Vacation Dictators.

[Thipu1]

We've has interesting threads on those who become dictators of food, desserts and sleep.  We've also had some interesting threads on vacations or holidays.  The vacation dictator may merit a thread of its own. 

MIL has always been down on our vacation choices.  Ships are dangerous, ruinously expensive and devoid of culture.  Europe has plenty of culture but it is expensive and can also be dangerous because of Gypsies. 

Where should we go?  In her view, the perfect vacation for us would be a bus trip of the National Parks.

We're sure they're fine but they aren't what we want.  Our holidays are well within our budget and we enjoy the leisure of being to travel in our hotel instead of moving from hotel to hotel every night.

Posts have mentioned relatives and friends who say that the posters are spending too much or that a child of a certain age is too young for a certain proposed journey.

What are your experiences with this sort of thing?     

[StuffedGrapeLeaves]

I have a friend who is a vacation dictator.  I went on vacation with her once and refused to do it again.  She insisted on setting the schedule every day, which for her meant getting up at the crack of dawn and cramming each day full of activities.  When I suggested that we take a day or two to relax a bit, she went crazy and said no, we had to see everything.  She got upset at me when I told her that I would not be joining her on her crazy breakneck speech, and blamed me for not seeing some obscure church.  She also didn't take much joy out of food, so she would have been totally fine with just grabbing quick snacks along the way, but I needed real meals.  I put my foot down on getting at least one real, sit-down meal a day, which meant I was treated to impatient sighs and whines that I was taking too long. 

[Calistoga]

My issue always seems to be family members insisting that we HAVE to use our vacation time each year to do family trips with them...even though this is by far the least relaxing or enjoyable thing DH and I can think of doing.

[LeveeWoman]

We've has interesting threads on those who become dictators of food, desserts and sleep.  We've also had some interesting threads on vacations or holidays.  The vacation dictator may merit a thread of its own. 

MIL has always been down on our vacation choices.  Ships are dangerous, ruinously expensive and devoid of culture.  Europe has plenty of culture but it is expensive and can also be dangerous because of Gypsies. 

Where should we go?  In her view, the perfect vacation for us would be a bus trip of the National Parks.

We're sure they're fine but they aren't what we want.  Our holidays are well within our budget and we enjoy the leisure of being to travel in our hotel instead of moving from hotel to hotel every night.

Posts have mentioned relatives and friends who say that the posters are spending too much or that a child of a certain age is too young for a certain proposed journey.

What are your experiences with this sort of thing?     

I think people should mind their own business unless asked for specific advice.

[jaxsue]

Some people have thought my vacation decisions are boring. History, who cares about that?!  I love visiting museum homes, battlefields, castles, and anything to do with the past. You have Disney World, I have Gettysburg. I'm happy with my choices.

As far as dictators go, when I was younger and more wimpy, I was pressured into visiting family (I have a large one) for every vacation. And that's a vacation, how? It took me awhile to realize that I was angry and super-stressed by the time I got back home. Who needs that? Now vacations are about what I want to do!

[mbbored]

My issue always seems to be family members insisting that we HAVE to use our vacation time each year to do family trips with them...even though this is by far the least relaxing or enjoyable thing DH and I can think of doing.

This is my issue. I live across the country from my family and have a limited budget. Right now my mother is appalled that I'm choosing to spend my vacation time and the money I've saved for 2 years to go out of the country just for fun. Clearly I'm selfish to prefer to wander the Louvre rather than sit in her den and watch Touched by an Angel on DVD.

[rose red]

As far as dictators go, when I was younger and more wimpy, I was pressured into visiting family (I have a large one) for every vacation. And that's a vacation, how? It took me awhile to realize that I was angry and super-stressed by the time I got back home. Who needs that? Now vacations are about what I want to do!

OK, which one of my siblings are you? 

[MrTango]

As far as dictators go, when I was younger and more wimpy, I was pressured into visiting family (I have a large one) for every vacation. And that's a vacation, how? It took me awhile to realize that I was angry and super-stressed by the time I got back home. Who needs that? Now vacations are about what I want to do!

That's why for the past few years, any time I go to visit relatives, I stay in a hotel in town.  I make a point of not telling my sister where we're staying.

That way, I can leave grandma's house when I'm ready to be done with people and I can sleep in uninterrupted by small children and barking dogs.

[AfleetAlex]

My issue always seems to be family members insisting that we HAVE to use our vacation time each year to do family trips with them...even though this is by far the least relaxing or enjoyable thing DH and I can think of doing.

This is my issue. I live across the country from my family and have a limited budget. Right now my mother is appalled that I'm choosing to spend my vacation time and the money I've saved for 2 years to go out of the country just for fun. Clearly I'm selfish to prefer to wander the Louvre rather than sit in her den and watch Touched by an Angel on DVD.

Do the Louvre! It's fantastic!! And I only saw a small portion of it. 

[lowspark]

I'm the one who loves the "frenetic" (as it was once called by a travel companion) pace on vacation. I can (and do!) relax at home. When I'm paying big bucks for airfare and hotel and meals, I want to go go go.

However, I do also want to eat nice meals -- in local restaurants. No chains while on vacation unless I'm stranded/desperate.

Now, I've made the mistake, a couple of times, of vacationing with people who are not of the same mind as me. The first two times I did this, it worked out as we just went our separate ways and met back up. I don't mind doing things alone so I went and did all the crazy touristy stuff I wanted while she just hung back and did whatever. The other time it was a large group and one couple wanted to sleep in so we let them while the rest of the group went out on the boat as planned.

The third time, however, I learned my lesson. I was stuck at a sort of remote location and I had to depend on others for transportation. It was a large group, most of whom wanted to sleep till 10 then pad around in PJs till lunch time, etc. I about went nuts.

So... I will not again go on a trip with people who don't have the same vacation style as me. I'm not saying my way is better, just different. I have a friend who goes on a cruise annually. She and her husband get a cabin with a balcony and pretty much sit there the entire vacation. I think they go to meals and that's it. No boat activities, no off-boat excursions. They love it and are very happy. I would probably jump off the boat after about 2 hours just to break up the monotony.

So again, they're happy doing their thing, I'm happy doing mine, and never the twain will meet, so it's best not to try to make them.

[Diane AKA Traska]

I have a very definite vacation dictator.  It's my bank account.  It vetoes every choice.

[lowspark]

My issue always seems to be family members insisting that we HAVE to use our vacation time each year to do family trips with them...even though this is by far the least relaxing or enjoyable thing DH and I can think of doing.

This is my issue. I live across the country from my family and have a limited budget. Right now my mother is appalled that I'm choosing to spend my vacation time and the money I've saved for 2 years to go out of the country just for fun. Clearly I'm selfish to prefer to wander the Louvre rather than sit in her den and watch Touched by an Angel on DVD.

Do the Louvre! It's fantastic!! And I only saw a small portion of it. 

I literally (almost!) ran through the Louvre. I was working for two weeks in our London office and was able, on a Saturday, to take the fast train to Paris for the day. I was lucky in that the day was cloudy and drizzly so there was almost no line for the Eiffel Tower and I got to go to the top and still have time for some other stuff. I made it to the Louvre about 30 minutes before closing and bought a ticket just so I could see La Joconde (Mona Lisa). But then, well, I was in The Louvre!! So, I just kept walking - very fast - and just sort of glancing as I passed things. I ended up being there over an hour till I finally found my way out, (along with a lot of other stragglers, lest you think I was the only one). I know, rude! But I wasn't sure if, let alone when, I'd ever be back.

[siamesecat2965]

I have several. One is my BF from college; who swears up and down she gets sick (colds, sinus infections etc.) from blowing a/c. She and I went on a cruise, leaving from San Juan, in May, where it was hot, and humid. We get to the hotel we were staying in the night before, and she insists we cannot have the a/c on. Um no, while I am willing to compromise, its 95 degrees and 100% humidty. There is no way in ehell we are turning it off.  I said we can turn it down (I prefer it arctic), you can have my blankets etc. nope, and she whined and carried on but I won the argument. While it wasn't as  cold as I would have liked it, it was acceptable, and I was ok with it.

Then on the ship, she insisted we turn the blower down in the cabin (you can't turn them off completely, yay!) but she also wanted to sleep with the balcony door open, letting all the hot in. I have issues with humidity; it gives me raging sinus headaches, but I manage.  So no, that isn't happening.  And she did get sick, but I don't know if that was from the "blowing" air or not but 8 years later I am STILL hearing about how sick she was from that. Like it was MY fault. So I iwll never travel with her again.

The other is my cousin; we went away several years ago, to a beachy resort area. Now she is a compulsive shopper. If there is something to be bought, or looked at, she is all over it. She wanted to shop every day. Including the same stores she has near her at home. I went along but if we ever go away again, I'm going to pass and do my own thing.  She also was insistent we cook dinner in teh condo and only go out one or two nights. Um no, we can do breakfast and lunch but I want my dinners out, and budget accordingly. I did win that one as sometimes we were out and about at dinner time

[Venus193]

I don't know one personally, but a friend had an in-law who was one of those frenetic "If it's 9AM it must be the Louvre" types.  What killed her was that this woman once took her infant daughter on one of those trips, which she regarded a the definition of selfishness.

The friend and her husband, on the other hand, ended up spending all their vacation time with relatives (who were in four different states).  After their "vacations" they were more stressed than before they left.

[heartmug]

My issue always seems to be family members insisting that we HAVE to use our vacation time each year to do family trips with them...even though this is by far the least relaxing or enjoyable thing DH and I can think of doing.

This is my issue. I live across the country from my family and have a limited budget. Right now my mother is appalled that I'm choosing to spend my vacation time and the money I've saved for 2 years to go out of the country just for fun. Clearly I'm selfish to prefer to wander the Louvre rather than sit in her den and watch Touched by an Angel on DVD.

So you have met my in-laws?  They live in tiny town, about 1,500 miles away from us, but yet we should be taking our teenagers there every.single.time we have off from work.  And to do what?  Go out to eat once (where we are expected to pick up the tab) and the rest of the time sit in their home and hope for distant relatives to drop by and say hello.  We can't talk the teens into doing this anymore and, frankly, I don't want to either.