Author Topic: Vacation Dictators.  (Read 29605 times)

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Lorelei_Evil

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Re: Vacation Dictators.
« Reply #30 on: March 05, 2013, 01:50:50 PM »
That's what I'm afraid of with my Florida timeshare.  My Dad has already tried to comandeer it "for the grandkids" none of whom will associate with me AND I PAY ALL THE BILLS for it. 

Amanita

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Re: Vacation Dictators.
« Reply #31 on: March 05, 2013, 01:55:49 PM »
I'm another one who can't abide the over-schedulers. I live by enough schedules at home, and am at the mercy of other people's scheduling enough of the time, I don't need it while on vacation. Could I have seen more in NYC or San Francisco had I set some strict military itinerary? Sure! But would have I had as much fun? I doubt it. Some of my happiest moments were when I was just relaxing somewhere- sitting on my terrace admiring lower Manhattan, or just spending some quality time with the Golden Gate Bridge.

I hate it when people freak over what I spend on hotels- that terrace room I had on my first trip to NYC set me back well over 2k for a week. But it was worth it, I used that terrace a lot, and it was a beautiful room! But I have had people freak on me, saying how ridiculous it was to spend the money. I guess I should stick to roach motels, or hotels in lousy locations where I have to commute every day, just because they're cheap.

Piratelvr1121

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Re: Vacation Dictators.
« Reply #32 on: March 05, 2013, 02:00:07 PM »
She only cruises with Disney. Anyone who can't afford a Disney cruise should simply not take a cruise at all, because all other cruises are hotbeds of filthy sex acts, 24/7 drunkenness, and immoral gambling.

Man, I have been on the WRONG cruises.   :P

LOL!!!

I went on one week long vacation with my dad's side of the family as an adult.  One.  And that was for a very, very good reason.  Mind you I love being around my extended family, get along very well with aunts, uncles, and cousins, but sharing a house with my parents was a HUGE mistake and unfortunately we really weren't given any other options.  At the time my older two boys were 9 months and 2 years.  And boy they were morning birds too, and the youngest one did not like getting diaper changes which meant he shrieked at 7am in the morning and I got lectured that "You're not talking to him enough, you're not distracting him or entertaining him enough!" I swear, I really did talk to him and tried what I could to keep them quiet but there is just no volume control on an infant.

Then there was my mother who insisted on watching every.single.bite. that went into my mouth and insisting I get more exercise anytime an un-cleared item of food went into my mouth. (mind you I was 24 at the time and a mother of two kids, I really did not need her dictating my diet)

As we left for the airport to fly back home, DH and I looked at each other and agreed that we needed a vacation from our vacation.

There aren't many people I really enjoy taking vacations with.  My best friend and I have similar vacationing styles so I'd gladly go anywhere with her.  We're both morning people, love nature, history and seeing sights but we also are fine just relaxing and chatting.  DH is not a morning person so it's nice to have someone who will get up early with me and watch sunrises on the beach or just chat over a cup of coffee.

Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.  You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata

jaxsue

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Re: Vacation Dictators.
« Reply #33 on: March 05, 2013, 02:03:36 PM »
As far as dictators go, when I was younger and more wimpy, I was pressured into visiting family (I have a large one) for every vacation. And that's a vacation, how? It took me awhile to realize that I was angry and super-stressed by the time I got back home. Who needs that? Now vacations are about what I want to do!

OK, which one of my siblings are you?  ;)

Uh, oh. You found me out.  8)

magicdomino

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Re: Vacation Dictators.
« Reply #34 on: March 05, 2013, 02:11:38 PM »
Some people have thought my vacation decisions are boring. History, who cares about that?!  ::) I love visiting museum homes, battlefields, castles, and anything to do with the past. You have Disney World, I have Gettysburg. I'm happy with my choices.

As far as dictators go, when I was younger and more wimpy, I was pressured into visiting family (I have a large one) for every vacation. And that's a vacation, how? It took me awhile to realize that I was angry and super-stressed by the time I got back home. Who needs that? Now vacations are about what I want to do!

Ah the "vacations" of my childhood, made even more entertaining by the fact that all of the cousins on my mother's side were grown and out of the house, and my aunts and uncles mostly lived in more-or-less rural areas.   :P  To this day, I firmly believe that visiting relatives does not count as a vacation. 

No vacation dictators in my life, aside from my late mother's comment that one should not travel until retirement.  I pointed out that she waited until retirement, then became too ill to travel.  My sister likes to state that she has no interest in traveling anywhere except the U.S., but I ignore her.  :)

Ms_Cellany

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Re: Vacation Dictators.
« Reply #35 on: March 05, 2013, 02:14:34 PM »
I'm not sure to this day what you call a large group of lesbians (a gaggle? a bunch? a herd?).

I think it's "committee."

ETA that I checked with The Sweetie, and we decided on "a process of lesbians."
« Last Edit: March 05, 2013, 03:49:47 PM by Ms_Cellany »
Using a chainsaw is as close as we come to having a lightsaber in this life.

weeblewobble

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Re: Vacation Dictators.
« Reply #36 on: March 05, 2013, 02:15:52 PM »
Sorry, I keep thinking of more:

We have some friends that we camp really well with, and some... not so much.

For instance, Jenna, my best friend from college and her husband, Will, live nearby and enjoy camping. We have the same general idea of what makes a good camping trip.  Good food, relaxation by the fire pit, the occasional walk or leisurely hike. We definitely aren't "wake up at dawn to do leg lifts with our canoe then go one a ten-mile nature death march." types. So we always have a lot of fun together.

Unfortunately, it has taken a few misfires for us to figure out that it's best just to stick to our two families camping together and not invite anyone else.  Even if they try to invite themselves.


David and Dinah: We took a group camping trip once, with Jenna, Will, and their friends, David and Dinah and two other couples. David and Dinah hated everything we did.  They spent most of the weekend huffing and pouting because we weren't eating what they wanted exactly when they wanted, we weren't using one of the other couple's pontoon boats as much they wanted, and we were sitting around the fire at night, laughing and chatting, rather than going to the local saloons for fun. They were being so pouty one morning that the group was hiking as planned rather than boating, that we literally left them behind. (Taking the boat keys with us.)  They were purposely getting ready slowly and keeping us from leaving, so we gave them a 10 minute warning, then left. 

Never again, I told Jenna.  NEVER AGAIN.

Sarah: Jenna and I have a mutual friend, Sarah, who HATES the outdoors. I mean, can't stand being dirty or uncomfortable or hot. Shrieks at bugs. Thinks deer are out to murder her. We did not invite Sarah or her husband on our camping trips because we knew Sarah would be miserable the whole time. We were also careful not to discuss it in front of her, to avoid hurt feelings.

Well, a few years ago, Sarah asked non-chalantly if I was planning another campout with Jenna. I said we were and didn't comment further.  Sarah ranted about how much it hurts her that we exclude her from these trips and it's not fair.  I talked to Jenna and we decided that we'd give Sarah a chance, but we wouldn't change how normally do things. Sarah had to adjust to us, not the other way around.

Sarah's husband had a great time.  Sarah... not so much. She didn't like eating outside and said cooking and washing dishes outdoors was too much of a hassle. Couldn't we just go into town for a burger? (No.)  She hated sitting outside by the campfire at night to toast marshmallows and chat, one of our favorite parts of the day. There were bugs and her shorts were getting dirty. Couldn't we just sit inside the nice, clean camper and play cards? (No.)  She was BOOOOOORED during the day, when we were sitting around reading or taking walks or fishing. Couldn't we go into town and shop? (Considering the biggest store in town was a bait store. No.)

She still insisted we invite her along next time. We declined and bean dipped every time she asked about another trip in the future. The whole experience, watching her have meltdowns over not getting her way, really cooled the friendship for me and I haven't spent as much time with her in the last year or two.

Karen: DH's friend, Mike is married to Karen.  We got along just fine in the "Real world" and there was no indication that Karen was a crazy person until we got out into the woods.  Isn't that always the case? Karen seemed convinced that she could teach us how to REALLY enjoy camping if she just pushed hard enough.  She saw our more chilled out camping as "lazy" and said we were missing the point of sleeping in the outdoors. Even though we laid out our plans - wake up at 7ish, fix breakfast, take the kids to a nature center, come back, put the kids down for naps, fix lunch- she seemed to think that the will of one person (her) outranked the wishes of the eight other people in the group and woke us up at 5 (including the kids) for what she called REAL camping.  This meant a much more laborous and less delicious method of making breakfast (weird dutch oven sausage bake casserole thing versus the pancakes we had planned), her demanding that we immediately walk off said breakfast with a super-long hike - not on a marked trail, of course, that's cheating!  We declined, went ahead with our plans for the nature center, lunch, etc., and every time we went against her agenda, she barked, "That's not REAL camping!"

When she tried to get between me and my s'mores, ("Let me show you how a REAL camper makes apple pie over the fire!") I told DH and Mike that I was going to re-enact every scary "serial killer vs. terrorized campers" movie ever made if they didn't get this woman out of my face.  Mess with my sleeping schedule?  OK.  Change up breakfast plans?  Fine, then.  BUT NOBODY GETS ME BETWEEN ME AND CHOCOLATEY MARSHMALLOWY GOODNESS! 

Mike seemed to expect this sort of threat to his spouse, as it had happened on previous camping trips.

This may make us sound like elitist "too cool for you" snobs.  But I think the real problem is that Jenna's family and mine respect each other's wishes and habits and no one person tries to steer the group's agenda to fit their own needs.  In each case above, someone made the trip all about them and refused to believe that someone else might want a different experience.

Now, Jenna and I quietly arrange our trips and just don't tell anyone else.
« Last Edit: March 05, 2013, 02:32:36 PM by weeblewobble »

Lorelei_Evil

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Re: Vacation Dictators.
« Reply #37 on: March 05, 2013, 02:16:18 PM »
I used to love to travel.  I still do, but airports stress me out.  Don't get me started on the TSA, they snag me every time.  They take one look at the cane, and it's handsearch the luggage time.  I always allow LOTS of time to get through, but it's a near thing to make connections a lot of the time.   ::)

I figure that if I want to do it, I better do it while my body can still cooperate, so I put up with it.  It's infuriating though sometimes, especially when business travelling.

Thipu1

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Re: Vacation Dictators.
« Reply #38 on: March 05, 2013, 02:16:47 PM »
I had a work-friend whose parents came from a lovely city in Eastern Europe. Let's say it was Prague.  As a teen-ager, she had to spend her vacation visiting family in that city. 

What did they do in this city of beautiful things to see and interesting things to do? 

For the week they were there, they sat in the home of relatives and work-friend was treated to her parents and local family members reminiscing about Uncle So-and-So whom she'd never met in a language she barely understood.

As soon as she could, she backed out of these vacations.   

She later visited the city but didn't tell her parents or relatives where she was going.  Although the
 family was livid when they found out what she had done, she finally got to enjoy the place.
     

Waterlight

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Re: Vacation Dictators.
« Reply #39 on: March 05, 2013, 02:18:42 PM »
I'm one who loves going new places. It really doesn't matter where it is, if I've never seen it before, I'm excited!

POD!  Part of the reason I'm an avid hiker is getting to travel to places I haven't been before, that have lots of scenic beauty (wildflowers, waterfalls, mountain views--you get the idea).

Another thing I like is being able to plan my own trips to those new places.  Maybe it's because I'm an off-the-scale introvert, but I don't like the idea of traveling with a big group of people on a planned-to-the-minute tour.

One of my favorite day trips EVER was to a town less than two hours north of Seattle.  I poked around the town's historical district (which had plaques marking the sites of visits from famous people, shootouts, stuff like that).  While I was exploring, I discovered a cafe that served a world-class peanut butter pie; it was featured in Bon Appetit!  There were also hiking trails that led to a state park, a couple of good bookstores, a farmer's market, and even a small consignment shop.  In short, all the stuff I REALLY like, with none of the hassle or the crowds!
“The best lightning rod for your protection is your own spine.”--Ralph Waldo Emerson

Margo

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Re: Vacation Dictators.
« Reply #40 on: March 05, 2013, 02:22:53 PM »
I think I've been very lucky with my holiday companions.
Everyone I've been away with has either had similar tastes to mine in terms of how to organise a holiday, or has been open to compromise (or both)

When I've travelled with either of my sisters, we've tended to do some things together, and split up for others - for instance, neither of them had any interest in visiting the town museum, I had very little interest in window shopping, we all enjoyed eating at local restuarants together.

With my best friend, we both tend to enjoy the same things, (and to enjoy them for the same length of time, so both of us get to the 'enough art. give me coffee' point at the same time!) and we're both willing to compromise.

I'm another who would hate to be overly scheduled on holiday - I like the luxury of being able to do stuff on impulse, sometimes. I'll plan for my 'must sees' - if there's something where to miss it would spoil my holiday, but typically that might be one or two things/places in the course of a one week holiday (so for instance, in Florence, I wanted to visit the Uffizi, and we pre-booked that so we didn't have to queue, and could be sure of getting in)

weeblewobble

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Re: Vacation Dictators.
« Reply #41 on: March 05, 2013, 02:25:42 PM »
That's what I'm afraid of with my Florida timeshare.  My Dad has already tried to comandeer it "for the grandkids" none of whom will associate with me AND I PAY ALL THE BILLS for it.

Please tell me you said no!  Shame on your dad!

MrTango

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Re: Vacation Dictators.
« Reply #42 on: March 05, 2013, 02:27:48 PM »
That's what I'm afraid of with my Florida timeshare.  My Dad has already tried to comandeer it "for the grandkids" none of whom will associate with me AND I PAY ALL THE BILLS for it.

Please tell me you said no!  Shame on your dad!

Either that or, "Oh, you're buying a timeshare, dad?"

CaffeineKatie

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Re: Vacation Dictators.
« Reply #43 on: March 05, 2013, 02:28:24 PM »
When we were younger, poorer and more spineless, my husband's family insisted that we HAD to come visit them every school break.  He was and is a teacher, so he had plenty of vacation time; I had 2 weeks per year at my job and no seniority to claim days off around holidays.  When we suggested his richer, self-employeed family members come visit us instead, they would all insist it was MUCH too far to come and visit our area (it was closer for us to go to them?!?!) and then they would regale us with stories of their vacations to Morrocco, southern France and Brazil--all using frequent flyer miles they had earned traveling for business.  I finally refused to visit any more--I stopped spending money we didn't have to sleep on a cot for 5 days while they ignored us and went on with their social activities.  They do a perfunctory whine once a year--WHYYY isn't Caffeine coming?????--and my DH goes for a week or two in the summer.

Lorelei_Evil

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Re: Vacation Dictators.
« Reply #44 on: March 05, 2013, 02:32:29 PM »
That's what I'm afraid of with my Florida timeshare.  My Dad has already tried to comandeer it "for the grandkids" none of whom will associate with me AND I PAY ALL THE BILLS for it.

Please tell me you said no!  Shame on your dad!

Either that or, "Oh, you're buying a timeshare, dad?"

I used a combined method.   >:D  One, I told them how much I'd rent it to them for if I wasn't going along and two, if I was going along then they have to do the "family" vacation thing where I would do all the planning. 

Knew that wouldn't be popular.  They want it for free and they're not getting it.  Dad always does this.  When we go to Vegas, he tries to make us all go at the same time.  He's gone so far as to try and change my reservations before.  That didn't work either.