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Author Topic: Vacation Dictators.  (Read 60056 times)

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Re: Vacation Dictators.
« Reply #45 on: March 05, 2013, 01:35:25 PM »
I used to love to travel.  I still do, but airports stress me out.  Don't get me started on the TSA, they snag me every time.  They take one look at the cane, and it's handsearch the luggage time.  I always allow LOTS of time to get through, but it's a near thing to make connections a lot of the time.   ::)

I figure that if I want to do it, I better do it while my body can still cooperate, so I put up with it.  It's infuriating though sometimes, especially when business travelling.

I get pulled out of line and searched at least once on every trip we take.  Maybe we look like reasonable people who will cooperate?


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Re: Vacation Dictators.
« Reply #46 on: March 05, 2013, 01:38:03 PM »
With me, it's the stick.  It makes me look different, so I'm an easy mark.  Doesn't matter how I'm dressed either.  I can be in a suit, or dressed like a shlub, they'll get me every time.


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Re: Vacation Dictators.
« Reply #47 on: March 05, 2013, 01:38:39 PM »

I hate it when people freak over what I spend on hotels- that terrace room I had on my first trip to NYC set me back well over 2k for a week. But it was worth it, I used that terrace a lot, and it was a beautiful room! But I have had people freak on me, saying how ridiculous it was to spend the money. I guess I should stick to roach motels, or hotels in lousy locations where I have to commute every day, just because they're cheap.

I hear you. My theory is if you have to nickle and dime it, don't go until you can afford it. I've been on 2 cruises and loved it. yes, they can be pricy when you add in excursions, alcohol, etc. but had I only been able to afford the actual cruise, and no extras, it wouldn't have been any fun, and I would have stayed home. I even budgeted for laundry so I could pack less.

Same thing with Disney; never been, and I know its pricy, so I'm not going until I can afford to do it the way I want to; staying on the Disney property, and being able to eat out at some of the nicer restaurants. I don't want to have rent a car, and drive there every day, eating in my room on the cheap. 


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Re: Vacation Dictators.
« Reply #48 on: March 05, 2013, 01:40:28 PM »
To the previous poster who's going to the Louvre: check out the ceilings.  And you can spend a month in the Louvre and still have something to see. 

My EX was the vacation dictator.  He had a hard time facing anything different.  He would even turn the car around and come back home when I fell asleep in the passenger seat.  He just would not consider anything except going to his dad's cabin.  I hated that place with a passion. 

When I travelled with my parents, my mother was the one with the control streak.  Can you say overprepared?  I had to travel hundreds of miles in the backseat of the car with a box of condiments in my lap squished between the cooler and the extra clothes because we might need those.  Why she could not put all that stuff in the trailer is beyond me.  Now, I overcompensate by carrying only a backpack.  I have a credit card, some cash and there are places everywhere on this planet where you can get food, clothes and other sundries.  And I realised I can do without a lot of things, as long as I'm clean and fed.  But that's me. 

I can't stand group travel, just not my personnality.  I usually have a loose schedule of places I want to see, but I leave myself space to just stop and stare at something I like. That drove my mother crazy, since I was not in a group, I would miss all the important stuff.  Sorry, but I was able to get into a lot of places just because I was alone.  I was able to savor every second in Notre-Dame-de-Paris, in some ruins in Spain or in an onsen in Japan because I was not tied up in someone's schedule.  I can spend a whole day with my nose in a book if I want to and still enjoy my time.

I can understand that some like to have a schedule and there are lots of options for them.  Just not for me. 

"It's not the years in your life that count, it's the life in your years." - Office coffee cup.


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Re: Vacation Dictators.
« Reply #49 on: March 05, 2013, 01:43:50 PM »
We did one beach vacation with my parents and Brother and SIL.  SIL is scheduled to the point of ridiculousness.  DS and Eldest Niece were toddlers at the time.  SIL wanted to stick to the same schedule she had at home (how my brother put up with this for so long boggles me).

8:00 am Get Up
8:15 Niece gets dressed followed by SIL and Brother
8:20 Breakfast
8:35 Wash Niece's face
9:00 Go to beach
9:30 Take Niece inside to nap (this stopped quickly when Niece realized everyone else was still at the beach)
10:00 Niece has snack
10:15 Wash Niece's face
10:30 Apply more sunscreen
11:00 Read Niece a book
11:15 Have Niece do puzzle
11:30 Lunch
11:45 Wash Niece's face
12:00 Adults eat lunch
12:30 - 4:00 Beach with sunscreen applied at 1/2 hour intervals
4:15 Try to make Niece take a nap
5:00 Dinner
5:30-6:30 Niece watches TV
6:30 Read Niece a book
7:00 Niece has a bath
7:15 Read Niece a book
7:30 Niece has snack
7:35 Wash Niece's face
8:00 Niece goes to bed - No noise for the rest of the night

By contrast, I think DS went to bed with sand in his hair a few times.  We never went on vacation with my Brother and SIL again.  It was too stressful trying to keep up with her schedule.


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Re: Vacation Dictators.
« Reply #50 on: March 05, 2013, 01:47:57 PM »
I have been fortunate enough to travel to two different foreign countries in my life so far. The first country was Hungary, for a choir trip. I had horrible jet lag, since I live in the US, so I was going to bed and waking up at weird times. Silly me, I thought mentioning this to my choir director would be nothing. She berated me for being "so careless" with my health, and didn't I know a good night's sleep was important? Etc.

Lady, I am 7 timezones away from home. Did you seriously think traveling that far that fast wouldn't have any ill - effects on me? It's not like I can make myself sleep when you think I should.
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Re: Vacation Dictators.
« Reply #51 on: March 05, 2013, 01:55:02 PM »
Most of these stories don't seem to be about "vacation dictators" to me, but rather examples of people who shouldn't vacation together.  Not everyone is vacation compatible. That doesn't mean they are vacationing wrong, or that you are vacationing wrong, just that you shouldn't vacation together. DH and I have VERY different views of what the ideal vacation should be and it takes a lot of compromise on both our parts to have one that is enjoyable to both of us.
Ask for what you want. Let's be clear on this one:
Subtle hints don't work.
Strong hints don't work.
Really obvious hints don't work.
Just say it!

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Re: Vacation Dictators.
« Reply #52 on: March 05, 2013, 01:57:40 PM »
This, so much this. 

DH's family is from Eastern Europe.  We so badly want to go back and visit but DH is not fluent enough in the language and I do not speak it at all except for the bare necessities.  DH's father is fluent and would be more than happy to go with us.  However, he is 79 years old and would spend the entire visit sitting in his sister's house on the farm talking in a language that we don't understand about people we never met.  We would want to go and do and it would result in a huge issue because he would feel that we were being disrespectful.   After all, we traveled all that way and why would you want to go see a museum or a church or a monastery when there is F-A-A-M-I-L-Y to visit????   ::)

I had a work-friend whose parents came from a lovely city in Eastern Europe. Let's say it was Prague.  As a teen-ager, she had to spend her vacation visiting family in that city. 

What did they do in this city of beautiful things to see and interesting things to do? 

For the week they were there, they sat in the home of relatives and work-friend was treated to her parents and local family members reminiscing about Uncle So-and-So whom she'd never met in a language she barely understood.

As soon as she could, she backed out of these vacations.   

She later visited the city but didn't tell her parents or relatives where she was going.  Although the
 family was livid when they found out what she had done, she finally got to enjoy the place.


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Re: Vacation Dictators.
« Reply #53 on: March 05, 2013, 02:02:30 PM »
She only cruises with Disney. Anyone who can't afford a Disney cruise should simply not take a cruise at all, because all other cruises are hotbeds of filthy sex acts, 24/7 drunkenness, and immoral gambling.

Ooh, which cruise company is this?  Sounds like fun to me!


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Re: Vacation Dictators.
« Reply #54 on: March 05, 2013, 02:10:27 PM »
I really don't like traveling that much. For me it becomes all about the logistics--how am I going to get there, where am I going to eat, where can I use the bathroom, etc. rather than enjoying what's actually there. I do think if we had Star Trek transporters that could instantly beam me from home to the final destination it would be great and take away a lot of my stress, but still not all of it. It's just not that big a thing to me. I wouldn't say reading a book about a place is "as good as" going, but to be honest it's good enough for me in most cases, and that really seems to bother some people that I know. Um, why? Am I somehow infringing on your ability to travel? No. I am happy to hear about your trip, see photos, etc.. Just stop yourself before saying the words, "Next time you should come with me!" because that's just going to lead to awkwardness all around.

It's definitely important to find people you are travel/vacation compatible with. If I were going away from home, my ideal vacation would be to travel for no more than a couple hours total and end up at a nice hotel. There should be restaurants I can walk to, preferably a Cheesecake Factory, and a fridge/microwave in my room. A shopping mall in easy walking distance would be great, too. Mostly I would stay in my nice room, reading and writing in peace and quiet, not getting distracted by the nagging feeling that I should be doing laundry or paying a bill or something like that. Occasionally I would go out to eat and walk around the mall, to stretch my legs and give housekeeping a chance to straighten up the room. Because of the fridge in the room I could order whatever I wanted at Cheesecake Factory and bring the leftovers back for later. Get up when I want, go to bed when I want. Maybe I would watch a movie on TV sometime. All this could be done alone, and maybe that would be preferable.

This would be so fantastic to me. And I cannot even describe the looks of horror some people get when I describe it. Hey, we each have our own preferences, you know? My mom hates sitting around and wants to get out and do things, although she's not really a scheduler; my dad and I wanted to sleep late, so family vacations as a kid were always stressful. Plus my family has communication issues and a lot of the time there was stress about the logistics--people not letting other people know when they needed to stop or when we should get up in the morning or how far we were driving today, etc..

My friend Amy is VERY go-go-go, scheduling everything. We traveled together for fun ONCE and I was completely zonked at the end of each day. I remember being on our last tour of the day and every time the guide stopped walking, I would just lean against something and zone out because I was so exhausted. Now in retrospect it was good to have gone because we saw a lot of cool things, but at the time it was just not very much fun. She loves to travel and that's how she likes to do things, because she wants to get the most out of her trip. Fine, you do that. She keeps making noises about how "we" should travel again soon and I'm like, mmm, noooooooo... She has another friend who seems more compatible--they went down to Harry Potter Land and got up at 6am every day to be at the gates when they opened and beat the crowds. They had a blast. That's cool. Not gonna work for me, though.


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Re: Vacation Dictators.
« Reply #55 on: March 05, 2013, 02:12:15 PM »
if we had Star Trek transporters that could instantly beam me from home to the final destination it would be great

Except for the drive to the transporter bay and the three-hour line to use it...
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Re: Vacation Dictators.
« Reply #56 on: March 05, 2013, 02:19:08 PM »
She only cruises with Disney. Anyone who can't afford a Disney cruise should simply not take a cruise at all, because all other cruises are hotbeds of filthy sex acts, 24/7 drunkenness, and immoral gambling.

Ooh, which cruise company is this?  Sounds like fun to me!

I'd love to find that line too, if only to avoid it.  Some lines are more lively than others but none of them have ever been that rowdy.  Perhaps it's because we tend to go to bed around 11 pm, if we're lucky. 


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Re: Vacation Dictators.
« Reply #57 on: March 05, 2013, 02:22:12 PM »
I'd love to be able to travel by broom, floo powder, portkey or apparition. :)  Okay well maybe not portkey and apparition, they don't look like the most pleasant forms of wizard travel.

I'm intending on traveling by train when possible when traveling within the country. I'm so tired of flying these days and am willing to factor in the extra time to get from A to B.
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.  You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata


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Re: Vacation Dictators.
« Reply #58 on: March 05, 2013, 02:27:30 PM »
if we had Star Trek transporters that could instantly beam me from home to the final destination it would be great

Except for the drive to the transporter bay and the three-hour line to use it...

You could solve both of those problems with Site-to-Site transport and a system of reservations.

Then again, I'm not too sure how I'd like having my molecules scrambled...


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Re: Vacation Dictators.
« Reply #59 on: March 05, 2013, 02:33:38 PM »
We had a group a friends that went on a cruise together years ago. Three married couples and some of their kids.

Pete & Jane and one of their kids.
Sean & CeeCee and one of their kids.
Rick & Dina and two of their kids.

It was a week-long cruise with 3 ports and excursions.

Dina, an experienced cruiser, organized everything and planned the excursions.

Everyone seemed to enjoy themselves except Pete (Jane would just roll her eyes when Pete got on his soapbox). Jane, Sean & CeeCee were a little annoyed by how 'controlling' and 'tireless' Dina was but still had a good time. Pete's response to being asked if he enjoyed himself was, "NEVER AGAIN!"

The thing is...what he was complaining about didn't sound that bad. She planned stuff. They did it. Fun.

So when Rick & Dina wanted to get another cruise together, Pete & Jane insisted WE go and they would watch our very young kids. Rick & Dina seemed excited at the prospect of us going. Sean & CeeCee weren't interested but their son came since he was best buds with Rick & Dina's son. Another couple joined us as well - so 3 couples and two teenage boys.

Before the trip Dina sat down with us and explained that she'd heard that some people were a little upset with how she planned the vacay. She was flummoxed. She said, "All I did was give ideas on excursions and asked if anyone wanted to join. Everyone was free to say 'no'. That is better than saying 'yes' and acting miserable." I agreed with her.

So she just asked me to be honest about what we wanted to do and felt like doing. Since one of the reasons we don't travel to places is my DH's high anxiety levels, the prospect of going with this well-travelled couple was very appealing to us. So we told her we wanted her to make suggestions and we were open to anything within financial reason.

It was the best vacation we've ever been on without kids. We didn't have to worry about a single thing! Dina handled everything beautifully and it really didn't matter to her if we would have felt like crying off and not hanging with them.

I'd go on vacay with Rick & Dina in a heartbeat. If they were dictators (according to Pete) they were certainly benevolent ones. Pete was glad we had a good time but he honestly didn't understand how we possibly could have. Just differing vacationing styles, I guess.