Vacation Dictators.

[siamesecat2965]

I hate it when people freak over what I spend on hotels- that terrace room I had on my first trip to NYC set me back well over 2k for a week. But it was worth it, I used that terrace a lot, and it was a beautiful room! But I have had people freak on me, saying how ridiculous it was to spend the money. I guess I should stick to roach motels, or hotels in lousy locations where I have to commute every day, just because they're cheap.

I hear you. My theory is if you have to nickle and dime it, don't go until you can afford it. I've been on 2 cruises and loved it. yes, they can be pricy when you add in excursions, alcohol, etc. but had I only been able to afford the actual cruise, and no extras, it wouldn't have been any fun, and I would have stayed home. I even budgeted for laundry so I could pack less.

Same thing with Disney; never been, and I know its pricy, so I'm not going until I can afford to do it the way I want to; staying on the Disney property, and being able to eat out at some of the nicer restaurants. I don't want to have rent a car, and drive there every day, eating in my room on the cheap.

I have some friends who enjoy going to Disney and trying to save as much money as possible.  For the husband, that's part of the fun, finding deals and discounts and 'secret freebies.'  When we went a few years ago, part of the fun for me was saving up enough money so that when we got there, we could just relax and not worry about what everything was costing us.

I'm all for finding discounts, but, I do that before we go. this way when I'm there, as you said, I can relax and enjoy myself. I always overbudget, so I'm generally not surprised by any unexpected costs, and sometimes even come home with money!

[dietcokeofevil]

Every fall, DH, the kids and I go to Disney World for 5-7 days.  We've done this for the last 7 years or so and we've figured out what works best for us.   

Now my MIL has decided that we should make a whole extended family vacation out of it with her and FIL, BIL, BIL's wife and their 2 kids.   I can just see this turning into a miserable experience.  BIL will complain about the cost the whole time.  FIL will encourage the kids to do stuff that we don't allow, climbing on stuff etc.  They'll be late to everything.    At the same time, I know how happy it would make MIL.  They never had the money when DH and his brother were little to do a vacation like this, so it'd be a big deal.  I'm afraid I'll have to turn into the vacation dictator to ensure that we don't have a horrible experience.

[Thipu1]

Sometimes, you can get people with an agenda for a holiday to relax a little.

Mr. Thipu isn't exactly a dictator but he has a good idea of what he wants to do in a particular city. As an engineer, he likes to be somewhat precise. Since he's legally blind, he does a lot of research.     

Last autumn, we were to fly to Heathrow and spend a day in London before taking the train down to Southampton. He had our day all planned out.  Superstorm  Sandy  caused a change in our plans and, instead of one day in London, we found ourselves faced with four (hooray!).

We'd been to London several times before but he was lost because his agenda was upset.  We bought a guide-book, spent an hour or so over a pint  debating what to do and wound up having a wonderful time.

  We had the time to visit out of the way places like  the London Canal Museum.  We were able to
have a leisurely dinner and enjoy a trivia contest in a pub.  It was the perfect way to decompress and have a vacation before our vacation. 

Sometimes, things go better when they don't go to plan. 

[Bluenomi]

MIL is a bit odd. When we visit her we can't get her to make a decision to do anything so spend a lot of time hanging around waiting. When she visits us she has a set list and gets upset if it doesn't fit in with DD or our plans (cause you know we've already got some since she decided to visit uninvited with less than a weeks notice).

Her sister came all the way over from Scotland and they came to visit us which was lovely. Except instead of taking her sister to all the awesome national attractions we have MIL insisted we take her shopping. We don't really have any shops that she couldn't find at home or at MIL's city. We managed to convince MIL to let us take her to one interesting place but got dragged out quickly to go to the food markets!

[hobish]

Sometimes, you can get people with an agenda fora holiday to relax a little.

Mr. Thipu isn't exactly a dictator but he has a good idea of what he wants to do in a particular city. As an engineer, he likes to be somewhat precise.     

Last autumn, we were to fly to Heathrow and spend a day in London before taking the train down to Southampton. He had our day all planned out.  Superstorm  Sandy  caused a change in our plans and, instead of one day in London, we found ourselves faced with four (hooray!).

We'd been to London several times before but he was lost because his agenda was upset.  We bought a guide-book, spent an hour or so over a pint  debating what to do and wound up having a wonderful time.

  We had the time to visit out of the way places like  the London Canal Museum.  We were able to
have a leisurely dinner and enjoy a trivia contest in a pub.  It was the perfect way to decompress and have a vacation before our vacation. 

Sometimes, things go better when they don't go to plan.

The friend that I mentioned is a lieutenant in the military, and a doctor to boot. I am sure that is part of the reason she likes to be precise (such a polite way to say that ) and just expects everyone will listen to and follow her. Her husband is happy to comply – and I say that without snark, it sounds odd in my head – so I think she is thrown for a loop when the rest of us don’t just fall in line, as well.
It has been years since that first disastrous trip, and we have actually even done it again with much more success. We’re hoping to hit Virginia together this Summer, with a baby, even. I’m just always prepared for the uber-bossiness, and usually I am pleasantly surprised. 

[nutraxfornerves]

[snip]or just spending some quality time with the Golden Gate Bridge.

I'm just curious, can you expand on the bolded?  What qualifies as quality time?  You mean walking across it or something (can you do that)?

There are a couple of popular things to do on the bridge. Yes, you can walk across it. You can also rent a bicycle, bike across, then bike (downhill) to the town of Sausalito, potter around & take a ferry back to SF. The bike rental companies give you maps.

[Cami]

As far as dictators go, when I was younger and more wimpy, I was pressured into visiting family (I have a large one) for every vacation. And that's a vacation, how? It took me awhile to realize that I was angry and super-stressed by the time I got back home. Who needs that? Now vacations are about what I want to do!

OK, which one of my siblings are you? 

Apparently one of mine.

[TootsNYC]

Every fall, DH, the kids and I go to Disney World for 5-7 days.  We've done this for the last 7 years or so and we've figured out what works best for us.   

Now my MIL has decided that we should make a whole extended family vacation out of it with her and FIL, BIL, BIL's wife and their 2 kids.   I can just see this turning into a miserable experience.  BIL will complain about the cost the whole time.  FIL will encourage the kids to do stuff that we don't allow, climbing on stuff etc.  They'll be late to everything.    At the same time, I know how happy it would make MIL.  They never had the money when DH and his brother were little to do a vacation like this, so it'd be a big deal.  I'm afraid I'll have to turn into the vacation dictator to ensure that we don't have a horrible experience.

But if you do, your MIL and FIl may have a horrible experience.

[TootsNYC]

[snip]or just spending some quality time with the Golden Gate Bridge.

I'm just curious, can you expand on the bolded?  What qualifies as quality time?  You mean walking across it or something (can you do that)?

There are a couple of popular things to do on the bridge. Yes, you can walk across it. You can also rent a bicycle, bike across, then bike (downhill) to the town of Sausalito, potter around & take a ferry back to SF. The bike rental companies give you maps.

You can also find a place to stay with a view of it (or a park bench with a view of it) and sit there and gaze at it.

[redberry]

I think if I found myself in the company of a vacation dictator they'd very quickly find themselves alone.

I used to travel Europe a lot for work and had other Australian friends working overseas. My all time favourite holiday I met my friend Matt in Stuttgart and hired a BMW Z3 (the model of the day) and we spent 10 days driving to Monaco just for the hell of it. No plans, we took side trips if we wanted to see something, and when it hit 3pm in the afternoon the deal was that whatever was the next town we rolled in to was where we were staying the night and we'd find some accommodation when we got there.

A vacation should be relaxing, not a schedule driven march from one activity to the next.

[dietcokeofevil]

Every fall, DH, the kids and I go to Disney World for 5-7 days.  We've done this for the last 7 years or so and we've figured out what works best for us.   

Now my MIL has decided that we should make a whole extended family vacation out of it with her and FIL, BIL, BIL's wife and their 2 kids.   I can just see this turning into a miserable experience.  BIL will complain about the cost the whole time.  FIL will encourage the kids to do stuff that we don't allow, climbing on stuff etc.  They'll be late to everything.    At the same time, I know how happy it would make MIL.  They never had the money when DH and his brother were little to do a vacation like this, so it'd be a big deal.  I'm afraid I'll have to turn into the vacation dictator to ensure that we don't have a horrible experience.

But if you do, your MIL and FIl may have a horrible experience.

By "we" I actually meant the whole group.  MIL can't make plans.  MIL would be dithering back and forth about what to do, which irritates FIL until he snaps.  Then they'll start bickering with each other making everyone very uncomfortable.  The nephews will have a meltdown because they're hungry and tired, causing BIL and SIL to start arguing.  They also won't believe us when we say if you want to do character meals you have to make reservations in advance, so there will be drama when they can't get into the restaurants they want.   It's just better all around if I just get their input up front about what stuff they want to do, lay out the itinerary and give it to them when we arrive.

[kherbert05]

I love family vacations. We would go to PEI every couple of years. We sure didn't spend the time inside looking at the walls. We were out and about doing things with a ton of cousins. We tended to schedule during Old Home Week - and Dad actually let us ride the rides. (we weren't allowed to ride the ones at the rodeo here in Houston). One time I picked up the book Them Times (a record of various oral histories) I recognized several names especially Uncle Press and got to talking to Nanna about them. My Uncle John overheard and got us tickets to a live performance by the author relating the stories. (John once told me he worried I wasn't stubborn enough - then he realized I just skip the discussion and go do what I want.)

Family vacations with Dad's side were all about relaxing and making sure everyone got to do some of the things they wanted. I can remember being elementary aged and being allowed to explore say a set of antique shops on this block. Then one of my cousins would show up looking for me ask the store keeper where the used kids books were, find me and tell me to pick out what I was going to buy. We rarely did the all in one thing - except dinners out. I guess I was the closest thing to a dictator because it would be "Ok we are thinking about going to X restaurant - can Kimberly eat there.

Now I figure every kid in the family pulled a stunt like the one Ted did up thread. Difference was we were all between 13 - 16, and we did it once. The adults said fine stay here - do not leave the hotel room or hell will rain down on your head. No ordering room service or you will wish for hell. Someone will swing by and pick up up for lunch. There were no repeat performances.

Mom and Dad ran into vacation dictators on business trips. Miller used to (they may still) have a big trip as a reward for high performing distributorships. Mom and Dad were the weird ones that got up before noon and went to Horrors upon Horrors Museums - instead of partying all night.

I ran into dictators on the school trips to Greece, and another one to Scotland and England. In Greece the food thing wasn't so bad. Most of the trip was on a cruise and we could eat anywhere on the islands we stopped on. Also it was thankfully hard to find a McDonalds in Athens. We did have the idiot chaperone who wanted to know why the Greeks didn't speak English like civilized people. I looked at our principal and asked if the idiot knew we were in the cradle of western civilization. They also had us dress in shorts and short sleeved shirts to go to a Cathedral - I refused to get off the bus because if I walked into a Cathedral dressed like that my Mom and Nanna would kill me remotely from Texas and PEI. (Principal told the teacher and chaperons to let me stay. He later told me that was the moment be believed I was related to my Dad's first cousins) They were back 5 minutes later having been refused admission for being improperly dressed.

Scotland and England the next year were worse. For one the idiots (aka chaperons) could speak the language. There were so many things that I thought educated people would know
1. The lady offering to get us crisps was being nice (the schedule got messed up and 1/2 of us didn't get lunch. Arrived at this location to find out there was no place to get us lunch. We were competing with another drill team - and one of the mom's found out we hadn't eaten and offered to go to the chemist shop and get what was available.

2.  There were way to many McDonalds around I don't eat there in Texas why would I eat there in London. I talked the Principal into letting at least us seniors go eat in a Pub - couldn't get him to agree to a fish and chips shop though.

3. I think I was dragged to every Laura Ashley shop in London - but wasn't allowed to go to the Tower of London or any other historical spot because I was a senior and the sophmores were going there.

4. I was threatened with being sent home for calling my Aunt Pat on the payphone. (Ok some of the girls were trying to hook up with guys they met on the sly ) I looked the principal in the eye and said -I"m 18 call my mom, give me my passport and Ticket because she is going to tell you to send me to Aunt Pat's or Mr. (Sister's soccer coach who had moved back to London) and I'll meet you on the plane. (once again proving that I am related to Dad's family. At least I didn't cause him to break any bones by chasing me out of a 3rd story window - Dad's cousins were hell raisers from day 1) 

[weeblewobble]

Now I figure every kid in the family pulled a stunt like the one Ted did up thread. Difference was we were all between 13 - 16, and we did it once. The adults said fine stay here - do not leave the hotel room or hell will rain down on your head. No ordering room service or you will wish for hell. Someone will swing by and pick up up for lunch. There were no repeat performances.

The difference being Ted really expected everybody to stay home because he was too miserable to go anywhere and what was worse, for a split second, my mom bought in and said, "OK, well, we can just watch a movie..."  I said, "Mom, there's a beautiful beach outside.  My kids live about 700 miles inland.  I am not keeping them inside on a beautiful day like this."  That snapped her out of it.

Ted was honestly shocked that we wanted to go anywhere without him. 

[Library Dragon]

One the challenges that DH had when we were first married was our differing styles.  We both  consider camping to be vacation h***  so that wasn't the problem.  It was his idea that we had to fill every second rather than just relaxing in a place and time.  It took us a few years to get to a medium point and that he could go do and I could sit on the beach and read. 

People often question how we can afford Europe every othe year or why I go to Vegas at least once a year.  I map out the costs of how we do Italy or France and that it's the same as they spend at Disney.  I grew up with DLand and Knotts Berry Farm as local hangouts, so its not my idea of a vacation.  I don't care if (general) you go, but don't make snide comments about how rich I must be or why isn't the USA good enough. I also only gamble about $20 on my penny slots, so no that trip isn't about the debauchery.

The other poster who is a Vegas fan I agree on all the great things there are to do. I just returned and the visit to The Valley of Fire remains a favorite destination.  As a foodie it's hard to beat:  French, Italian, sushi, etc. 

Family vacations always irritated me.  When I was in the Army and then as an Army spouse we would travel thousands of miles to visit family, but the local dictators couldn't drive 10 miles to see us.  We were always expected to do command performances.  Many of our Army, Air Force, and Navy friends have reported the same.

[elephantschild]

I  have a would-be vacation dictator in a co-worker. 

Now, he's Traveled. (Capitalization intentional.) And I think that's awesome. He's backpacked all over, been where angels fear to trend, seen some wonderful things. I think sometimes he plays up his stories for his less-Traveled co-workers, but I don't mind much. I just roll my eyes and smile when he doesn't see me.

Now, we are taking our boys to Disney World in a few months. This our first more-than-a-weekend family vacation with all four of us, and our first extended vacation in seven years. We've hoped and planned and saved for this for a long time. I am perfectly aware that it is one touristy place in a wonderful, big world. I still want to take them there. I know them, and I know Disney, and I know that they will be absolutely enthralled. Will we expand our vacation options when they're older? Sure, money permitting, but right now, we are looking ever-so-forward to taking them to Disney World.

Co-worker is appalled.  Don't we know that for the money we're spending, we could take them overseas? We could go to (historic site). We could visit (big city)! He is baffled that we could be so short-sighted.

We're still going to Disney.