Author Topic: When they just won't go away...  (Read 14620 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

VorFemme

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 13182
  • Strolls with scissors! Too tired to run today!
Re: When they just won't go away...
« Reply #30 on: April 11, 2013, 05:38:28 PM »


I have heard that some guys will leave, quickly, if you "warn them" that the sex change surgery hasn't been completed yet.

If they don't leave, I suppose you could say that you're still healing from the surgery......  Because getting rid of "that kind of guy" without pulling out a shotgun and "suggesting" that they leave you alone right NOW would give most people the idea that there is no such thing as a lie that isn't acceptable, if that ***** would just leave!

If there's *ANY* chance that there isn't sufficient backup, I would highly recommend avoiding this tactic.

The incidence where the prejudice against these subgroups have lead to sexual assault and/or violence is way higher than people realize.  A 'macho' person who looses face may seek to regain it by lashing out physically.

Ah, true...

Just because I made my first KNOWN gay (well, technically bisexual but same sex was their first preference) friend in college doesn't mean that other people will shrug off that information and quit harassing the uninterested-in-them-person that they are trying to make be interested in them by the power of sheer nagging.

In self defense, there is nothing wrong with surgically rearranging things to what you feel is "right" for you - and I grew up in an era when there weren't nearly as many violet acts against the "alternative lifestyles" - but that might have been because so few "came out of the closet" until I was older. 

That friend in college got caught in the wrong bar on a trip out of town by a police raid and it cost them their college scholarship at the local university - US military-related at a time even before "don't ask, don't tell".

After thinking about it - there are pitfalls to almost any attempt to ignore the cretins in the world.  Not having all the answers, I will now be quiet.
« Last Edit: April 11, 2013, 05:49:49 PM by VorFemme »
Let sleeping dragons be.......morning breath......need I say more?

thedudeabides

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 512
Re: When they just won't go away...
« Reply #31 on: April 11, 2013, 10:12:58 PM »


I have heard that some guys will leave, quickly, if you "warn them" that the sex change surgery hasn't been completed yet.

If they don't leave, I suppose you could say that you're still healing from the surgery......  Because getting rid of "that kind of guy" without pulling out a shotgun and "suggesting" that they leave you alone right NOW would give most people the idea that there is no such thing as a lie that isn't acceptable, if that ***** would just leave!

If there's *ANY* chance that there isn't sufficient backup, I would highly recommend avoiding this tactic.

The incidence where the prejudice against these subgroups have lead to sexual assault and/or violence is way higher than people realize.  A 'macho' person who looses face may seek to regain it by lashing out physically.

Ah, true...

Just because I made my first KNOWN gay (well, technically bisexual but same sex was their first preference) friend in college doesn't mean that other people will shrug off that information and quit harassing the uninterested-in-them-person that they are trying to make be interested in them by the power of sheer nagging.

In self defense, there is nothing wrong with surgically rearranging things to what you feel is "right" for you - and I grew up in an era when there weren't nearly as many violet acts against the "alternative lifestyles" - but that might have been because so few "came out of the closet" until I was older. 

That friend in college got caught in the wrong bar on a trip out of town by a police raid and it cost them their college scholarship at the local university - US military-related at a time even before "don't ask, don't tell".

After thinking about it - there are pitfalls to almost any attempt to ignore the cretins in the world.  Not having all the answers, I will now be quiet.

???

VorFemme

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 13182
  • Strolls with scissors! Too tired to run today!
Re: When they just won't go away...
« Reply #32 on: April 11, 2013, 11:58:26 PM »


I have heard that some guys will leave, quickly, if you "warn them" that the sex change surgery hasn't been completed yet.

If they don't leave, I suppose you could say that you're still healing from the surgery......  Because getting rid of "that kind of guy" without pulling out a shotgun and "suggesting" that they leave you alone right NOW would give most people the idea that there is no such thing as a lie that isn't acceptable, if that ***** would just leave!

If there's *ANY* chance that there isn't sufficient backup, I would highly recommend avoiding this tactic.

The incidence where the prejudice against these subgroups have lead to sexual assault and/or violence is way higher than people realize.  A 'macho' person who looses face may seek to regain it by lashing out physically.

Ah, true...

Just because I made my first KNOWN gay (well, technically bisexual but same sex was their first preference) friend in college doesn't mean that other people will shrug off that information and quit harassing the uninterested-in-them-person that they are trying to make be interested in them by the power of sheer nagging.

In self defense, there is nothing wrong with surgically rearranging things to what you feel is "right" for you - and I grew up in an era when there weren't nearly as many violet acts against the "alternative lifestyles" - but that might have been because so few "came out of the closet" until I was older. 

That friend in college got caught in the wrong bar on a trip out of town by a police raid and it cost them their college scholarship at the local university - US military-related at a time even before "don't ask, don't tell".

After thinking about it - there are pitfalls to almost any attempt to ignore the cretins in the world.  Not having all the answers, I will now be quiet.

???

Trying to retract previous advice because it might be VERY BAD in many cases......

While letting people that thought I was phrasing things in an unsupportive way to those who might actually be having surgery.....

Bad phrasing all around.

As a plump woman past the age of menopause, I have to admit that I don't get a lot of cretins making that kind of remark to me - so I have not had any practice in dealing with "that situation" lately. 
Let sleeping dragons be.......morning breath......need I say more?

perpetua

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 2212
Re: When they just won't go away...
« Reply #33 on: April 12, 2013, 04:15:22 AM »


I have heard that some guys will leave, quickly, if you "warn them" that the sex change surgery hasn't been completed yet.

If they don't leave, I suppose you could say that you're still healing from the surgery......  Because getting rid of "that kind of guy" without pulling out a shotgun and "suggesting" that they leave you alone right NOW would give most people the idea that there is no such thing as a lie that isn't acceptable, if that ***** would just leave!

If there's *ANY* chance that there isn't sufficient backup, I would highly recommend avoiding this tactic.

The incidence where the prejudice against these subgroups have lead to sexual assault and/or violence is way higher than people realize.  A 'macho' person who looses face may seek to regain it by lashing out physically.

Ah, true...

Just because I made my first KNOWN gay (well, technically bisexual but same sex was their first preference) friend in college doesn't mean that other people will shrug off that information and quit harassing the uninterested-in-them-person that they are trying to make be interested in them by the power of sheer nagging.

In self defense, there is nothing wrong with surgically rearranging things to what you feel is "right" for you - and I grew up in an era when there weren't nearly as many violet acts against the "alternative lifestyles" - but that might have been because so few "came out of the closet" until I was older. 

That friend in college got caught in the wrong bar on a trip out of town by a police raid and it cost them their college scholarship at the local university - US military-related at a time even before "don't ask, don't tell".

After thinking about it - there are pitfalls to almost any attempt to ignore the cretins in the world.  Not having all the answers, I will now be quiet.

Not to derail the thread, but you do realise that being gay and being transgender are not the same thing, right?


Auntie Mame

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1501
  • Live! Live! LIVE!
Re: When they just won't go away...
« Reply #34 on: April 12, 2013, 04:18:30 AM »


I have heard that some guys will leave, quickly, if you "warn them" that the sex change surgery hasn't been completed yet.

If they don't leave, I suppose you could say that you're still healing from the surgery......  Because getting rid of "that kind of guy" without pulling out a shotgun and "suggesting" that they leave you alone right NOW would give most people the idea that there is no such thing as a lie that isn't acceptable, if that ***** would just leave!

If there's *ANY* chance that there isn't sufficient backup, I would highly recommend avoiding this tactic.

The incidence where the prejudice against these subgroups have lead to sexual assault and/or violence is way higher than people realize.  A 'macho' person who looses face may seek to regain it by lashing out physically.

Ah, true...

Just because I made my first KNOWN gay (well, technically bisexual but same sex was their first preference) friend in college doesn't mean that other people will shrug off that information and quit harassing the uninterested-in-them-person that they are trying to make be interested in them by the power of sheer nagging.

In self defense, there is nothing wrong with surgically rearranging things to what you feel is "right" for you - and I grew up in an era when there weren't nearly as many violet acts against the "alternative lifestyles" - but that might have been because so few "came out of the closet" until I was older. 

That friend in college got caught in the wrong bar on a trip out of town by a police raid and it cost them their college scholarship at the local university - US military-related at a time even before "don't ask, don't tell".

After thinking about it - there are pitfalls to almost any attempt to ignore the cretins in the world.  Not having all the answers, I will now be quiet.

Not to derail the thread, but you do realise that being gay and being transgender are not the same thing, right?

I don't even have words for the turn this thread took.  I am beyond offended for all the beloved people in my life and all the ways the identify themselves.
Auntie needs fuel, black coffee and a side car.

thedudeabides

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 512
Re: When they just won't go away...
« Reply #35 on: April 12, 2013, 08:16:08 AM »


I have heard that some guys will leave, quickly, if you "warn them" that the sex change surgery hasn't been completed yet.

If they don't leave, I suppose you could say that you're still healing from the surgery......  Because getting rid of "that kind of guy" without pulling out a shotgun and "suggesting" that they leave you alone right NOW would give most people the idea that there is no such thing as a lie that isn't acceptable, if that ***** would just leave!

If there's *ANY* chance that there isn't sufficient backup, I would highly recommend avoiding this tactic.

The incidence where the prejudice against these subgroups have lead to sexual assault and/or violence is way higher than people realize.  A 'macho' person who looses face may seek to regain it by lashing out physically.

Ah, true...

Just because I made my first KNOWN gay (well, technically bisexual but same sex was their first preference) friend in college doesn't mean that other people will shrug off that information and quit harassing the uninterested-in-them-person that they are trying to make be interested in them by the power of sheer nagging.

In self defense, there is nothing wrong with surgically rearranging things to what you feel is "right" for you - and I grew up in an era when there weren't nearly as many violet acts against the "alternative lifestyles" - but that might have been because so few "came out of the closet" until I was older. 

That friend in college got caught in the wrong bar on a trip out of town by a police raid and it cost them their college scholarship at the local university - US military-related at a time even before "don't ask, don't tell".

After thinking about it - there are pitfalls to almost any attempt to ignore the cretins in the world.  Not having all the answers, I will now be quiet.

???

Trying to retract previous advice because it might be VERY BAD in many cases......

While letting people that thought I was phrasing things in an unsupportive way to those who might actually be having surgery.....

Bad phrasing all around.

As a plump woman past the age of menopause, I have to admit that I don't get a lot of cretins making that kind of remark to me - so I have not had any practice in dealing with "that situation" lately.

I'm just confused as to why it needed anything more than, "You're right. I'm sorry." What you wrote just compounds the initial offensiveness and dangerousness of your first post. And I say that as a man who doesn't exactly run into this situation often.

VorFemme

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 13182
  • Strolls with scissors! Too tired to run today!
Re: When they just won't go away...
« Reply #36 on: April 12, 2013, 05:32:45 PM »
You're probably phrasing things better than I am.

I have a tendency to over-explain, I'm told.

So, simplest response I can think of.

I didn't think my response through very well,  it was very bad advice for these situations.  I'm sorry.
« Last Edit: April 12, 2013, 07:03:31 PM by VorFemme »
Let sleeping dragons be.......morning breath......need I say more?

Moray

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1869
  • My hovercraft is full of eels!
Re: When they just won't go away...
« Reply #37 on: April 12, 2013, 05:49:44 PM »
I appreciate your apology. It was bad advice for all situations.
Utah

lurkerwisp

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 110
Re: When they just won't go away...
« Reply #38 on: April 24, 2013, 03:43:44 PM »
So... back on topic and speaking of violence.

Be very very careful in these situations.  If the guy (I say guy, because let's face it, it usually is) is testing your boundaries and starts to do so physically - he may very well be a predator looking to attack you for either non-consensual scrabble or plain old robbery.

Putting in earbuds or otherwise looking distracted are generally ways to clue someone of this type on to the fact that you're not aware of your surroundings.  This is the kind of thing they're looking for in victims.

Similarly, being too polite and letting someone into your personal bubble tells them that you will not fight back.  If your creepymeter alarms are going off, be the prickly person who tells strangers to get lost.  It's safer than being the friendly person dragged into a ditch and murdered.  You don't have to be nice to strangers who don't respect your boundaries.  You don't have to be nice to anyone who doesn't respect your boundaries.

Don't act scared, act alert.  If they keep after you, reach into a purse or pocket as if going for pepper spray or a gun and leave your hand there.  Duck into an open business with security cameras if possible.  Above all, be safety-minded instead of just etiquette-minded.  Sure there will be false alarms sometimes, but that's much better than letting them close and having something awful happen to you.