I just don't know....

[Virg]

I'm also of the opinion that some small consumable gift would be a nice thing to do if not required by etiquette.  That said, I'd also ask DD's Dad ahead of the trip if he thought that going out to dinner would be reasonable because you want to offer it, making it clear that you'd be comfortable with the three of them going without you if that would be better (assuming you'd be okay with that as an offer, of course).  That takes away the risk of offending but still lets you offer if you wish it.

Virg

[*inviteseller]

Wow!  What a great mom you are!  If you choose to take them up on the gracious offer, I would find things to do by yourself outside of the house so she is not relying on you too much for comfort and not having a visit with her other family.  And I think a nice hostess gift might be the offer of staying with the kids for a night so he and his partner could have an adult night out.  Have a pizza/movie party with the kids and they get to go out and relax !

[Hmmmmm]

I think you are a great mom to be going to this trouble and expense. I personally believe the least DD's dad should be doing is offering you free accomodations.  I think you should definately take them up on their offer. Since it is a separate accomodations, it's not like you'll be sharing a bathroom with the family.

I agree with the PP that making yourself as scarce as possible is a good idea. I hope where your going has something to do that interests you. 

I'm of mixed feelings about offering to make dinner or sit with the kids.  The purpose of the visit is for your DD to get time with her father and his family. I think your offering either of these suggestions would really be based on your relationship with your Ex and his new wife.

I personally like the idea of a consumable or flowers. But I think I'd wait to send either until you returned home.

[kudeebee]

I would leave a thank you note behind after I left with a gift card enclosed to a local restaurant.  That way it is perfectly clear that you don't expect to be going along to dinner (as you will already be gone).

I wouldn't cook dinner in the home nor take them out to dinner while there.  I would probably try to stay as separate as possible during my stay.

I think you are both being very generous to each other (you flying over w/DD and him with the apartment), and your DD can only benefit from it.  How lovely!

This is what I agree with as well.  I would not intrude on his time with dd at all.

[Mikayla]

I would leave a thank you note behind after I left with a gift card enclosed to a local restaurant.  That way it is perfectly clear that you don't expect to be going along to dinner (as you will already be gone).

I wouldn't cook dinner in the home nor take them out to dinner while there.  I would probably try to stay as separate as possible during my stay.

I think you are both being very generous to each other (you flying over w/DD and him with the apartment), and your DD can only benefit from it.  How lovely!

This is what I would do.

Seconded.  There's something about dinner, whether OP cooks it or takes the whole group out together, that has "minefield" written all over it.