Author Topic: Another baby dilima  (Read 4656 times)

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TootsNYC

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Re: Another baby dilima
« Reply #30 on: March 14, 2013, 10:46:47 AM »
I think that you have the right to do whatever you want. But..

I'm curious as to why you even want to have a "meet the baby" party with your mother's side of the family, when it sounds like you really aren't that close with them and they don't invite you to family events? And, if their opinion of gift giving events for second babies is similar to your mother's, they're likely to just see you as gift-grabby?

Because although you say you don't expect gifts, you kind of blew that with the "but diapers are always welcome, if anyone asks." I think that may be what set your mom off with the "2nd showers aren't done" comments.

Your comments about the limelight seem off to me, too.. you would really leave your mother's wedding reception if your baby wasn't getting as much attention as some others, even though you say you don't want the baby circulated around?

I too think you're giving your mom too much "head space," and I also think you're worrying about things that haven't even happened.

I find that I sometimes start thinking in cliches and stereotypes, esp. with extended family. And then the reality is actually quite pleasant.

Have the "meet the baby"; don't invite your mom's side. Invite friends, etc. Enjoy the day.

Take the baby to the wedding only if *you* would like to introduce the baby to your mom's family, and only if YOU want to deal with wrangling the baby.

Your mom is going to be really busy at the wedding--brides are. They're getting dressed, going through the ceremony, walking down the aisle, getting pictures taken. They're not *available* to swan around the room w/ the baby in hand. You'll have an hour or more when your mom isn't even there. So go a little early, be proactive about taking the baby over to meet people. Then later, when your mom is free, the baby will have already met people.

but otherwise--don't worry about this in advance.

BeagleMommy

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Re: Another baby dilima
« Reply #31 on: March 14, 2013, 01:07:25 PM »
Have the "meet the baby" party.  It sounds lovely.  If your mother's side of the family doesn't show up, so be it.  It sounds as though there will be a number of people who care about you and your family in attendance.  Are you really missing anything if these people don't show up?  Sure, it is hurtful that your mother/her family don't respect and show they care about you, but it sounds like you've been dealing with this for a while.

Bring the baby to the wedding ONLY if you and your DH want.  An outdoor wedding in the summer will be difficult on a weeks old infant (not to mention his parents).  Your mother doesn't get a say in whether or not you bring him.  You say there will be drama either way so let it be because you did what you thought best for your new bundle.

MrTango

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Re: Another baby dilima
« Reply #32 on: March 14, 2013, 01:31:20 PM »
Another reason to have the your own Meet the Baby event:

You can host a gathering at which you control the guest list, you control the location and timing, and when something goes wrong (baby spits up, has a diaper accident, gets fussy, etc) it's your space and you don't have to worry about making a mess at someone else's house/event.

JeanFromBNA

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Re: Another baby dilima
« Reply #33 on: March 14, 2013, 03:04:35 PM »
I don't see anything wrong with a meet-the-baby party.  I'm old school, and think gifts should never be mentioned on invitations, even to discourage guests.

Re:  Your Mother's reception.  Why bring the baby at all?  It seems like that could cause a lot of stress for you, regardless.  This is the Bride and Groom's event, and they should be the center of attention.  That's your excuse for not bringing the baby.  Don't discuss this with your Mother ahead of time, and save yourself some grief.

Gyburc

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Re: Another baby dilima
« Reply #34 on: March 15, 2013, 06:36:23 AM »
I agree with the PPs - there's nothing wrong with having a party to introduce your baby, in fact I think it's a lovely idea.  :)

Regarding your mother's wedding reception, I think you have an automatic 'out'. Your baby will be very young still and you have no idea what the weather will be like, or the conditions at the venue.

I think there are far too many imponderables for you to make any firm plans - which means that you don't have any option but to decline to bring her. You could also cite your doctor's advice (even if there isn't any!) as learningtofly suggested.

(((LilacGirl))), and I hope everything goes well!
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