Dining Alone

[Sharnita]

That was my guess - the exchange was louder because the patron had difficulty hearing, so the reviewer was aware of what was happening.

[Mikayla]

I guess this is a minority view, but it's never struck me as odd if I'm alone and I'm told something like "during peak times, we seat single people at the bar".  I don't see this as rude; it's a business decision.  And I loathe eating at bars!  But if I'm there for the food, I'd do it.  I'd only feel second class if I was treated that way by whomever served me.

[Sharnita]

I would say more specifically that I am there to enjoy the food. That would mean sitting somewhere that didn't make me uncomfortable.

[Veronica]

Voting with my dollars and my feet is my right,  not shutting up about it is a great way to make sure that others don't get the same shoddy treatment.

You absolutely have the right to do this!  I was just stating my perspective that a restaurant managing the flow of patrons is not, in my opinion, treating single diners shoddily, and depending on the restaurant, they are not catering to single diners anyway so while they might not be pleased that you are unhappy with their practices, they are not likely to change them. 

For the record,  used to travel for business several times per month and would often dine out alone. I never got the sense that I was being treated shoddily because I was alone.

  And other people feel differently.   That does not make them wrong ( or you) it's likely just a difference in how the restaurant approaches it.  There are a good many restaurants that I have been to that the difference in service for singles and groups is noticeable ( longer waits to order, no drink refills, not offering the dessert[or wine] menu, ect) .  If you haven't experienced it _ I want to know where you  are going because the ones I have been to have been blatant about it- and it starts at the door, with the way folks are seated. 
   

I'm with TurtleDove on this.  I've had to travel a lot for business and would frequently eat lunch and dinner out alone.  I can't recall ever having an issue with waitstaff treating me badly because of my single status.  Could it be this is something you go in expecting to happen and therefore anything that happens you assume occurred because you are single?

[Sharnita]

No, it couldn't. I always expect good/fair service and usually get it. Sometimes I don't because the waiter is having a bad day, because the kitchen is screwing up or because somenody really is bad at the job. And sometimes it is because I am alone.

[snowdragon]

Voting with my dollars and my feet is my right,  not shutting up about it is a great way to make sure that others don't get the same shoddy treatment.

You absolutely have the right to do this!  I was just stating my perspective that a restaurant managing the flow of patrons is not, in my opinion, treating single diners shoddily, and depending on the restaurant, they are not catering to single diners anyway so while they might not be pleased that you are unhappy with their practices, they are not likely to change them. 

For the record,  used to travel for business several times per month and would often dine out alone. I never got the sense that I was being treated shoddily because I was alone.

  And other people feel differently.   That does not make them wrong ( or you) it's likely just a difference in how the restaurant approaches it.  There are a good many restaurants that I have been to that the difference in service for singles and groups is noticeable ( longer waits to order, no drink refills, not offering the dessert[or wine] menu, ect) .  If you haven't experienced it _ I want to know where you  are going because the ones I have been to have been blatant about it- and it starts at the door, with the way folks are seated. 
   

I'm with TurtleDove on this.  I've had to travel a lot for business and would frequently eat lunch and dinner out alone.  I can't recall ever having an issue with waitstaff treating me badly because of my single status.  Could it be this is something you go in expecting to happen and therefore anything that happens you assume occurred because you are single?

No, it couldn't. I always expect good/fair service and usually get it. Sometimes I don't because the waiter is having a bad day, because the kitchen is screwing up or because somenody really is bad at the job. And sometimes it is because I am alone.

What Sharnita said... If I go to a Restaurant, with a group after class and get great service, and the next day, after class go alone ( I hate cooking at midnight when I get home) and get treated crappily, it's not an unreasonable extrapolation to say it's because I am dining solo the second time. When the pattern repeats - there's no doubt.   If I walk in and get told I am not allowed to sit at a table because I am alone, it may be a business model, but it's still saying I don't desrve the same level of service/comfort because I am alone.  ( or a new one that happened last night if I am eating and I get told that I need to move because a larger group needs my table, what am I supposed to think then?) If I am passed over for tables appropriate to my party size so they can then push them together for a larger group, I am being told that my money is not worth as much or that I am valued less as a customer.
   I spend a LOT of time in restaurants, I am willing to give folks the benefit of the doubt - to a point but when it becomes a pattern or it's spelled out for me, that  doubt goes away.  Part of the resaon I spend so much time in restaurants is that I am scouting restaurants for my aunt's 99th birthday - if I don't like the way I get treated, the restaurant is crossed off the list. Simple as that, if you can't handle treating one person decently; you can't handle a larger group.  The problem with alienating people who dine solo as "a business model" is you never know if they are potential regular customers, looking for some place to take clients or looking for a place for milestone event - loose the one person and you loose the rest.  Along with them going around and telling everyone who asks that your places has bad service.
 

[stargazer]

Voting with my dollars and my feet is my right,  not shutting up about it is a great way to make sure that others don't get the same shoddy treatment.

You absolutely have the right to do this!  I was just stating my perspective that a restaurant managing the flow of patrons is not, in my opinion, treating single diners shoddily, and depending on the restaurant, they are not catering to single diners anyway so while they might not be pleased that you are unhappy with their practices, they are not likely to change them. 

For the record,  used to travel for business several times per month and would often dine out alone. I never got the sense that I was being treated shoddily because I was alone.

  And other people feel differently.   That does not make them wrong ( or you) it's likely just a difference in how the restaurant approaches it.  There are a good many restaurants that I have been to that the difference in service for singles and groups is noticeable ( longer waits to order, no drink refills, not offering the dessert[or wine] menu, ect) .  If you haven't experienced it _ I want to know where you  are going because the ones I have been to have been blatant about it- and it starts at the door, with the way folks are seated. 
   

I'm with TurtleDove on this.  I've had to travel a lot for business and would frequently eat lunch and dinner out alone.  I can't recall ever having an issue with waitstaff treating me badly because of my single status.  Could it be this is something you go in expecting to happen and therefore anything that happens you assume occurred because you are single?

No, it couldn't. I always expect good/fair service and usually get it. Sometimes I don't because the waiter is having a bad day, because the kitchen is screwing up or because somenody really is bad at the job. And sometimes it is because I am alone.

What Sharnita said... If I go to a Restaurant, with a group after class and get great service, and the next day, after class go alone ( I hate cooking at midnight when I get home) and get treated crappily, it's not an unreasonable extrapolation to say it's because I am dining solo the second time. When the pattern repeats - there's no doubt.   If I walk in and get told I am not allowed to sit at a table because I am alone, it may be a business model, but it's still saying I don't desrve the same level of service/comfort because I am alone.  ( or a new one that happened last night if I am eating and I get told that I need to move because a larger group needs my table, what am I supposed to think then?) If I am passed over for tables appropriate to my party size so they can then push them together for a larger group, I am being told that my money is not worth as much or that I am valued less as a customer.
   I spend a LOT of time in restaurants, I am willing to give folks the benefit of the doubt - to a point but when it becomes a pattern or it's spelled out for me, that  doubt goes away.  Part of the resaon I spend so much time in restaurants is that I am scouting restaurants for my aunt's 99th birthday - if I don't like the way I get treated, the restaurant is crossed off the list. Simple as that, if you can't handle treating one person decently; you can't handle a larger group.  The problem with alienating people who dine solo as "a business model" is you never know if they are potential regular customers, looking for some place to take clients or looking for a place for milestone event - loose the one person and you loose the rest.  Along with them going around and telling everyone who asks that your places has bad service.

I'm sorry, I am confused.  What kind of restaurants are you going to at midnight that are so packed that you cannot get a table?  I've dined as a single patron many times (at normal hours mind you) and never had an issue.   

Also, they told you to move when you have a full leg cast?  I've been ASKED to move, but never told, and it seems odd they would ask you when you're in a cast.  Did you move?

[CluelessBride]

<snip>

What Sharnita said... If I go to a Restaurant, with a group after class and get great service, and the next day, after class go alone ( I hate cooking at midnight when I get home) and get treated crappily, it's not an unreasonable extrapolation to say it's because I am dining solo the second time. When the pattern repeats - there's no doubt.   If I walk in and get told I am not allowed to sit at a table because I am alone, it may be a business model, but it's still saying I don't desrve the same level of service/comfort because I am alone.  ( or a new one that happened last night if I am eating and I get told that I need to move because a larger group needs my table, what am I supposed to think then?) If I am passed over for tables appropriate to my party size so they can then push them together for a larger group, I am being told that my money is not worth as much or that I am valued less as a customer.
   I spend a LOT of time in restaurants, I am willing to give folks the benefit of the doubt - to a point but when it becomes a pattern or it's spelled out for me, that  doubt goes away.  Part of the resaon I spend so much time in restaurants is that I am scouting restaurants for my aunt's 99th birthday - if I don't like the way I get treated, the restaurant is crossed off the list. Simple as that, if you can't handle treating one person decently; you can't handle a larger group.  The problem with alienating people who dine solo as "a business model" is you never know if they are potential regular customers, looking for some place to take clients or looking for a place for milestone event - loose the one person and you loose the rest.  Along with them going around and telling everyone who asks that your places has bad service.
 

For what it's worth, I've had the bolded happen to me when I was with a group of about 10. It was clear that it was an issue with table management/restaurant organization and not because they disliked our party. In our case they also kept us waiting nearly an hour before finally seating us (we had a reservation). And service was otherwise also lousy and slow. But I think declining to move is fine (we did).

I have inconsistent service all the time at restaurants. It's fine to decide not to go there because you didn't like the service (even if it was only once).  But having great service on day 1 when you are with a group and poor service on day 2 when you are alone proves absolutely nothing. Honestly, to me the link is so weak it doesn't even suggest anything. There are about a billion different additional variables that come into play (some servers are better than others, sometimes an individual server has an off day, sometimes there's a crazy crisis in the kitchen, maybe the incompetent manager is there one day, maybe there is a particularly belligerent party, time of day, day of the week etc). Now if you go to the same restaurant 20 times (half with a group and half alone), always at about the same time and same type of day and always with the same server but note far superior service when you are with a group, then maybe you are on to something.


 

[snowdragon]

Voting with my dollars and my feet is my right,  not shutting up about it is a great way to make sure that others don't get the same shoddy treatment.

You absolutely have the right to do this!  I was just stating my perspective that a restaurant managing the flow of patrons is not, in my opinion, treating single diners shoddily, and depending on the restaurant, they are not catering to single diners anyway so while they might not be pleased that you are unhappy with their practices, they are not likely to change them. 

For the record,  used to travel for business several times per month and would often dine out alone. I never got the sense that I was being treated shoddily because I was alone.

  And other people feel differently.   That does not make them wrong ( or you) it's likely just a difference in how the restaurant approaches it.  There are a good many restaurants that I have been to that the difference in service for singles and groups is noticeable ( longer waits to order, no drink refills, not offering the dessert[or wine] menu, ect) .  If you haven't experienced it _ I want to know where you  are going because the ones I have been to have been blatant about it- and it starts at the door, with the way folks are seated. 
   

I'm with TurtleDove on this.  I've had to travel a lot for business and would frequently eat lunch and dinner out alone.  I can't recall ever having an issue with waitstaff treating me badly because of my single status.  Could it be this is something you go in expecting to happen and therefore anything that happens you assume occurred because you are single?

No, it couldn't. I always expect good/fair service and usually get it. Sometimes I don't because the waiter is having a bad day, because the kitchen is screwing up or because somenody really is bad at the job. And sometimes it is because I am alone.

What Sharnita said... If I go to a Restaurant, with a group after class and get great service, and the next day, after class go alone ( I hate cooking at midnight when I get home) and get treated crappily, it's not an unreasonable extrapolation to say it's because I am dining solo the second time. When the pattern repeats - there's no doubt.   If I walk in and get told I am not allowed to sit at a table because I am alone, it may be a business model, but it's still saying I don't desrve the same level of service/comfort because I am alone.  ( or a new one that happened last night if I am eating and I get told that I need to move because a larger group needs my table, what am I supposed to think then?) If I am passed over for tables appropriate to my party size so they can then push them together for a larger group, I am being told that my money is not worth as much or that I am valued less as a customer.
   I spend a LOT of time in restaurants, I am willing to give folks the benefit of the doubt - to a point but when it becomes a pattern or it's spelled out for me, that  doubt goes away.  Part of the resaon I spend so much time in restaurants is that I am scouting restaurants for my aunt's 99th birthday - if I don't like the way I get treated, the restaurant is crossed off the list. Simple as that, if you can't handle treating one person decently; you can't handle a larger group.  The problem with alienating people who dine solo as "a business model" is you never know if they are potential regular customers, looking for some place to take clients or looking for a place for milestone event - loose the one person and you loose the rest.  Along with them going around and telling everyone who asks that your places has bad service.

I'm sorry, I am confused.  What kind of restaurants are you going to at midnight that are so packed that you cannot get a table?  I've dined as a single patron many times (at normal hours mind you) and never had an issue.   

Also, they told you to move when you have a full leg cast?  I've been ASKED to move, but never told, and it seems odd they would ask you when you're in a cast.  Did you move?

  Here places close late... any place with a bar is likely to be closing when the bar does - at 4am.  And this particular place is close to 3 universities, so packed til closing is not unusual. As for moving, I had the rest of my food boxed up, put it in a bag to carry it  and left.  I won't be back.

[LadyR]

I'm sorry, I am confused.  What kind of restaurants are you going to at midnight that are so packed that you cannot get a table?  I've dined as a single patron many times (at normal hours mind you) and never had an issue.   

There's an all night poutine place here that DH and I used to frequent (still go occasionally, but we no longer live nearby) and we'd go at midnight after he got off work and it was always packed because of the bar crowd.

[kherbert05]

I had the we have to move you to make room for a larger party happen to me once - but boy was it handled right
1. The manager came over to me
2. He explained that they already had a babyshower in one room and a birthday party in the other - and had to seat this party (who came in without reservation because normally the place is very slow on a Sunday afternoon) in the room I was in because of fire code.
3. They didn't really need my table but I was going to be crowded by the group that was largely teenage boys (a baseball team from the uniforms)
4. Would I be more comfortable moving to the booth opposite
5. He insisted on comping my whole meal

[delabela]

I had the we have to move you to make room for a larger party happen to me once - but boy was it handled right
1. The manager came over to me
2. He explained that they already had a babyshower in one room and a birthday party in the other - and had to seat this party (who came in without reservation because normally the place is very slow on a Sunday afternoon) in the room I was in because of fire code.
3. They didn't really need my table but I was going to be crowded by the group that was largely teenage boys (a baseball team from the uniforms)
4. Would I be more comfortable moving to the booth opposite
5. He insisted on comping my whole meal

That's a heck of a manager!  Good for him.

[miranova]

I had the we have to move you to make room for a larger party happen to me once - but boy was it handled right
1. The manager came over to me
2. He explained that they already had a babyshower in one room and a birthday party in the other - and had to seat this party (who came in without reservation because normally the place is very slow on a Sunday afternoon) in the room I was in because of fire code.
3. They didn't really need my table but I was going to be crowded by the group that was largely teenage boys (a baseball team from the uniforms)
4. Would I be more comfortable moving to the booth opposite
5. He insisted on comping my whole meal

And THAT is the way to do it. 

That is the only way I can see that it would be ok to ask someone to move to make room for another party.  A combination of circumstances beyond their control and compensating you for the inconvenience.  I'd go back to that restaurant.

[Hmmmmm]

I had the we have to move you to make room for a larger party happen to me once - but boy was it handled right
1. The manager came over to me
2. He explained that they already had a babyshower in one room and a birthday party in the other - and had to seat this party (who came in without reservation because normally the place is very slow on a Sunday afternoon) in the room I was in because of fire code.
3. They didn't really need my table but I was going to be crowded by the group that was largely teenage boys (a baseball team from the uniforms)
4. Would I be more comfortable moving to the booth opposite
5. He insisted on comping my whole meal

That's a heck of a manager!  Good for him.

I agree. We were at a favorite pizza restaurant with a group of 7. They had put 2 four tops together for us. After we had received our drinks, the manager came and asked if we'd be willing to move to a different table because a party of 12 had come in and our area was the only one that allowed them to put 3 4 tops together. We were happy to oblige and he comped the appetizers we had ordered.

Done well, you've made to groups of customers happy. Done poorly and you've lost a customer.

[Lady Snowdon]

I've noticed that the posters who are saying that they've never experienced problems or different service when dining alone have mentioned being on business trips.  I think this makes a difference.  Hotel restaurants, or restaurants that cater to business people on trips, are likely to be more welcoming of single diners, because more of their client base consists of people who dine by themselves.  A restaurant that's not in that business doesn't necessarily think of single diners as being part of their desired clients. 

I had the experience of being treated differently due to being single just last night.  I went to a seafood chain restaurant (I love salmon, and being in the Midwest, a non chain fish restaurant can get pricey!).  I was told it would be 10-15 minutes.  30 minutes later, after at least three other parties who came after me were seated, I was led to a 4-top, so obviously they weren't waiting for the perfect 2-top to open up.  I could hear and see my server visiting all of her tables, except me.  I waited for at least five minutes for her to even come over to my table.  It then took her about 10 minutes to come back with my lemonade and take my order!  From what I could tell, she had about four/five other tables, and probably spent two to three times longer at those tables than she did with me.  At the end of my meal, she tried to give me my bill without asking if I wanted dessert, which I did want, and was visibly irritated with me when I told her that.  Everyone else got a smile and a happy tone of voice when they gave orders.  I got a huuuuge sigh and "Well, I'll have to rerun this, you know".  It doesn't take much brainwork to conclude that I wasn't as welcome in her section because I was a single.