Easter dinner quandary, update #11

[lowspark]

I can understand your mother's disappointment. I love hosting and wouldn't want to give it up for particular holidays/events. Maybe you can suggest she have a dinner at her house at some point in the future, for another holiday or "just because". If she really loves hosting, it will give her another opportunity to do so in the near future and maybe lessen the sting of giving it up for Easter.

[snowdragon]

I would drive them but make it clear that the car leaves when I am ready. Yes, they may be tired but in my family there are people I ONLY see at Easter ( They live in Spain, Poland and the MidEast) I am not missing seeing them because someone wants to go home. Since they are not doing the driving it will not matter if they fall asleep in the car. It would matter greatly to me if I missed seeing folks for the only time they come home all year.
   If mom wants to host, why not have her prepare a room where these guests can rest, be quiet, ect. If it so important that these folks be driven and their schedule not be interrupted, why not invite the daughter ?

[WillyNilly]

I think a way to soften the blow might be, at some point during the meal, to stand and lift your glass and make a little toast thanking your mother for organizing the meal and getting you all together every year. Even though you are hosting, giving her that nod of recognition might really make her feel a lot better about passing the torch.

[Coley]

I would drive them but make it clear that the car leaves when I am ready. Yes, they may be tired but in my family there are people I ONLY see at Easter ( They live in Spain, Poland and the MidEast) I am not missing seeing them because someone wants to go home. Since they are not doing the driving it will not matter if they fall asleep in the car. It would matter greatly to me if I missed seeing folks for the only time they come home all year.
   If mom wants to host, why not have her prepare a room where these guests can rest, be quiet, ect. If it so important that these folks be driven and their schedule not be interrupted, why not invite the daughter ?

The daughter doesn't live here. She lives several states away. She is counting on us to ensure her dad and stepmom's well being. I see my family numerous times each year. That coupled with the fact that I have known this family for more than 40 years (almost my entire life) means that I don't view their needs to be an imposition in the slightest. We may not be related by blood or marriage, but their family has been a part of my family for many years.

In any case, I am happy to have Easter dinner at our house in order to accommodate everyone's needs, and I am pleased that my mother has agreed.

[Coley]

I think a way to soften the blow might be, at some point during the meal, to stand and lift your glass and make a little toast thanking your mother for organizing the meal and getting you all together every year. Even though you are hosting, giving her that nod of recognition might really make her feel a lot better about passing the torch.

This is a great idea. Thank you for suggesting it!

[mstigerlily]

I like the toast idea. I was also thinking that depending on what dish your mom brings you could make that a special or highlighted dish. For example, if she brings deviled eggs, maybe use that as part of the centerpiece? Or if it's a salad, serve it as a separate salad course instead of with dinner.
Then you can say something along the lines of "Mom brought her famous Easter tuna-egg-Peep suprise! It just wouldn't be Easter without it!" (although if she did make a tuna-egg-peep casserole you'd probably be lying through your teeth.... )

[Coley]

I like the toast idea. I was also thinking that depending on what dish your mom brings you could make that a special or highlighted dish. For example, if she brings deviled eggs, maybe use that as part of the centerpiece? Or if it's a salad, serve it as a separate salad course instead of with dinner.
Then you can say something along the lines of "Mom brought her famous Easter tuna-egg-Peep suprise! It just wouldn't be Easter without it!" (although if she did make a tuna-egg-peep casserole you'd probably be lying through your teeth.... )

This is another great idea, thanks! LOL about tuna-egg-Peep-casserole. 

[bopper]

I would see if you could frame it more as "Why don't you host at my house" rather than "I will take hosting away from you."

[Lynda_34]

I can totally see a tuna egg peep salad.

You could make deviled eggs using the tuna as part of the filler then take the little peep heads and place each one on top of a deviled egg. 

The headless peeps could be minced (use a pair of scissors to cut them)  and add to the rest of the deviled egg filler.  This could be made into a cheese ball by mixing with some cream cheese,rolling it into a ball and rolling the ball in sesame seeds. I am so good, and I've not even had a coffee yet.

On a serious note please update us after Easter.

[magicdomino]

I was thinking of deviled eggs with extra tuna filling forming little Peep heads.  That's not a cassarole, though.

[Lynda_34]

That's a good idea too. but I'm not that skilled at making little peep heads.  However I'm quite good at eating them and putting them in the microwave which could be an after dinner activity just before the Easter Egg hunt.

Also, OP, I am sympathetic to your dilemma and do hope you can make this transition within your family as painless as possible.  You're heart is in the right place, I still miss the holiday gatherings at my parents' place and my mother's been gone 20 years, my stepfather 12.

[DavidH]

When I moved quite far away and had to deal with the coming home for Thanksgiving after my parents downsized, I suggested that I could host.  I think one thing that made it easier for my mother to agree was suggesting that if she really wanted to cook and host, she could do that at my home, which is nearer to the rest of the family.  She ended up coming a few days early, it was basically her Thanksgiving in my house, and the staying a few days later. 

If the issue is really about location, you could always invite her to come early, maybe even Saturday and help or lead the preparation to make it a joint hosting rather than her feeling that it's been taken away from her.

[chibichan]

I can totally see a tuna egg peep salad.

You could make deviled eggs using the tuna as part of the filler then take the little peep heads and place each one on top of a deviled egg. 

The headless peeps could be minced (use a pair of scissors to cut them)  and add to the rest of the deviled egg filler.  This could be made into a cheese ball by mixing with some cream cheese,rolling it into a ball and rolling the ball in sesame seeds. I am so good, and I've not even had a coffee yet.

On a serious note please update us after Easter.

There is something about this sentance that alternately amuses and horrifies me .

GAHHH...Mental image !!! Get out of my head !

[mstigerlily]

I was just reading the food dictator thread about people looking at someone else's food and doing whole stick your finger down your throat and make gagging noises thing, and now I come here and read this and am tempted to do it myself! (but I won't, that wouldn't be very polite....)

[katycoo]

When I moved quite far away and had to deal with the coming home for Thanksgiving after my parents downsized, I suggested that I could host.  I think one thing that made it easier for my mother to agree was suggesting that if she really wanted to cook and host, she could do that at my home, which is nearer to the rest of the family.  She ended up coming a few days early, it was basically her Thanksgiving in my house, and the staying a few days later. 

If the issue is really about location, you could always invite her to come early, maybe even Saturday and help or lead the preparation to make it a joint hosting rather than her feeling that it's been taken away from her.

This was my thought as well. Make sure she knows you're happy to do everything if she'd like to just be a guest, but that you thoguht you detected some disappointment in her voice so she's welcome to take over your kitchen and 'host' the event to whatever extent she'd like, if she'd like.