Etiquette School is in session! > "I'm afraid that won't be possible."

do you think she's being a bridezilla?

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Jenny13:

--- Quote from: TurtleDove on March 12, 2013, 02:05:55 PM ---
--- Quote from: Jenny13 on March 12, 2013, 01:38:13 PM ---She then said "make sure it fits and is comfortable" I stated "Well it isn't the correct size as they did not have my size and the dress that I order will be taken in in a few areas as I planned on losing some left over baby weight prior to the wedding".  She sent this back to me (mind you it was November) "I really don't have time to deal with dress issues, if you plan on losing weight then you need to do it sooner than later so we don't run into last minute issues".  I was really upset by this...who was she to tell me I cannot lose weight and if I do then I need to do it NOW!?!? I simply texted her back saying all was good and I would have my dress taylored, no big deal. 

--- End quote ---

I agree this person is in the wrong, but I think you should not mention that you intend to lose weight if you do not want people to comment on it.  I think if you had stuck to your final comment that you would have the dress tailored you could have avoided the hard feelings.  Again, I think the bride is wrong, but I understand where she is coming from being concerned that a dress ordered based on a plan that might not come to fruition could result in a last minute "my dress doesn't fit" fiasco. I would do my best to not take what she says or does personally.  You didn't like her before, you are not likely to grow to like her now, she will presumably always be a part of your life if the friend is a part of your life and married to her, so just accept that she's rude and do what you can to not allow her personality flaws to negatively affect you.

--- End quote ---

Thanks, TurtleDove! That's pretty much what I'm doing now. I've known her for five years already and she hasn't changed much at all.  I told DH that I cannot take her being rude anymore (She's taken it even further) I texted her and told her that I will be getting my dress this month as previously stated and further said weddings are stressful enough regarding the little things and there is no need to micromanage adults...gulp...I couldn't help it.  It's now up to Dh and our friend to work this out.

SiotehCat:
I do not think she is being a bridezilla.

I would remind her that she gave DH until April to get his tux, but that is the only thing that I think she is wrong about.

You admit that you are late in ordering the dress. I don't think she is unreasonable to want it done now. Even if her wedding isnt until June.

How can your DH defend you on that, when you admit that you are late in ordering it?

Its her wedding and I don't think she is wrong to want to have everything taken care of.

Only me:
Hi

So I'm wondering what you two are going to say if the friend mentions that his OH wants to know if you want out of the bridal party?

Onlyme

JenJay:
I would reply "I am unable to order the dress until I get paid on the 25th. If you need me to step down I understand. Let me know what you'd like me to do."

It's okay that she wants to get things done asap, and it's okay that you can't afford to do them when she wants. It may not work out for you to be a bridesmaid and it's better to find out now rather than after you've invested money.

Jenny13:

--- Quote from: SiotehCat on March 12, 2013, 02:12:22 PM ---I do not think she is being a bridezilla.

I would remind her that she gave DH until April to get his tux, but that is the only thing that I think she is wrong about.

You admit that you are late in ordering the dress. I don't think she is unreasonable to want it done now. Even if her wedding isnt until June.

How can your DH defend you on that, when you admit that you are late in ordering it?

Its her wedding and I don't think she is wrong to want to have everything taken care of.

--- End quote ---


I worded it wrong perhaps in my op.  I'm not actually "late" pesay in ordering my dress, she's just been asking about it since December. She also gave me a cut off date of April 30th (everything needs to be done by that date) so why is she texting me that last night when I already told her it would be ordered this month regardless.

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