Voicemail etiquette

[oceanus]

In a work/situation, saying “I hate voice mail” and refusing to use it would most likely not be tolerated (same as “I hate email”.)

As far as a personal cell phone, the owner always has the option of ignoring the voice mail function – understanding there is a risk they might miss calls and important information.  I have never had anyone tell me “I don’t like voice mail so don’t leave me a message”.  They might be eyerolling or getting bent out of shape or whatever when I leave a message, but I’m not going to keep dialing their number over and over on the chance they might decide to answer at a time convenient for THEM.  (snowflakey)

Also, in my earlier post I meant to also use the example of DVRs – one has to navigate various steps and punch various commands in order to record a program or even to watch a movie.  Not my favorite thing to do, but it doesn’t annoy me enough to get rid of mine.

I’m still not understanding why vm is such a problem for some people.

[Raintree]

Leave a voice mail if you have information to convey, ie "I'm mailing you some forms to sign and mail back to me." Or, "I can't be there by 3, so I will be there at 4." I get that not everyone texts, and that they may be calling from a landline.

Do not leave a VM just to say, "Hi, I'm calling you back...you're not picking up...where are you?" Useless, and forces me to waste time retrieving VM for no good reason.

[citadelle]

Also, in my earlier post I meant to also use the example of DVRs – one has to navigate various steps and punch various commands in order to record a program or even to watch a movie.  Not my favorite thing to do, but it doesn’t annoy me enough to get rid of mine.

I’m still not understanding why vm is such a problem for some people.

When I navigate through menus on my dvr or a favorite message board, I am rewarded (usually) with interesting content. Listening to vm is usually tedious and boring and often generates work or anxiety. There just is not he same payoff to vm that there is with a dvr, etc

[bloo]

Also, in my earlier post I meant to also use the example of DVRs – one has to navigate various steps and punch various commands in order to record a program or even to watch a movie.  Not my favorite thing to do, but it doesn’t annoy me enough to get rid of mine.

I’m still not understanding why vm is such a problem for some people.

When I navigate through menus on my dvr or a favorite message board, I am rewarded (usually) with interesting content. Listening to vm is usually tedious and boring and often generates work or anxiety. There just is not he same payoff to vm that there is with a dvr, etc

Yes Citadelle, thanks! Excellent point.

My DH usually leaves long, irritated VM's asking various incarnations of "Why aren't you answering your phone?"

When I leave him a VM, I get right to the point. Although I don't know why I bother as he ALWAYS calls me back with, "Yeah you called, what'jda want?...No I didn't check the VM, I saw that you called..."

[oceanus]

I guess a lot depends on a person's communication circle and relationships.  No one leaves me long tedious vms and no one asks why I didn't answer.

[katycoo]

Generally speaking I dislike voicemails.  Its a pain to retreive them.

However, I cannot turn off the function as it is a work phone - its not my decision.

I don't mind them if there's a point.  Don't just say "call me back" - tell me why you're calling.  I can then be prepared with any info you're after which will streamline my return call.

If you personally know me, just the missed call is sufficient.  I don't need a message from my DH saying "call me back".  I know you called.  I can see you called.  I'm going to call you to find out why you called.  The message is a waste of time.

Or, send me a text.

[MariaE]

Generally speaking I dislike voicemails.  Its a pain to retreive them.

However, I cannot turn off the function as it is a work phone - its not my decision.

I don't mind them if there's a point.  Don't just say "call me back" - tell me why you're calling.  I can then be prepared with any info you're after which will streamline my return call.

If you personally know me, just the missed call is sufficient.  I don't need a message from my DH saying "call me back".  I know you called.  I can see you called.  I'm going to call you to find out why you called.  The message is a waste of time.

Or, send me a text.

This is where I'm at as well - work phone = can't turn it off. I don't mind either if there's a point to the voice mail but 99.9% of all voice mails I receive are either "I'll try again later" or "I'll just send you an email instead". Great, but good grief, you don't need to tell me that! Just do it! Microsoft Support are the worst in this regard, and it seems reeeeeeally unprofessional.

I don't leave voice mails myself unless I absolutely have to. I'll send a text or an email instead.

[perpetua]

Count me in among the group who hates VM. For me personally it's the pressure of having someone force something on you that you didn't want to hear or deal with in the first place. If I'd wanted to hear what the caller had to say, I would have answered the phone in the first place.

With voicemail, you know now there's something there that you're supposed to listen to. And oftentimes I just don't want to, or, like I said, I would have answered the phone to begin with. Yeah, I could just ignore it, but then there's the message telling me someone has left something for me to hear, and I know it's there, and it bugs me. Like not opening postal mail that you don't care to open. It sits on the counter and you know it's there. It's pressure.

I've never heard of being able to turn VM off but I'm in the UK.

[miranova]

If I'd wanted to hear what the caller had to say, I would have answered the phone in the first place.

Now this I don't understand.  If I get someone's VM I do not immediately assume that they don't want to talk to me.  There is such a thing as just not being available at the moment or being at work, asleep, or in the shower and unable to answer at that exact moment.  So if they need the information I'm calling about, I assume they still want it even though they can't pick up the phone right then.  It would never occurr to me that someone not answering my call ONCE means they don't want to hear what I have to say. 

[perpetua]

If I'd wanted to hear what the caller had to say, I would have answered the phone in the first place.

Now this I don't understand.  If I get someone's VM I do not immediately assume that they don't want to talk to me.  There is such a thing as just not being available at the moment or being at work, asleep, or in the shower and unable to answer at that exact moment.  So if they need the information I'm calling about, I assume they still want it even though they can't pick up the phone right then.  It would never occurr to me that someone not answering my call ONCE means they don't want to hear what I have to say.

Of course. I'm only speaking for myself though. If you (general) get my VM, nine times out of ten it's because I don't want to answer the phone at that point.

[Hmmmmm]

As I said in an earlier post, I do not enjoy listening to VM's. I've never actually discussed this with anyone because I thought it was just me who was so irritated and impatient with them and I didn't want to admit that in most cases I delete the message before I ever finish listening to the entire thing. But there are some people who I dont mind getting VM's from and they are the ones who get to the point. 

Examples of VM's I don't mind.
Hmmmm, it's Jan. Would you call me back after 4 today to discuss the article?
Clear, gives me time boundaries and subject.
Hmmmm, it's Alan. Nothing urgent just calling to chat.
So when I see that I missed Alan's call I don't need to worry about calling back and he didn't leave me a long vm about what he wanted to chat about. Yeah!
Hmmmm, the deadline changed to the 1st instead of the 8th. Please have the draft by the 29th.
Clear concise and to the point. And I don't need to call back. I would have hated a VM that said "can you call me back to discuss the deadline to then call back and be told the same thing.
Hmmmm, its Susan. Dinner's at 7 on Saturday. Would you bring dessert?
short and sweet

So what I want is a VM that is 10 sec's or less.  And while that sounds short, all of the examples above would actually be under 10 secs. And I do feel a little bad that I have an attention span limit of 10 seconds, but there it is.

I love my MIL, but hate her VM's.  Her introductions is more than 10 secs.  It always starts out as "Hi, Hmmmm (pause, pause) it's MIL (pause, pause) Hope your having a good day (pause pause) I'm calling to tell you...." (after 20 years, I know the exact phrasing and cadence)
She's hit my 10 sec tolerance before she ever gets to the subject of why she's calling.

Someone mentioned they'd rather receive a text instead of getting a VM. While I would really enjoy that, I think it is a bit SS to expect someone who has initiated a phone call to hang up and no switch to typing out a text to you, especially if they are not using a smartphone.

Years ago, I used to listen to my vm's as soon as I could, both work and home. Now I might leave them for hours. Or if I know it's from my sister who loves to leave long rambling vm's of chatty stuff, I might leave them for a day or two. There is even one co-worker who's vm's are so annoying to me, that I will delay for a day.

So question.  Is there anyone who enjoys getting a chatty voicemail from someone you talk to on a regular basis?  I wouldn't mind one from a friend I haven't heard from in a year, but what I find is that the chatty people are going to repeat everything they told me in the voicemail when I talk to them next time.

[Kiara]

Not rude exactly but I wonder why people would use vm if they knew the person they wanted to communicate with didn't like/check it.  If they were unaware that would be one thing but if I want somebody to get my message/info/whatever it seems like it would make the most sense to use a form they would pay attention to.

This message articulates something I keep thinking.  How is this different than the threads we've had recently on people who don't text?  The overwhelming opinion in those threads was that you (general you) couldn't expect someone to remember your preferred method of communication.  I think the same applies here.

[MariaE]

Not rude exactly but I wonder why people would use vm if they knew the person they wanted to communicate with didn't like/check it.  If they were unaware that would be one thing but if I want somebody to get my message/info/whatever it seems like it would make the most sense to use a form they would pay attention to.

This message articulates something I keep thinking.  How is this different than the threads we've had recently on people who don't text?  The overwhelming opinion in those threads was that you (general you) couldn't expect someone to remember your preferred method of communication.  I think the same applies here.

It's different if the outgoing message says something along the lines of "Please don't leave a message - I don't check it anyway." In that case it's not expected of the caller to remember anybody's preferences, they just need to actually listen to the words of the outgoing message

[oceanus]

 

Regarding personal preferences, let’s say there is a group of 4 people who communicate fairly regularly.  But they each have their own personal preferences and they’ve decided to let others know how they want to communicate.

Person 1:  I hate voicemail,  I don’t want to listen to tedious, unnecessary messages and I hate the process I have to go theu to retrieve messages which are usually a waste of my time anyway.

Person 2:  I hate email.  Leave me a voice mail because I don’t do email.  I also hate talking on the phone.

Person 3:  I prefer texting.  I hate voice mail and email.  Send me a text message if you want to tell/ask me something.  I’ll also reply via text so you better check your text messages regularly.

Person 4: I hate texting, voice mail, and email.  I want to talk to a live person on the telephone, but I’m not available between 5 – 7 weeknights and my Saturdays are so busy.

So………. (in addition to living a life) everyone is supposed to keep track of all these personal preferences OR they can just say forget it and start scratching names off the list of people they communicate with?  REALLY?

   

[MariaE]

Not sure where you got that from. No, people are absolutely not supposed or required to keep track of personal preferences.