Author Topic: Voicemail etiquette  (Read 8373 times)

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oceanus

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Re: Voicemail etiquette
« Reply #90 on: March 14, 2013, 10:53:22 AM »
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Which brings me to a question. I've seen many peple say that this outgoing message would be SS because it forces people to take extra steps to contact you. Yet I've also read several posts saying "turn off vm". If vm is turned off, it leads to the same extra steps, so does that make everyone without it SS? I don't have it on my home phone. I don't think that makes me SS. And I know that local cell plans, vm is almost always included and it costs extra to remove it. So why can't someone leave that outgoing message to text and not be SS if they'd be allowed to turn off vm?

Has nothing to do with turning off vm.

The snowflakey part involves not wanting to take time to punch in a pass code or to listen to a message AND insisting that callers text or use your (general) preferred method of communicating.  Typing a text message takes more effort and often more time than retrieving a voice mail message.  So, the :too much time and effortĒ excuse is not valid.


bah12

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Re: Voicemail etiquette
« Reply #91 on: March 14, 2013, 11:17:03 AM »
I have vm to text service so every vm gets forwarded as a text to my phone. If the vm is too long or mumbly or unclear, it won't translate and it will get set aside until I have time to listen which could be a few days. I always say that if I was allowed, my outgoing vm would say "hang us and text me". But it's work so not my choice.

Which brings me to a question. I've seen many peple say that this outgoing message would be SS because it forces people to take extra steps to contact you. Yet I've also read several posts saying "turn off vm". If vm is turned off, it leads to the same extra steps, so does that make everyone without it SS? I don't have it on my home phone. I don't think that makes me SS. And I know that local cell plans, vm is almost always included and it costs extra to remove it. So why can't someone leave that outgoing message to text and not be SS if they'd be allowed to turn off vm?

It's not so much that it's rude to tell people your message preferences as it is the reasoning behind it.  For those that might say that it's just too much of a bother to type in their password and then don't consider all the extra effort they are requiring of their contacts, which is more than typing in a password, then it does sort of seem SS.  Those people are basically saying that it's more important to them to save themselves ten seconds of pushing buttons that it is for their friends to be saved from several more seconds of switching applications and pushing several more buttons.   And it's even true for those that say that listening to a VM is so torturous that they can't bring themselves to do it.  Unless it's one of those super long rambly messages (which I also hate), how is it possibly so painful to listen to a 10 second message that you absolutely cannot do it under any circumstances...requiring everyone else, again, to hang up, open new applications, and spend several seconds/minutes typing out a message?

Not having VM, to me, pretty much says the same thing without actually saying it.  Unless someone has a genuine phobia against VM, I don't see why anyone would go so far as to turn it off just to save themselves a few seconds of inconvenience.  Is it rude to do so?  Not really.  But it does make those relationships a lot more high maintenance and I know that at least for me, I have very little patience for people that are that picky about anything. 

The main problem that I have with this whole question/discussion is the idea that it's up to anyone else to solve your (general) problem.  It's not.  VM is a very common and readily available method of message leaving.  Most of the world uses it....even if they think that typing in a four digit password is a pain.  There are many inconvenient/painful/annoying things in this world.  And it's up to each of us to either mitigate that inconvenience for ourselves or deal with it.  To go as far as to say that it's rude to leave you (again general) a VM, simply because you have stated that you don't like them, is a bit SS.  It's not rude for people to leave VM when the option is available.  Making it unavailable still inconveniences everyone else on your behalf, but at least the option is no longer there for you to claim rudeness on their part. 

ETA:  I just remembered that my work blackberry actually doesn't ask me to type in a password.  I dial my cell phone number (push one button) and my messages are played back.  My personal iphone requires a password, but maybe for those that hate typing in passwords, there's a way to turn that feature off.
« Last Edit: March 14, 2013, 11:20:29 AM by bah12 »

oceanus

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Re: Voicemail etiquette
« Reply #92 on: March 14, 2013, 11:46:31 AM »
Also, it goes back to what I said earlier about a personís communication circle and relationships.  If people are leaving long or boring or (what you feel are) unnecessary messages, itís not the fault of the voice mail function.  The blame should but put on them, and on you (general) for not asking them to please stop leaving you long, boring, or unnecessary messages.  I've seen posts complaining about a spouse or SO or friend leaving an irritating "Returning your call" or "Why aren't you answering your phone?" message.  Well, whose fault is that?  ???

If I receive several overly long, boring, or unnecessary emails is that the fault of my computer or even my email system?  No.  Should I just say I hate email because I have to login with a password?  Um, no. 

citadelle

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Re: Voicemail etiquette
« Reply #93 on: March 14, 2013, 12:53:41 PM »
Also, it goes back to what I said earlier about a personís communication circle and relationships.  If people are leaving long or boring or (what you feel are) unnecessary messages, itís not the fault of the voice mail function.  The blame should but put on them, and on you (general) for not asking them to please stop leaving you long, boring, or unnecessary messages.  I've seen posts complaining about a spouse or SO or friend leaving an irritating "Returning your call" or "Why aren't you answering your phone?" message.  Well, whose fault is that?  ???

If I receive several overly long, boring, or unnecessary emails is that the fault of my computer or even my email system?  No.  Should I just say I hate email because I have to login with a password?  Um, no.

All of that may be true, but the reality is that I am still not going to listen to my voicemail. I will still look at my missed calls and return them instead.

oceanus

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Re: Voicemail etiquette
« Reply #94 on: March 14, 2013, 01:19:06 PM »
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All of that may be true, but the reality is that I am still not going to listen to my voicemail. I will still look at my missed calls and return them instead.

Fine.  Not listening to your voice mail is entirely your prerogative.  No one is trying to force anyone to listen to their voice mail.  In fact, one of the solutions I proposed to all of the expressed aggravation was:  If you hate voice mail, don't use it.  If you (general) choose not to deal with the people leaving messages which are irritating you (general), that is also your prerogative.

However, often it's not necessary for someone to look at their caller id and make a call.  For example, I got a message giving me the address I needed.  There is no point in me making yet another call and telling the person,  "I don't deal with voice mail."  That would be asking them to duplicate their efforts, stop what they're doing, and talk to me right now instead.  I choose not to do that.
« Last Edit: March 14, 2013, 01:23:21 PM by oceanus »

wolfie

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Re: Voicemail etiquette
« Reply #95 on: March 14, 2013, 01:25:25 PM »
Also, it goes back to what I said earlier about a personís communication circle and relationships.  If people are leaving long or boring or (what you feel are) unnecessary messages, itís not the fault of the voice mail function.  The blame should but put on them, and on you (general) for not asking them to please stop leaving you long, boring, or unnecessary messages.  I've seen posts complaining about a spouse or SO or friend leaving an irritating "Returning your call" or "Why aren't you answering your phone?" message.  Well, whose fault is that?  ???

If I receive several overly long, boring, or unnecessary emails is that the fault of my computer or even my email system?  No.  Should I just say I hate email because I have to login with a password?  Um, no.

All of that may be true, but the reality is that I am still not going to listen to my voicemail. I will still look at my missed calls and return them instead.

I hate people who do that. Especially when I left the exact message I needed to on your voicemail. Now I have to look up the info again and give it to you. Or if you misdialed now I also have to deal with someone convinced I called them when I didn't.

bah12

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Re: Voicemail etiquette
« Reply #96 on: March 14, 2013, 01:28:00 PM »
Also, it goes back to what I said earlier about a personís communication circle and relationships.  If people are leaving long or boring or (what you feel are) unnecessary messages, itís not the fault of the voice mail function.  The blame should but put on them, and on you (general) for not asking them to please stop leaving you long, boring, or unnecessary messages.  I've seen posts complaining about a spouse or SO or friend leaving an irritating "Returning your call" or "Why aren't you answering your phone?" message.  Well, whose fault is that?  ???

If I receive several overly long, boring, or unnecessary emails is that the fault of my computer or even my email system?  No.  Should I just say I hate email because I have to login with a password?  Um, no.

All of that may be true, but the reality is that I am still not going to listen to my voicemail. I will still look at my missed calls and return them instead.

And this is fine for your personal contacts.  In a business setting, though, where I don't use text functions at all, I get really annoyed when I call someone, leave a message that says "the meeting tomorrow has moved to 3pm" or "can you send me your TPS report?" and then they call me back asking me what I wanted.  I have already stated what I wanted in my VM.  In a business setting, refusal to listen to VM is viewed (where I work) as laziness.  And those workers tend not to be viewed favorably.  I would not have a business contact for long that refused to listen to my VMs.

I also get annoyed when this happens in my personal life.  Say I'm driving (so I won't text) and I need to tell someone that I just hit their exit and I'm giving them a 10 minute warning of my arrival time (I can use hands free in the car), I leave a VM, then they call me back two minutes later to ask me what I wanted.  Again, just annoying, and inconveniencing me as I have to repeat myself unnecessarily.  I'll give you that in most cases if I call a friend it's because I want to talk or need a call back, so if they just call me back without listening to my message, it doesn't matter too much to me...I'll probably not even know in most cases. 

Also, if I miss a call but didn't get a VM to go along with it, I don't call back.  Another pet peeve of mine is when people complain that I didn't call them back because they assumed I would when I saw caller ID, even though they didn't leave a message saying they needed me to.   I don't leave VM's if what I had to say was unimportant and doesn't require a call back and I don't return calls (mostly) unless I'm asked to.  VM is there for a reason and it becomes increasingly difficult to deal with everyone's little nuances of when calls are/should be expected.  Those friendships where it's just too hard to accommodate their message leaving preferences tend to fade away pretty fast for me. 

Also, Oceanus pretty much said it more consisely than I just did.

citadelle

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Re: Voicemail etiquette
« Reply #97 on: March 14, 2013, 01:31:03 PM »
Also, it goes back to what I said earlier about a personís communication circle and relationships.  If people are leaving long or boring or (what you feel are) unnecessary messages, itís not the fault of the voice mail function.  The blame should but put on them, and on you (general) for not asking them to please stop leaving you long, boring, or unnecessary messages.  I've seen posts complaining about a spouse or SO or friend leaving an irritating "Returning your call" or "Why aren't you answering your phone?" message.  Well, whose fault is that?  ???

If I receive several overly long, boring, or unnecessary emails is that the fault of my computer or even my email system?  No.  Should I just say I hate email because I have to login with a password?  Um, no.



All of that may be true, but the reality is that I am still not going to listen to my voicemail. I will still look at my missed calls and return them instead.

I hate people who do that. Especially when I left the exact message I needed to on your voicemail. Now I have to look up the info again and give it to you. Or if you misdialed now I also have to deal with someone convinced I called them when I didn't.

I can understand if you hate the practice, but am a little insulted that you hate me.
« Last Edit: March 14, 2013, 01:32:45 PM by citadelle »

wolfie

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Re: Voicemail etiquette
« Reply #98 on: March 14, 2013, 01:32:23 PM »
Also, it goes back to what I said earlier about a personís communication circle and relationships.  If people are leaving long or boring or (what you feel are) unnecessary messages, itís not the fault of the voice mail function.  The blame should but put on them, and on you (general) for not asking them to please stop leaving you long, boring, or unnecessary messages.  I've seen posts complaining about a spouse or SO or friend leaving an irritating "Returning your call" or "Why aren't you answering your phone?" message.  Well, whose fault is that?  ???

If I receive several overly long, boring, or unnecessary emails is that the fault of my computer or even my email system?  No.  Should I just say I hate email because I have to login with a password?  Um, no.

I can understand if you hate the practice, but am a little insulted that you hate me.

All of that may be true, but the reality is that I am still not going to listen to my voicemail. I will still look at my missed calls and return them instead.

I hate people who do that. Especially when I left the exact message I needed to on your voicemail. Now I have to look up the info again and give it to you. Or if you misdialed now I also have to deal with someone convinced I called them when I didn't.

You are right - I should have said I hate it when people do that.

BuffaloFang

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Re: Voicemail etiquette
« Reply #99 on: March 14, 2013, 02:59:35 PM »
I loathe VM.  I hate it in corporate communications, I hate it in personal communications.  I find an email or text is much easier to deal with; and an added bonus, it leaves a CYA trail. When it's a series of instructions, I find it easier to go through an email and check off the things that need to be done rather than listen to a voicemail (or even a phone call), frantically try to write instructions down, then re-listen to all the introductory garbage to get to the meat of the point just to ensure you didn't miss anything.

That said, I absolutely know it's my problem.  Do I wish voice mail could be abolished?  Sure, but since it's an accepted form of communication, I deal with it when I have to, and don't find people who use it "rude".  Inconvenient, maybe, but not rude. Kind of like how mothers pushing gigantic strollers down the sidewalk are inconvenient - but definitely not rude to do so (sure, it can be done rudely, but the act in itself is not rude).  I mean, I've had to fax something in the last year - talk about obsolete technology.  But it's not rude to use it.


bloo

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Re: Voicemail etiquette
« Reply #100 on: March 14, 2013, 04:30:03 PM »
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Which brings me to a question. I've seen many peple say that this outgoing message would be SS because it forces people to take extra steps to contact you. Yet I've also read several posts saying "turn off vm". If vm is turned off, it leads to the same extra steps, so does that make everyone without it SS? I don't have it on my home phone. I don't think that makes me SS. And I know that local cell plans, vm is almost always included and it costs extra to remove it. So why can't someone leave that outgoing message to text and not be SS if they'd be allowed to turn off vm?

Has nothing to do with turning off vm.

The snowflakey part involves not wanting to take time to punch in a pass code or to listen to a message AND insisting that callers text or use your (general) preferred method of communicating.  Typing a text message takes more effort and often more time than retrieving a voice mail message.  So, the :too much time and effortĒ excuse is not valid.

I don't mean to split hairs but I don't think it's snowflakey to not want to go to that trouble. I don't want to, but I still do it. Like I said, I think VM is a necessary evil.

Totally agree with BuffaloFang.

Also, it goes back to what I said earlier about a person’s communication circle and relationships.  If people are leaving long or boring or (what you feel are) unnecessary messages, it’s not the fault of the voice mail function.  The blame should but put on them, and on you (general) for not asking them to please stop leaving you long, boring, or unnecessary messages.  I've seen posts complaining about a spouse or SO or friend leaving an irritating "Returning your call" or "Why aren't you answering your phone?" message.  Well, whose fault is that?  ???
If I receive several overly long, boring, or unnecessary emails is that the fault of my computer or even my email system?  No.  Should I just say I hate email because I have to login with a password?  Um, no. 


Whiny messages from DH aren't my fault. I can't make him stop calling and leaving whiny VM's. I've asked him nicely and not-so-nicely. I've been passive-agressive and agressive-agressive. The only thing I haven't tried is doing the same thing to him. And I can't be bothered to because at this point I figure nothing will work. I have, through a process of non-cooperation, trained him to call me a lot less than he used (thank goodness).

Off-topic but just want to rant: if he doesn't aggravate me with a whiny VM, then he will call over and over and over and over. One time at a check-out, he called and I rejected the call figuring I 'd call him back as soon as the transaction was over. He called right back. Figuring he'd just keep calling, I answered the phone with a, "I'm at a checkout, I'll call you back." He said, "Well wait I just want to..." to which I repeated myself and disconnected. Cashier probably thought I was a rude wife but I was trying to be polite to her.

My DH and I must have totally different views of communication. When I call or text and leave a message, I put it out of my mind until they get back with me. Even if someone is avoiding talking or avoiding talking /texting with me, I still don't assume they're doing that. I don't take it personally at all. Maybe because I hate when people call me. I don't hate the people, I just hate that device ringing...beckoning me to pick it up and deal with it.

My DH seems to take it so personally when he can't get through to someone. His mind leaps to 'they're avoiding me' when most times I'd swear on my life they're not! I almost never hit 'reject' to one of DH's calls. It's almost like he views the phone as an 'instant-communication-device'. Almost everyone I know has a cellphone - that does not mean that everyone who has one is instantly accessible all the time. So why get upset if they don't answer or can't get back to for a while?

I remember my brother telling a friend who was getting snippy with him when she felt that my brother wasn't returning her calls fast enough. He responded, "I pay $130.00/month for MY convenience. It's not a digital tether that anyone who knows my number can jerk on when they want my attention." I'm all like, 'can I borrow that?' :)

 

Outdoor Girl

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Re: Voicemail etiquette
« Reply #101 on: March 14, 2013, 04:37:39 PM »
I just goofed leaving a VM.  I was calling my brother because my nephew and his buddy just left to go home after a day of skiing.  I called his work phone, left a message saying I was going to call his cell.  And then left a full message on his cell.  He got the desk phone message first and had a little freak out that something was wrong.  Oops.

But I prefer to call when I'm at home and long distance doesn't matter because I HATE texting.  My cell only has a key pad, not a keyboard so texting is painful.
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oceanus

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Re: Voicemail etiquette
« Reply #102 on: March 14, 2013, 04:52:50 PM »
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Whiny messages from DH aren't my fault. I can't make him stop calling and leaving whiny VM's.

I didn't say it (whiny messages) was necessarily your fault.  But it is your problem and the point is that shouldn't be blamed on the voice mail function.

The remainder of your post is about various communication issues/problems with your DH.  What you can/cannot make him do, what he thinks, how he feels, etc. is between you and your DH.  It's not a voice mail problem.
« Last Edit: March 14, 2013, 04:58:36 PM by oceanus »

bloo

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Re: Voicemail etiquette
« Reply #103 on: March 14, 2013, 05:02:46 PM »
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Whiny messages from DH aren't my fault. I can't make him stop calling and leaving whiny VM's.

I didn't say it (whiny messages) was necessarily your fault.  But it is your problem and the point is that shouldn't be blamed on the voice mail function.

The remainder of your post is about various communication issues/problems with your DH.  What you can/cannot make him do, what he thinks, how he feels, etc. is between you and your DH.  It's not a voice mail problem.

Actually you did say it was my fault. Right here:
"If people are leaving long or boring or (what you feel are) unnecessary messages, itís not the fault of the voice mail function.  The blame should but put on them, and on you (general) for not asking them to please stop leaving you long, boring, or unnecessary messages.  I've seen posts complaining about a spouse or SO or friend leaving an irritating "Returning your call" or "Why aren't you answering your phone?" message.  Well, whose fault is that? "

As far as the remainder of my post, you can see that I put 'off-topic just wanted to rant'. So I know that it's between my and my DH and not a fault of VM.

oceanus

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Re: Voicemail etiquette
« Reply #104 on: March 14, 2013, 05:07:32 PM »
Look again. I said you (general).

Interpret it as you wish.
« Last Edit: March 14, 2013, 05:21:44 PM by oceanus »