Sam has tons of brothers, both biologically and from his frat so I'm pretty sure all his groomsmen slots have been pre-filled for nearly a decade ha. There were zero hard feelings about neither of us being asked, in our wedding 2 years ago we had 6 on each side (which felt huge!) because we couldnít pare it down anymore and I still had many more friends I'd have loved to include.
Thanks for all the thoughtful replies! Amber texted me out of the blue last night stating if I was worried about the cost they would pay for the dress and all I had to do was show up and pose for picturesÖbut no pressure either way! I'm going to call her tonight and explain that it would feel like stepping in as a bridesmaid is betting against her friendship with Fran which I'm just not comfortable with. I donít understand their volatile rel@tionship but they've been friends for half their lives and she's going to want to see her in the pictures 20 years from now. This is actually the second time this has happened, Fran was already kicked out then reinstated so previous posters were correct that that will probably be what happens again. Amber asked me if I had similar experiences with my bridesmaids and I laughed and sad "no I donít fight with my friends like that, y'all are exhausting." I know it's not really ehell approved but thatís how we interact and she laughed and agreed it was a lot of drama.
I'm still going to the shower and bachelorette party which I would have anyway, and we're taking care of their pets during the honeymoon as they did for us so I hope all that is supportive enough not to make things weird for DH and Sam.