Author Topic: Is Blood really thicker than water?  (Read 3707 times)

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oceanus

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Is Blood really thicker than water?
« on: March 13, 2013, 12:23:39 PM »
I wanted to get some feedback regarding the old saying “Blood is thicker than water”.  I know what it means, but I don’t necessarily agree with it 100% all the time.

For example, last year the (adult) son of a relative in another state got himself into some very, VERY serious trouble.  I feel badly for his parents, but the fact that he is related to me does not excuse what he did.  My feeling is that he knew what he was doing was wrong/illegal, and he is going to have to face the consequences of his behavior and pay the price (which is going to be quite steep and will affect the rest of his life).  This also is not the first time he has been in trouble.  Some have said family is family, people make mistakes, and a person must always stick by their family, and family will always be there for you so you should always be there for them.

OTOH, A few weeks ago a cousin visited me and we went out and had a nice dinner.  I enjoy her company tremendously, and we hadn’t seen each other in quite a while.  During a discussion, I said “I don’t necessarily believe that blood is always thicker than water.  She said “Oh, neither do I.”

Well, that’s not true.  Mentally I replayed many scenarios I’m aware of when she defended members of her immediate family when they were clearly wrong.  She made excuses, justified their behavior, and even twisted what had actually happened.  But – that was a long time ago.  So, I said nothing, and bean-dipped.  I didn’t want to argue, and we continued to enjoy the evening.

So, what is your opinion………is blood thicker than water?

LeveeWoman

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Re: Is Blood really thicker than water?
« Reply #1 on: March 13, 2013, 12:28:55 PM »
What does this have to do with etiquette?

Cat-Fu

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Re: Is Blood really thicker than water?
« Reply #2 on: March 13, 2013, 12:29:14 PM »
“Poetry is a sword of lightning, ever unsheathed, which consumes the scabbard that would contain it.” PBS

miranova

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Re: Is Blood really thicker than water?
« Reply #3 on: March 13, 2013, 12:33:23 PM »
  family will always be there for you so you should always be there for them.



This is simply not true for a lot of people.  My family has NOT always been there for me, in fact, they rarely are.  So I feel no obligation to go out of my way to do anything for them that I wouldn't do for others.

WillyNilly

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Re: Is Blood really thicker than water?
« Reply #4 on: March 13, 2013, 12:34:59 PM »
Well just as an aside, the expression was brought up in another thread not to long ago, and its original meaning was friendships are stronger then family bonds (blood referring to mutual blood spilled on the battlefield, water referring to amniotic fluid).

But to your point, I think its all just a bunch of expressions. In reality relationships are based on the people involved, and how they interact, more so then how people were originally connected/brought together.

Sometimes our closest relationships are family by default - a a kid you might not have much exposure to outside persons, but excessive exposure to family, so by default your emotionally closest relationships are going to be family. But as a person's exposure widens, sometimes your closest relationships will be with people outside your family line, and depending on the nature of those relationships they can be much stronger. Take spouses for example - often at some in life a person is closer to their spouse then to their siblings, even if they originally grew up being close to their siblings.

oceanus

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Re: Is Blood really thicker than water?
« Reply #5 on: March 13, 2013, 12:38:07 PM »
What does this have to do with etiquette?

I did say something about bean-dipping.  Some may feel I sould have said more.

You also might want to review the Forum Rules for recent posts about general discussions.

You don't always HAVE to comment/participate if you're confused or don't care for the topic.
« Last Edit: March 13, 2013, 12:47:22 PM by oceanus »

Melle

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Re: Is Blood really thicker than water?
« Reply #6 on: March 13, 2013, 12:42:08 PM »
As the relative of a complete sociopath and his denying, enabling family, my strong opinion is: no, blood is not thicker than water. If your relatives cannot behave like decent human beings, nothing compels you to help them, or even be in contact with them.

oceanus

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Re: Is Blood really thicker than water?
« Reply #7 on: March 13, 2013, 12:52:42 PM »
One thing I neglected to say is that sometimes a person can get defensive about a femily member and we know about that river in Egypt.

So, is it better to pretend to agree, bean dip, or flat out disagree with them?

War_Doc

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Re: Is Blood really thicker than water?
« Reply #8 on: March 13, 2013, 12:54:10 PM »
oceanus, if you have a problem with something someone has posted toward you, it is easier to report it to the moderators then to escalate the situation...especially with that last snide sentence of yours.
By their victory, the 3rd, 4th and 5th Marine Divisions and other units of the Fifth Amphibious Corps have made an accounting to their country which only history will be able to value fully. Among the Americans who served on Iwo Island, uncommon valor was a common virtue."

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Melle

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Re: Is Blood really thicker than water?
« Reply #9 on: March 13, 2013, 12:54:29 PM »
Quote
One thing I neglected to say is that sometimes a person can get defensive about a femily member and we know about that river in Egypt.

So, is it better to pretend to agree, bean dip, or flat out disagree with them?

If it's a close family member, I usually go with disagreeing. Which has proven futile and frustrating, but maybe it'll sow some seeds - or at least make you feel like you did what you could to change the situation.
« Last Edit: March 13, 2013, 12:56:14 PM by Melle »

War_Doc

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Re: Is Blood really thicker than water?
« Reply #10 on: March 13, 2013, 12:55:15 PM »
What does this have to do with etiquette?

If you have a question in regard to this issue, then I suggest you report it instead of posting this question.  Saves a lot of headaches down to the road of people reacting to said statement.
By their victory, the 3rd, 4th and 5th Marine Divisions and other units of the Fifth Amphibious Corps have made an accounting to their country which only history will be able to value fully. Among the Americans who served on Iwo Island, uncommon valor was a common virtue."

--Admiral C. W. Nimitz

Piratelvr1121

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Re: Is Blood really thicker than water?
« Reply #11 on: March 13, 2013, 12:58:58 PM »
I agree with Willy Nilly.   I'm not nearly as close to extended family as an adult as I was growing up.   I still care about them, but I'm much closer with my friends and my IL's than my FOO.

As for bean dip or disagree? I say bean dip if they seem like they're drowning in that river. But on the other hand, sometimes just saying something like "Really? Your sister said you're required to give up walking across the stage at your graduation because she needed a babysitter for a massage?  She sounds awfully entitled!" might not get them to agree with you, but at least hearing an outsider's perspective might make them realize over time that the way family treats them is NOT normal.
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.  You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata

snowdragon

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Re: Is Blood really thicker than water?
« Reply #12 on: March 13, 2013, 01:01:48 PM »
My brother was arrested ( and convicted) of drinking and driving multiple times. We as has family have always been more impacted by these than he has.  License lifted? Mom always expected the rest of us to drive his butt around. Schedules in conflict? His was expected to take precedence. Even if that meant the person driving his but have to be really late, or really early for their event  - at this point mom is the only one who will drive him, because I am sick of paying the price for his mistakes and my other brother s too busy running three businesses to be asked.  The first time I refused to give up a concert to get this drunk where he wanted to go,  I got all kinds of flack -mom did not speak to me for weeks.
  When she finally, wanted to discuss it I told her "yes, he's my brother, but he has made my life miserable for YEARS, he's a arrogant jerk, when sober and when drunk he's verbally abusive. I am sick of having to work around his behavor and deserve to have a life of my own. If he needed to go to the hospital - of course I would drive him. This is not anything like that, this he wants to go have fun his way and I want to go have fun my way. He got drunk, he drove, he got his license lifted, yet again, why am I being punished for his actions and he is being catered to?"   Mom's response was "he's family, that should make what he needs more important to you."
  I love my brother, I see standing by him as appearing in court when he needs a ride there,  not denying he's my brother and not providing him with the means to get drunk and wreck his life further, but standing there and saying anything but "You were a dumb jerk to do this, don't do it again." ain't happening. Standing by someone does not mean you enabled or excuse them, it means you let them know you still love them and expect better from them. And that you are willing to let them take the consequences for their actions. to do less denies them the ability to grow.

Bethalize

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Re: Is Blood really thicker than water?
« Reply #13 on: March 13, 2013, 01:02:42 PM »
I was just going to share the cracked.com link! Yes, "The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb." The saying means the opposite of how we use it. It's probably why we find ourselves thinking it's a daft thing to say so often.

And then I try and post and there are nine responses.

oceanus

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Re: Is Blood really thicker than water?
« Reply #14 on: March 13, 2013, 01:04:47 PM »
Quote
I say bean dip if they seem like they're drowning in that river.

Funny!   ;D

Yeah, a lot of that going around.

One relative gets really defensive and angry if anyone even begins to imply that her mother is a gossip and a troublemaker (which she IS).  I've often seen people exchanging looks, like, "Is she for real?"  ::)