General Etiquette > Techno-quette

Announcing a death on FB?

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lmyrs:
Just because you wouldn't want to hear something on FB, doesn't make it rude to post. Perhaps the lady was overly presumptuous. Perhaps not. Maybe she was closer than the OP presumes. Maybe she was asked to spread the word. It seems to me that she found out at about the same time or before the OP so maybe there's a relationship there the OP isn't aware of. I mean, how else would she know?

bah12:
First, I'm sorry for your loss.

As for posting on FB, I don't find the timeline all that shocking.  Your friend passed away on Monday night...you were told about it the next day and after your notification, you saw the post on FB.  I wouldn't automatically assume that she was being presumptuous.   Her family was likely notified immediately after she passed and possibly even notified before then that the time was drawing near. 

I think that there are a lot of unpleasant things posted on FB.  And things that people wouldn't necessarily want to find out on FB, posted on FB.  But that alone doesn't make it rude.  FB is how  I find out about a lot of deaths of people that I'm not so close to that I would get a phone call about.  For me, personally, if I do hear of something tragic, I do try to wait for those that are much closer to the situation to post something first, but at the same time, I recognize that many people rely on the news spreading at will so they don't have to contact everyone themselves. 

Bottom line is that everyone is different and has different preferences of how news like this should be shared and who should share it.  I don't think it's necessarily rude for someone to post about a death on FB after they hear about it unless a family member specifically asks them not to. 

Minmom3:
I think what we have here is somewhat of a changing of the guard in an acceptable method for transmitting such news, AND somebody who LOVES to be first in line in telling such news.  There have always been such people.  They used to sit in the front window and watch through the curtain and gossip endlessly about what they saw through the window.  Once telephones were invented (party lines, anyone?!) they listened in on other peoples calls, and then spread the news themselves.  Now we have the internet and the process just got easier.  There have always been clashes between old and new modes of information transfer, and there have always been people who appear to really need that feeling of importance they get by being the first to TELL EVERYBODY!  They're just using a bigger forum on which to be rude these days.  And, as always, since they have no self control, the only way to deal with them is to ID them and keep them out of the loop.

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