General Etiquette > Techno-quette

Announcing a death on FB?

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sparksals:
Sometimes FB is the only way people find out about deaths these days.  It is a newer form of communication and I think this is going to be more the norm than the exception now and in the future. 

Once the news has hit such a peripheral acquaintance, I think it is fair game to talk/write about.   

I also don't think it is the OP's place to assess the level of closeness between people.  The acquaintance could have kept in contact with the family without  knowing it. 

When my dad died, I was grateful word spread in so many directions.  It saved us from rehashing and making call after call after call. 

TurtleDove:

--- Quote from: sparksals on March 13, 2013, 05:18:53 PM ---When my dad died, I was grateful word spread in so many directions.  It saved us from rehashing and making call after call after call.

--- End quote ---

Agreed - I would hope that next of kin would hear via phone call or in person first, but especially for cultures that have a limited time in which funerals must be held it is important to get the word out.

sparksals:

--- Quote from: TurtleDove on March 13, 2013, 05:21:06 PM ---
--- Quote from: sparksals on March 13, 2013, 05:18:53 PM ---When my dad died, I was grateful word spread in so many directions.  It saved us from rehashing and making call after call after call.

--- End quote ---

Agreed - I would hope that next of kin would hear via phone call or in person first, but especially for cultures that have a limited time in which funerals must be held it is important to get the word out.

--- End quote ---

Yes.  It sounds in this situation that the family of the bereaved were all notified.  Once family are aware, I think it is fair game.  I don't think the person in question did anything wrong.  It is not that person's fault the OP could not notify her husband. 

Fragglerocker:
Update/clarifications--

1) I do assume all family knew, but I don't know for sure. 

2) Neither the CaringBridge site nor anything on FB from the family had indicated my friend's passing at that point.  I'm linked to both and haven't gotten any CaringBridge announcement yet.     I am assuming the acquaintance who posted heard through the grapevine, same as I did--but I didn't post anything.  At that point the grapevine was not mass-notice, it was person to person. 

3) I don't know who specifically told the acquaintance (like I said, I am assuming the grapevine), but I do know how close the woman who died and this person were, because they knew each other through me.  The acquaintance was my secretary, I invited her to our church, she briefly got involved, then dropped going after about three months, then a year later, moved away.  I still am in touch with her via FB and I know she is still in communication with a few people that way, too, and as such would have heard about the woman's illness through the people who were closer to her. 

4)  I don't know how many other people had not yet heard through the grapevine about my friend's passing before they might have read my friend's announcement.  I just know that I would not want to have heard about her passing through this acquaintance.  It would have been really offputting.  But I guess that doesn't mean it was rude per se? 

5) No arrangements have yet been made so there was no news of a funeral/wake/memorial yet to share.

Not sure if this has any impact on anyone's thoughts or views or not.

miranova:
I found out that my grandfather died via Facebook message from my father.  It was a mass FB message that was also sent to my siblings.  I called all three of my siblings ASAP so that they would hear it from me before seeing the message.  They were grateful.  However, at least (?) my father didn't just post it on his wall before letting us know. 

I do think there is a time and place to post a death on Facebook....after all family/close friends have been notified.  It is a good way to get the news out and also quite frankly can be a means of support for the grieving parties.  I know that anytime one of my friends has posted about a death in their family it has always seemed the natural thing to do and it was a way for them to receive support and condolences....assuming all of the family already knows of course.

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