Author Topic: Having things I don't like for guests?  (Read 3665 times)

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AmethystAnne

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Re: Having things I don't like for guests?
« Reply #15 on: March 15, 2013, 08:06:47 AM »
DH and I start the coffee pot every AM before 5:30.  ;D

For those that are not coffee drinkers, and don't have the room for a pot: I heard about a product similar to tea bags - coffee bags! They work the same way as tea bags. I would keep the coffee bags in the freezer to keep them fresh for as long as possible.

Which reminds me, I need to buy some of them to keep in my purse for those times when I babysit the grandkids, and I only want one cup of coffee.

veryfluffy

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Re: Having things I don't like for guests?
« Reply #16 on: March 15, 2013, 08:08:40 AM »
For unexpected or occasional drop-in visitors, you have what you have. You no more need to keep coffee on hand than you need to keep diet cream soda, just in case that is someone's preferred beverage. You do not need to offer someone what they prefer when they visit you. Otherwise you would need to keep on hand three different types of coffee, three kinds of milk, and two low-calorie sweeteners along with sugar, just in case. "Coffee" isn't a single substance, any more than "soda" is.

If someone is staying with you overnight, it is considerate to have on hand something you know they like, if possible.

   

camlan

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Re: Having things I don't like for guests?
« Reply #17 on: March 15, 2013, 08:13:13 AM »
I don't drink coffee. I do have a small French press coffee maker for overnight guests--it's much smaller than a Mr. Coffee-type machine, so it doesn't take up too much room in a kitchen cabinet.

However, I don't usually have coffee in the house unless I am expecting guests. It goes bad or stale eventually, so I only buy a small amount at a time. There's usually instant coffee, because I use it in a couple of recipes, so I can offer that to an unexpected guest, along with water, tea, and hot chocolate.

It's an interesting question, having coffee around when you don't drink it yourself. It's easier enough to stash a few tea bags somewhere. As long as you have a mug and something to boil water in, you're good to go.  But with coffee, you not have to have the coffee, you need a coffee maker of some sort--a Mr. Coffee thing takes up a lot of room if you aren't using it, but there are French presses or the little drip filters that make one cup at a time. Still, in a small kitchen, having to store anything that isn't regularly used can be a hassle.

And it's not just the coffee. Most people who drink coffee also want milk or cream and/or sugar in their coffee. I usually have a carton of milk on hand, but not cream. And no sugar bowl, so I have to break out the 5 pound sugar canister when someone needs sugar. It's not the end of the world, obviously, but it's always a jolt when I have proudly presented a coffee-drinking guest with a hot, steaming cup of coffee, (hey, look, I remembered that you drink coffee and I got some just for you!), only to be asked for cream and sugar. (Darn, I'm not as good a hostess as I thought I was!)

There's limits to how much stuff you have room for when you don't use it yourself. Coffee maker, coffee, artificial sweetener--I use none of these things. I have a small kitchen. Compromises must be made somewhere.
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that_one_girl

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Re: Having things I don't like for guests?
« Reply #18 on: March 15, 2013, 08:13:48 AM »
I used to let my in-laws fend for themselves regarding their morning coffee.  My family never has been coffee drinkers, and I am not good at making coffee taste right using the machine.   I did get a Keurig machine as a gift, so now I will make them coffee if they ask for it, since I know how to do it with the single serving kcups.

lowspark

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Re: Having things I don't like for guests?
« Reply #19 on: March 15, 2013, 09:27:38 AM »
I don't drink coffee but I do have a coffee maker and I keep coffee on hand (in the back fridge so it won't go stale) for the occasional coffee drinker who wants a cup. However, if you're that coffee drinker, ya might wanna make it yourself. I don't drink the stuff so I have no idea if it's too strong, too weak, etc. I don't have a feel for exactly how much ground coffee per amount of water. I'll be happy to make it but if you want it the way you like it, then have at it.

Now, is this totally necessary? I'd say not. And the reason I say that is that I almost never offer coffee to guests, simply because I just don't think of it. If they ask, or on the extremely rare occasion that someone who I know is a major coffee drinker is staying overnight and I actually remember to ask, then yeah, I've got the necessaries. I also have a McDonalds very close to my house which I'm told makes great coffee and most people would just prefer to go there because it's quick and easy.

I was once totally chastised on another forum for only having "popular brand" of coffee on hand. (I just buy whatever brand is cheap every blue moon when I actually do buy coffee.) Someone told me I was not a good hostess if I didn't have a gourmet brand on hand because real coffee drinkers would be insulted if I offered them the more lowly brand. I was like, Really? Glad you're not coming over to my house anytime soon.

Seriously, if a guest in my house is more concerned with the coffee selection than with my company, then well, ok, I'm not a good hostess so you don't have to worry about accepting my hospitality again!

I think as long as you offer your guests a reasonable variety and the option of getting what they want close by if you can't provide it, you're ok. I honestly don't think you have to have every possible option of every possible food and drink that a guest might want when they come over.

Tea Drinker

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Re: Having things I don't like for guests?
« Reply #20 on: March 15, 2013, 10:18:45 AM »
I don't think you're obliged, in part because, as other posters have noted, you could wind up keeping a long list of stuff for people with different preferences, and watching most of it go bad. (As a tea-drinker in a largely coffee-drinking culture, I generally carry a few tea bags (sealed in foil by the manufacturer), so I can have tea anywhere that someone is willing to boil water for me; I don't assume that people will have plain black tea.) If I have invited someone to stay with me, and don't already know, I check with them about morning beverages and such. For one friend, that means cans of his preferred cola.

For more casual visitors, I'll say "Would you like something to drink? I have milk and orange juice, I could make tea or coffee, and of course there's water." Or whatever else I have on a given day.

You certainly aren't obliged to make a big deal out of it, or clutter your storage with an otherwise-unused urn. Instant, pointers to a nearby coffee shop, or if you want to make a bit of effort for coffee drinkers, a single-serving drip cone and filters are reasonably compact.

Conversely, I'm
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Layla Miller

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Re: Having things I don't like for guests?
« Reply #21 on: March 15, 2013, 11:21:09 AM »
DH and I don't drink coffee, but my parents do.  When they come to visit, they bring their own pot and coffee.  Everyone's happy!  :)
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bloo

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Re: Having things I don't like for guests?
« Reply #22 on: March 15, 2013, 12:09:41 PM »
I love, love, love coffee and would be grateful to be offered any especially from those that don't drink it!

I'd just do like PP's and head out in the morning to grab myself some. If I knew in advance that my hosts don't drink coffee, I'd bring my own stuff (french press, coffee, cream & sugar) if I also knew that it was okay with them.

We usually only stay with my parents or my brother. In which case we just drink their coffee and I buy half-n-half for their fridge.

Camlan: Bless you for stocking a french press! DH & I can't really enjoy coffee as much unless it's french-pressed! I'd totally be happy with your milk and will....clean your bathroom* if you're willing to bust open the 5 lb. bag of sugar!

I stock a huge selection of teas that I rarely drink because I've a lot of guests that prefer it. I only have milk or water on hand, otherwise as the kids snarfle juice down like it's air. We can't really keep beer on hand for drop-ins as my DH likes to snarfle that.

*I'd clean after myself in your bathroom anyway as a guest but I'm referring to getting down on my hands and knees to scrub your toilet for being so accommodating!


Lynn2000

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Re: Having things I don't like for guests?
« Reply #23 on: March 15, 2013, 12:17:29 PM »
I don't think you're obligated to have coffee and coffee accessories on hand for drop-in guests.

For guests staying longer, I think part of being a good host is thinking ahead and trying to accommodate the guests' needs/wants in some way. Whether you actually provide the item, even though you won't use it yourself, or just point them towards where they can get it themselves, depends on the specific item, how opposed you are to it, etc.. Some people are willing to/enjoy going to more trouble to accommodate their guests, and some people aren't (while still meeting the threshold of being a good host). This is one of those points about hosting that I personally think is tricky, and an area where the guest and host might both have to compromise graciously.

I like to drink coffee in the morning, but I wouldn't expect a non-coffee-drinker to keep a coffee maker, coffee, and accessories around just for me. It makes me think of the little jar of instant coffee my parents keep in the freezer, which I swear is at least 25 years old.  :P No coffee drinker would want that stuff, I'm sure! I do need my caffeine in the morning, though, or I get a headache :( so if someone was morally opposed to the stuff or the smell made them nauseous etc., I would appreciate a head's-up so I could make my own arrangements.
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Re: Having things I don't like for guests?
« Reply #24 on: March 15, 2013, 12:51:18 PM »
I love, love, love coffee and would be grateful to be offered any especially from those that don't drink it!

I'd just do like PP's and head out in the morning to grab myself some. If I knew in advance that my hosts don't drink coffee, I'd bring my own stuff (french press, coffee, cream & sugar) if I also knew that it was okay with them.

We usually only stay with my parents or my brother. In which case we just drink their coffee and I buy half-n-half for their fridge.

Camlan: Bless you for stocking a french press! DH & I can't really enjoy coffee as much unless it's french-pressed! I'd totally be happy with your milk and will....clean your bathroom* if you're willing to bust open the 5 lb. bag of sugar!

I stock a huge selection of teas that I rarely drink because I've a lot of guests that prefer it. I only have milk or water on hand, otherwise as the kids snarfle juice down like it's air. We can't really keep beer on hand for drop-ins as my DH likes to snarfle that.

*I'd clean after myself in your bathroom anyway as a guest but I'm referring to getting down on my hands and knees to scrub your toilet for being so accommodating!

Want to come visit me?  I have a French press and coffee in the house.  Heck, I'll even go out and buy a carton of cream if you're going to clean my bathroom.   ;D
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bloo

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Re: Having things I don't like for guests?
« Reply #25 on: March 15, 2013, 01:37:29 PM »
I love, love, love coffee and would be grateful to be offered any especially from those that don't drink it!

I'd just do like PP's and head out in the morning to grab myself some. If I knew in advance that my hosts don't drink coffee, I'd bring my own stuff (french press, coffee, cream & sugar) if I also knew that it was okay with them.

We usually only stay with my parents or my brother. In which case we just drink their coffee and I buy half-n-half for their fridge.

Camlan: Bless you for stocking a french press! DH & I can't really enjoy coffee as much unless it's french-pressed! I'd totally be happy with your milk and will....clean your bathroom* if you're willing to bust open the 5 lb. bag of sugar!

I stock a huge selection of teas that I rarely drink because I've a lot of guests that prefer it. I only have milk or water on hand, otherwise as the kids snarfle juice down like it's air. We can't really keep beer on hand for drop-ins as my DH likes to snarfle that.

*I'd clean after myself in your bathroom anyway as a guest but I'm referring to getting down on my hands and knees to scrub your toilet for being so accommodating!

Want to come visit me?  I have a French press and coffee in the house.  Heck, I'll even go out and buy a carton of cream if you're going to clean my bathroom.   ;D

Just send me your address and I'll bring my knee pads! ;D

jaxsue

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Re: Having things I don't like for guests?
« Reply #26 on: March 15, 2013, 01:49:23 PM »
I have no problem with hosts not having coffee for a short visit situation. For overnight, I do like to have coffee in the a.m. In that case, a heads-up would be nice. I can easily be directed to a McD's, Dunkin Donuts, or a Starbucks. If the smell of coffee bothers a host, I am happy to drink it elsewhere. Just let me know ahead of time - that's all I ask!  :)

Amara

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Re: Having things I don't like for guests?
« Reply #27 on: March 15, 2013, 02:06:56 PM »
I too don't drink coffee and never have. But I keep a small 4-cup coffeemaker which I got through Freecycle. (No sense paying for something I would never use.) Along with it came two small bags of gourmet ground coffee, one regular, one decaf. I keep the coffee in the freezer and the coffeemaker at the back of a cabinet. Neither take up much room, and it's there if any guest wants any. Alas, I'd have to ask them to make it because I don't know how much coffee grounds to put in. I also worry how long that coffee will stay good even in the freezer.

I have never drunk soda so if any guest wants that they will have to have their own. That stuff is expensive! I can offer some teas, water, and always nonfat organic bottled milk.
« Last Edit: March 15, 2013, 02:35:15 PM by Amara »

gingerzing

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Re: Having things I don't like for guests?
« Reply #28 on: March 15, 2013, 02:23:35 PM »
I am assuming (bad I know) that if you are hosting that you know the folks staying.  And if they are staying with you, they know your dislike of coffee.   
Personally, if I knew you didn't do coffee or didn't like coffee and I was just visiting, I wouldn't care.  Water or - if it wasn't too much trouble - hot water for tea is fine.  (I don't even drink pop)

  My mother dislikes coffee (A LOT) but she has a small basic coffee pot on the top shelf of one cabinet for when DH and I go visit (usually 3-7 days).  I bring my own coffee.  But in normally she doesn't have coffee in the house nor offers to make it for most guests.  Generally for just a visit, she offers water.  Often she will put a pot of water on for tea (she has oodles of different teas) and she occasionally has a couple pops - though normally it is just diet pepsi or diet sierra mist.  (Drinks with meals may also include milk)

My mother's dislike for coffee is so well known that when my father passed away, her department brought a big tin of coffee (along with paper plates, garbage bags, paper napkins, etc) for company coming to the funeral.


As AmethystAnne said there are the coffee bags.  I had forgotten those, but they work quite nicely.  No need for a coffee maker and still a bit nicer than instant. 

ETA -
Again, coffee isn't necessary for being a good host. And certainly if you do decide on even having the coffee bags* or instant, whatever milk and sugar you would normally use is fine to have.  You are not a barastia nor a coffee shop and shouldn't have to worry about all the additional stuff. (No need to have a steamer or a full selection of flavored syrups.)

*I think it is Folger's brand that did the coffee bags.  We took them camping with us for a few years and it was nice not to have to figure out a coffee pot. Just boil water.
« Last Edit: March 15, 2013, 02:29:30 PM by gingerzing »

QueenofAllThings

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Re: Having things I don't like for guests?
« Reply #29 on: March 15, 2013, 02:23:42 PM »
Love coffee. HATE tea. However, I keep a box of assorted teas in my pantry for guests.  It takes up virtually no space, and I like to be able to provide for my guests.  I'd suggest that you keep some, along with a French press or chemex drip to make it. Both the press and the drip use less space than a coffee maker (and no electricity). I don't consider myself a coffee snob, but instant coffee is really beyond the pale. YMMV.