Unable to attend a housewarming party

[Waterlight]

I received an invitation to a housewarming party in May.  Unfortunately the party is too far away for me (10 miles from the nearest bus stop--and I don't drive), so I won't be able to attend.   

I would like to do something for the hostess, though, since she is a friend.  I was thinking of emailing her and asking whether there was anything she could use in her new house, then if she said yes, sending it to her as a gift (or buying a gift card so she'd be able to buy it herself).

What are your thoughts on this?

[hobish]

I think it is a really nice idea. You don’t sound like it’s a “she invited me but I can’t go so now I have to get a gift” sort of feeling, just that you want to do something nice for your friend. Who wouldn’t love that?

[bloo]

Wow, if you were my friend, the best gift you could give me is to see if you can hitch a ride with someone to come. 

But I should assume that you've probably already thought of that and it's simply not possible.

So the very next best thing is to try to glean for information from her. I think your idea is fine (and very generous and friendly) but maybe if you call up and chat with her about her new place she may volunteer info through the course of conversation of what she may want.

Honestly, if I received an email like that, I couldn't bring myself to reply with what I wanted. I'd just reply with sorrow that you're not able to make it!

In which case, a gift card to Lowe's or Home Depot with a card will probably be your best bet.

[WillyNilly]

Housewarming parties aren't major gift giving events, but if you want to do something nice that's certainly always a sweet and loving thing to do for a friend.

You could ask her if she needs anything in particular, or you could send a surprise. My first thought is to send flowers (in a vase, or a flowering potted plant) the day before the party. Flowers are usually well received and considered traditional "congratulations" gifts, plants tend to be a traditional housewarming gift, and they would also be a nice way to 'contribute' to the party because they are beautiful and will be part of the festive decor. Alternately sending a festive food gift the day before the party might be nice, as they can put it out as part of the party spread, or save it for themselves as a treat since moving to a new house is often time consuming (not a lot of time to grocery shop) and expensive (not a lot of extra funds to treat ones self to non-house stuff).

Asking her if she needs anything is totally fine if you have that kind of relationship. Some people are very uncomfortable asking for gifts or even answering that type of question though, so it might not garner you much information.

[bah12]

Anytime a friend or family members buys a new house I usually give them a congratulatory card with a gift card to a local home improvement store inside.  It seems that brand new or old, there's always something to get and/or repair when moving into a new place.  It would be nice to accompany that with a potted plant or flowers if you know your friend likes those type of things.

[SamiHami]

Well, bread and salt are the traditional housewarming gifts. Bread so that they may never be hungry, and salt so that their lives will have flavor. You could have some fun with this theme by getting specialty salts/breads of some sort. I think it would be warmer and more memorable than a gift card.

[LadyDyani]

Well, bread and salt are the traditional housewarming gifts. Bread so that they may never be hungry, and salt so that their lives will have flavor. You could have some fun with this theme by getting specialty salts/breads of some sort. I think it would be warmer and more memorable than a gift card.

I've heard two:

Bread - So you never go hungry. Wine - So your life is always sweet. Salt - So there is always spice in your life. And a Candle - So you always have light.

and;

Rice: that there may always be food in your home
Bread: that there may always be friends and family to share with
Salt: that there always be a little spice in your lives
Sugar: that sweetness touch even our worst of days
Candles: that you may always find your way back home
Wine: that there may always be reason to celebrate.

[KenveeB]

A friend couldn't make my housewarming party back when I bought my first house. She asked me a little about my color scheme just in the course of conversation, and I mentioned that my kitchen was decorated with sunflowers. She had a big vase of sunflowers delivered the day before the party.