Author Topic: Children's Parties - Goody Bags for guests siblings  (Read 2449 times)

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delabela

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Re: Children's Parties - Goody Bags for guests siblings
« Reply #15 on: March 15, 2013, 08:48:48 PM »
*Oldest niece hates the term 1/2 brother/sister. Quote "There is no 1/2 I love them with my whole heart" so she started using maternal and paternal brother/sister. (She doesn't have any "full" siblings.)

I like this - and I think I will start using it. 

And I agree with sammycat.

Sharnita

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Re: Children's Parties - Goody Bags for guests siblings
« Reply #16 on: March 15, 2013, 09:29:56 PM »
I do think the scenario is probably - kid at party is with dad and related to party people.  His sister is not a child of dad, thus does not visit dad, thus would not go to the party.  Party people i.e. OP and others, still thoughtfully send a bag of goodies because they know it can stink to have one sibling benefit from love, affection and gift from relatives that other sibling does not have.

OP, I think your choice to do this is kind and generous.  It can not completely make up for the inequity that sometimes comes from siblings who have different families but it can sure help to reduce tension, jealousy, guilt and hurt feelings.

Bijou

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Re: Children's Parties - Goody Bags for guests siblings
« Reply #17 on: March 15, 2013, 11:15:53 PM »
I do agree Bad Relative that its odd that half sibling isn't invited. Half Sibling is related to the children having the birthday parties, and gets to watch their siblings leave and come back with tales of a fun birthday party. I mean, it's nice that a goodie bag is sent home for the sibling, but you don't know if the Older Siblings raid it for the good stuff or even give it to the half sibling.

If half sibling is too young to attend or there's problems with their Mother that makes HS attending the parties something that's not going to happen, that's a whole different story of course.
I would invite the other sister or brother to the party as well.
I've never knitted anything I could recognize when it was finished.  Actually, I've never finished anything, much to my family's relief.

snowdragon

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Re: Children's Parties - Goody Bags for guests siblings
« Reply #18 on: March 15, 2013, 11:26:28 PM »
I have no opinion on the goodie bags, but I would be cutting anyone who spoke to me like that about a child from my guest list.

Girlie

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Re: Children's Parties - Goody Bags for guests siblings
« Reply #19 on: March 16, 2013, 11:10:59 AM »
The only rudeness I see here is a guest trying to stick her nose in where it doesn't belong and insulting and making unnecessary demands on her hosts.

SamiHami

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Re: Children's Parties - Goody Bags for guests siblings
« Reply #20 on: March 16, 2013, 02:29:34 PM »
I think complete silence would be a very good response her. I could imagine being so surprised at the comments that a response might fail me. Otherwise, perhaps an "I don't see how it is any of your business" would work.

What have you got? Is it food? Is it for me? I want it whatever it is!

magician5

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Re: Children's Parties - Goody Bags for guests siblings
« Reply #21 on: March 16, 2013, 02:36:02 PM »
I've often wondered "why the insistence on having any goody bags at all?" We didn't have them when I was a kid. Solve the problem in a single stroke: don't do goodie bags! http://www.goodmagic.com/magician/goodie.htm
There is no 'way to peace.' Peace is the way.

Jocelyn

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Re: Children's Parties - Goody Bags for guests siblings
« Reply #22 on: March 17, 2013, 01:27:31 PM »
Another reason a half-sibling might not be invited: The birthday child, and other guests, may be substantially older than the half-sibling. A party that's appropriate for 9 year olds wouldn't be appropriate for 3 year old siblings.
At least when I was a child, I wasn't expected to invite the younger siblings of my friends to my party, although I could imagine my mother sending a party bag home to the younger siblings. Nor was I invited to every party my older sisters were invited to, even if I were friends with younger sisters of the host...a birthday party was designed to appeal to the interests of the birthday child, not be all-inclusive for all the siblings of agemates.

snappylt

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Re: Children's Parties - Goody Bags for guests siblings
« Reply #23 on: March 17, 2013, 01:40:12 PM »
The only rudeness I see here is a guest trying to stick her nose in where it doesn't belong and insulting and making unnecessary demands on her hosts.

POD - I think it is gracious to send a goodie bag to the child, and certainly none of the business of the rude mother who was insulting about it.

*new*mommyagain36

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Re: Children's Parties - Goody Bags for guests siblings
« Reply #24 on: March 18, 2013, 09:23:11 AM »
Maybe I can clarify if there is any confusion:
The "half sibling" - and no, we have never referred to her that way - was born to X's ex-wife after the divorce and with her boyfriend.  For the record, boyfriend is no longer even a part of the picture.  Sibling is related to X's children because they have the same Mom, but not really related to us, X's family as the sibling has a differend Dad altogether.

Also, not sure what the red herring comment is?  Are you saying this child does not exist? 
"Oh people can come up with statistics to prove anything.  14% of people know that" - Homer Simpson

snowdragon

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Re: Children's Parties - Goody Bags for guests siblings
« Reply #25 on: March 18, 2013, 03:15:10 PM »
I think the red herring comment means that the child's parentage should not be an issue. The fact that the OP wants to treat this child as graciously as possible and someone else finds fault with that is the issue. That person would likely find fault no matter who the child was. 

No one is denying the existence of the child.


   

*new*mommyagain36

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Re: Children's Parties - Goody Bags for guests siblings
« Reply #26 on: March 18, 2013, 03:53:13 PM »
OP here.  Sorry, if I did not make myself clear before, I hope my posting cleared up any confusion.

Ah, I see.  Thank you snowdragon.  I didn't quite understand the red herring comment.   :-[

Thank you everyone for your input.  My SIL and I have done this for years and never once had anyone comment negatively until this one SS/parent.  Then we started to question ourselves.  Thanks to everyone for their feedback it is much appreciated.   :)
"Oh people can come up with statistics to prove anything.  14% of people know that" - Homer Simpson