General Etiquette > Family and Children

Child won't return phone calls, texts or emails

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SheryllJane:
My son, 22, has moved from our home far away another city in our country, to take an unpaid internship hoping to get a job within his field.  He graduated from college last June, and has had a great job since that time, with great pay, but was bored silly, so he saved up his money and has moved to other city.  When he lived at home he did not pitch in a lot, only if asked and refused to pay rent, telling us we were taking financial advantage of him.  I know he would eventually move out, and did not want to stir the pot so let it drop.  I also did not have full support from my partner. 

Now that he has gone, if I text him, call or email I do not get a response, and he does not respond to his grandparents either.  He will text partner back on occasion.

I would like more contact, but think I should just not call, etc.  Advice?

MrTango:
Unfortunately, he's an adult living on his own.

Reaching out to him would not be rude (as long as you are sensitive to time-zone differences), but there's really nothing you can do to make him return your calls.

seriously?:
He is 22 that is not a child.  He doesn't have to check in anymore.

WillyNilly:
Does he use Facebook? I find its a nice unobtrusive way to stay in touch.  Know my mom likes it that she can see my and my SIL's (my brother doesn't have FB) to be kept 'in the loop' about our lives without being overbearing.

Make sure when you do call/text/email you aren't nagging and you are asking something in particular. Just asking to hear from him is vague and probably not something he's enticed to anwer. Starting a conversation about a topic he cares about is more likely to get a positive response.

Also bear in mind he might be super busy. He might have taken on a p/t job to help with the unpaid internship, he's exploring a new city, making new friends, and partying like a 22 year old!

citadelle:

--- Quote from: SheryllJane on March 15, 2013, 11:02:37 PM ---My son, 22, has moved from our home far away another city in our country, to take an unpaid internship hoping to get a job within his field.  He graduated from college last June, and has had a great job since that time, with great pay, but was bored silly, so he saved up his money and has moved to other city.  When he lived at home he did not pitch in a lot, only if asked and refused to pay rent, telling us we were taking financial advantage of him.  I know he would eventually move out, and did not want to stir the pot so let it drop.  I also did not have full support from my partner. 

Now that he has gone, if I text him, call or email I do not get a response, and he does not respond to his grandparents either.  He will text partner back on occasion.

I would like more contact, but think I should just not call, etc.  Advice?

--- End quote ---

Did you include the informatin about the chores and his comment about taking financial advantage to indicate that he may be avoiding you for these reasons? Or because it is still bothering you? Or for some other reason?

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