Author Topic: Uncomfortable hospitality (updated throughout/most recent page 8)  (Read 27255 times)

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tiggnduff

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Re: Uncomfortable hospitality (updated throughout/most recent post 120)
« Reply #120 on: August 21, 2013, 08:23:44 PM »
Sorry for the delayed update ;D Time got away from me.  The party went ahead as planned. It was quite well attended and some people traveled quite a distance. It was nice.

FIL did not end up picking up the bar tab. Despite the info being to all those invited that everything was covered it was a cash "bar". I did get the vibe from some that there were confused by the last minute change (I think it was a change FIL made actually when he arrived at the restaruant). No one complained. I mean how do you complain about something like that?

So that left the food to be covered.  The sit down dinner that was the plan all along apparently the day before turned into a buffet dinner consisting of the following: wings, salad and garlic bread. When items ran out they were not replenished. Apparently only so much food was paid for and then that was that.

From what I gather the magnitude and cost of what he was originally planning hit FIL about a week before the event and hence all the drastic changes to the original plan and I'm thinking verbal and email invitations to everyone.

DH and I almost wished he had asked for money in a way  :(. It was still nice to see everyone but I'm not sure if the level of hosting was up to par with what had been somewhat promised during the initial planning. I'm not even sure if everyone got food  :-\

In fact dh and I ended up ordering some food on our own for the kids and paying for it out of pocket as they are not really fans of wings. Hey our choice.

So there it is.....

NyaChan

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Re: Uncomfortable hospitality (updated throughout/most recent page 8)
« Reply #121 on: August 21, 2013, 08:35:58 PM »
Thanks for the update!

tiggnduff

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Re: Uncomfortable hospitality (updated throughout/most recent page 8)
« Reply #122 on: August 21, 2013, 08:37:26 PM »
Just wanted to add that after all it was a nice evening in that it was nice to see so many people we haven't seen in awhile especially all together.

Minmom3

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Re: Uncomfortable hospitality (updated throughout/most recent page 8)
« Reply #123 on: August 21, 2013, 09:07:32 PM »
AND nobody's in the hole for a ton of money already earmarked for other things...  All good, even if the party wasn't as snazzy as planned and touted.
Mother to children and fuzz butts....

Danika

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Re: Uncomfortable hospitality (updated throughout/most recent page 8)
« Reply #124 on: August 22, 2013, 01:04:08 AM »
I know a lot guests were hungry, but actually, it's a very good update. I'm glad that FIL came to his senses and didn't put them in the hole too far. Do you think MIL caught wind of what was going to happen and talked him out of spending all of that?

gramma dishes

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Re: Uncomfortable hospitality (updated throughout/most recent page 8)
« Reply #125 on: August 22, 2013, 10:13:43 AM »
OP ~~  I suspect that your Dad was really surprised that no one 'volunteered' to "help" host (monetarily).  I think it was a good lesson for your Dad.  I'm sorry that some of the guests probably went home hungry and may have been disappointed to learn they had to pay for their own alcoholic beverages, but apparently everyone had a good time just being together which was really the goal in the first place.

I suspect your Dad won't be making such grand plans again.  Lesson learned.  And yet, a good time was had by all.  Perfect ending.

YummyMummy66

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Re: Uncomfortable hospitality (updated throughout/most recent page 8)
« Reply #126 on: August 22, 2013, 11:59:13 AM »
But, the question is, "Was your MIL surprised and did she enjoy herself?"

tiggnduff

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Re: Uncomfortable hospitality (updated throughout/most recent page 8)
« Reply #127 on: August 22, 2013, 02:09:59 PM »
MIL had a wonderful time and was surprised.

Although dh denies it up and down I think there may have been a "discussion" between him and FIL the weekend prior to the event and things finally started to sink in a bit for FIL on the possible costs.  I honestly don't believe that FIL came to the conclusion to adjust things on his own for many reasons (past behaviour and knowing FIL). If it wasn't DH it may have been someone else....

Danika

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Re: Uncomfortable hospitality (updated throughout/most recent page 8)
« Reply #128 on: August 22, 2013, 03:44:11 PM »
MIL had a wonderful time and was surprised.

Although dh denies it up and down I think there may have been a "discussion" between him and FIL the weekend prior to the event and things finally started to sink in a bit for FIL on the possible costs.  I honestly don't believe that FIL came to the conclusion to adjust things on his own for many reasons (past behaviour and knowing FIL). If it wasn't DH it may have been someone else....

Ah. Well, Good and Good, to both paragraphs.

doodlemor

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Re: Uncomfortable hospitality (updated throughout/most recent page 8)
« Reply #129 on: August 23, 2013, 08:18:02 PM »
I'm so relieved for you, tiggnduff.  I was very concerned that you and DH would end up paying for the event.  It sounds like your FIL is willing to learn and change - good for him.

POF

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Re: Uncomfortable hospitality (updated throughout/most recent page 8)
« Reply #130 on: August 23, 2013, 09:37:35 PM »
I'm very happy you are not on a financial hook and that FIL came ot his senses.

 But I keep thinking about the guests who were subjected to a bait and switch.  its one thing to accept an invite to an event where everything is covered and instead have a cash bar and inadequate food.

Frankly - I have no problem with a cash bar of some sort of beverage ( iced tea , lemon aid , wine( maybe ) ) is included.






CakeEater

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Re: Uncomfortable hospitality (updated throughout/most recent page 8)
« Reply #131 on: August 24, 2013, 06:30:34 AM »
I'm very happy you are not on a financial hook and that FIL came ot his senses.

 But I keep thinking about the guests who were subjected to a bait and switch.  its one thing to accept an invite to an event where everything is covered and instead have a cash bar and inadequate food.

Frankly - I have no problem with a cash bar of some sort of beverage ( iced tea , lemon aid , wine( maybe ) ) is included.

Yeah, that's unpleasant as a guest. I'm dead against having a party at measl times and being served inadeuqate food. I'd be pretty annoyed to have come from a long distance, only to discover I was being given wings and salad, and possibly nothing.

That being said, I'm glad for the OP, her DH and her MIL that that's what the guests were served in this particular instance.

TurtleDove

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Re: Uncomfortable hospitality (updated throughout/most recent page 8)
« Reply #132 on: August 24, 2013, 10:34:43 AM »
I am glad people enjoyed their time together! I generally find it petty to nitpick the good and drinks provided at parties. I don't go to parties for that. I go be amuse I want to spend time with the people. Granted, most of the people I spend time with throw great well-catered parties....but in my experience if I don't want to be somewhere or with certain people, no amount of champagne and caviar is enough. And if I do want to celebrate with people I am certainly not focused on whether I got free steak or not. I am focused on "hey! Great to see you!"

Hillia

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Re: Uncomfortable hospitality (updated throughout/most recent page 8)
« Reply #133 on: August 24, 2013, 10:49:06 AM »
To me it's not 'what was served?' but 'was there abundance'?  I don't care if the hospitality the hosts can proffer is steak or pb&j or saltine crackers - just let there be enough.  There is nothing more unpleasant as a guest than looking at the food being served and wondering if there's enough for everyone, and being afraid to take what I'd like because then the folks at the end of the line won't have anything. 

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rain

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Re: Uncomfortable hospitality (updated throughout/most recent page 8)
« Reply #134 on: August 24, 2013, 05:35:08 PM »
sound like FIL got "hit" with the real world - 'bout time
"oh we thank thee lord for the things we need, like the wind and the rain and the apple seed"