General Etiquette > Family and Children

Third (but also first) baby shower

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missmarie:
My brother and his fiancee R & C are expecting a baby in May. It will be his first child but her third. I received a Facebook invitation from my mother (whole other double faux pas!) to a shower in their honor in April.  I expressed some dismay when I next saw my mother about the fact that a baby shower for a third seems a mite tacky. I didn't bother with the Facebook invite or family thrown shower as those hints would go right over her head. I've already declined throwing a shower when my sister offered for obvious reasons.  C's other children are both under five. This whole thing makes me reeaallly uncomfortable and I wonder: if I attend am I condoning my mum's bad manners? To be fair she is planning on inviting family only. And I love my brother and his fiancee.  It just smacks of a gift grab to me. Any suggestions?  I am of course planning on buying their baby a gift! I had just planned on giving it to them at the hospital or something.

bonyk:
A family shower, thrown by family, is fine IMO.  Considering that this is your Brother's first child, I understand your mother's excitement.  I don't really see any evidence of a gift grab, just an excited grandmother-to-be.

Sharnita:
I think that since it is for your family and since it is your brother's first, your mom is OK.  Also, this is her third child but are you certain that both of the previous kids got a shower?  Is it possible #2 didn't?  Would that make you any more comfortable with the process?

Oh Joy:
It's his first, and the event is for his side of,the family.  I'm not too dismayed.  Could you focus on it being your brother's first?  Give a new dad survival book, or clothes saying 'handsome like daddy', or some item you know he wants or needs?

Best wishes to the growing family.

Roe:
This is your brother's first baby.  Be excited for them.

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