And that is the flipside of the phrase many people find maddening "thier dad is babysitting". If a dad isn't entitled to be treated as a parent in the manner a mom is, it is no wonder they (and sosciety) frequently fail to see themselves that way.
(And does that mean women who can't give birth and are adopting don't qualify for a shower?)
Oh, please. If getting gifts is what makes a dad be a parent, it's a pretty poor person he is. Frankly I see all of these scenario's as just an excuse to get more stuff out of friends and family.
And no I don't think bachelorette parties are appropriate.
And no it doesn't mean women who adopt can't have showers, some woman gave birth to that kid, so as long as it's one per woman per transition there are no issues.
Ah ha, but what if a woman gives birth to TWO siblings, born a few years apart. Both of these siblings are adopted by different, unrelated women (as their first child each). BOTH of those women are given showers for their new adopted child. But that means it's two showers being given when only one woman gave birth!
Of course that is ridiculous. Because what is being celebrated is not the physical birth, but rather 'the transition to parenthood'. Which fathers experience as well as mothers.
And I just have to clarify - Are you saying that bachelorette parties are totally inappropriate, but bachelor parties are totally fine? Because I find that view absolutely fascinating. However do you justify it?
ETA: And what about joint bachelor/bachelorettes? Is that ok because she's just tagging along on the 'proper' event of a bachelor party? Or still atrocious because how dare a woman be celebrated in that manner? And what about co-ed wedding showers?