Author Topic: Too early to the party/update #53  (Read 7687 times)

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sammycat

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Re: Too early to the party/ update
« Reply #60 on: April 02, 2013, 08:59:16 PM »
My co-host, told me that the early arriver told her that the GOH had requested she get there early to sort of make sure we had everything under control. Now, I'm not exactly sure how to take this.

Why would you read anything negative into this?  To me it just sounds like the guest of honour suggested she showed up early in case you needed extra help.  Nothing nefarious about that -- they were both probably trying to be helpful.

Because it's an insult to imply that the OP, a clearly experienced host, needs someone to make sure that everything is under control. I would be highly put out if someone did something like that to me. I wouldn't mind if they asked if I needed help, but just showing up like that is insulting. The GOH is not in control and would be very much out of line to add someone to the hosting mix at the last minute.

I agree with artk2002. I"d be very insulted and annoyed by this.

WillyNilly

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Re: Too early to the party/update #53
« Reply #61 on: April 02, 2013, 09:09:35 PM »
I absolutely understand the insult.

But perhaps think of it in this way - often we treat people the way we would like to be treated ourselves. The (GOH) might not have been implying so much OP was a lacking hostess, as subtly admitting she (the GOH) is lacking herself. The GOH might have thought "oh my gosh, I know I always forget something or mis-time my planning, I always wish I had that last minute set of extra hands... Jill do me a solid would you?  Check in on the lades half an hour earlier, and make sure they are ok, please? I don't want them stressing like I always do."

Its that classic thing about how sometimes your actions speak more loudly about your self then about the subject you are addressing.

Surianne

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Re: Too early to the party/update #53
« Reply #62 on: April 02, 2013, 10:36:08 PM »
Yes, I think WillyNilly has a good point, and I'm also thinking if the GOH is close enough to you that you're throwing her a party, wouldn't it make sense to think the best of her, rather than assume she's being deliberately insulting?  It seems more likely that she asked someone to help you out because she was trying to be kind. 

lowspark

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Re: Too early to the party/ update
« Reply #63 on: April 03, 2013, 08:19:15 AM »
...wouldn't it make sense to think the best of her, rather than assume she's being deliberately insulting? 

Surianne,
that's why I said:

In the light of day, as I type this out, it could have been pretty innocent and of course I'll give her the benefit of the doubt

I never said or even thought that she was being deliberately insulting. I have no idea where you got that idea.

Thanks artk2002 & others who understood where I was coming from. You got it exactly right.

bopper

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Re: Too early to the party/update #53
« Reply #64 on: April 04, 2013, 10:20:36 AM »
I don't know if it is rude, per se, but the early guest can't get mad if you still have stuff to do.
They can either help, sit in the kitchen while you finish up or sit in the living room by themselves until you are ready.

Surianne

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Re: Too early to the party/ update
« Reply #65 on: April 04, 2013, 03:38:36 PM »
...wouldn't it make sense to think the best of her, rather than assume she's being deliberately insulting? 

Surianne,
that's why I said:

In the light of day, as I type this out, it could have been pretty innocent and of course I'll give her the benefit of the doubt

I never said or even thought that she was being deliberately insulting. I have no idea where you got that idea.

Thanks artk2002 & others who understood where I was coming from. You got it exactly right.

Thanks for clarifying, Lowspark.  I was getting a very hurt/angry tone from your posts and those agreeing with you about the insult, so I'm glad to hear that's not the case.  Hard to read tone on the internet sometimes. 

EllenS

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Re: Too early to the party/update #53
« Reply #66 on: April 04, 2013, 03:53:36 PM »
I have a funny story about early guests.  When DH and I were newlyweds, we were hosting a small get-together at our tiny city apartment, and the guests included the new pastor of our church (an older man/experienced pastor, but new to our church), and his wife.

Due to the long trip required on public transportation, they arrived about 15 minutes early.  Now, about 20 minutes before the start time, DH and I realized we had been so busy getting the apartment/food ready, neither of us had showered or dressed. We decided to double-up and "save time and water".

About 5 minutes later we realize the doorbell is ringing and someone is knocking.  While I go to peer around the door in my towel, sopping wet, DH is scooting through the bedroom/sitting room in his towel, grabbing clothes.  Pastor took one look and said, "We'll come back later."  I wanted to shout, "no, really!  cleanliness, that's it!" But of course, that would have just made it worse.

TootsNYC

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Re: Too early to the party/ update
« Reply #67 on: April 07, 2013, 05:26:47 PM »
My co-host, told me that the early arriver told her that the GOH had requested she get there early to sort of make sure we had everything under control. Now, I'm not exactly sure how to take this.

Why would you read anything negative into this?  To me it just sounds like the guest of honour suggested she showed up early in case you needed extra help.  Nothing nefarious about that -- they were both probably trying to be helpful.

Early Bird may have also asked to arrive early, or asked if there was anything she could do to help. And GoH may have said, "well, they have it under control, but if you want to arrive early, they maybe could use an extra set of hands," and it came out of Early Bird's mouth differently.