Author Topic: Funeral parking  (Read 3885 times)

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perpetua

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Re: Funeral parking
« Reply #15 on: March 18, 2013, 05:54:52 PM »
I snagged one of the few remaining spaces left, but how rude would it have been to park in one on the blocked-off spaces? 

I don't know if it's rude, per se, but I'd consider it rather uncharitable. However bad the parking is, you're not having as bad a day as the funeral-goers.

But then I still remember a time when people stopped and took their hats off to show respect for a funeral procession.

jaxsue

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Re: Funeral parking
« Reply #16 on: March 18, 2013, 06:00:48 PM »
I snagged one of the few remaining spaces left, but how rude would it have been to park in one on the blocked-off spaces? 

I don't know if it's rude, per se, but I'd consider it rather uncharitable. However bad the parking is, you're not having as bad a day as the funeral-goers.

But then I still remember a time when people stopped and took their hats off to show respect for a funeral procession.

I pull over to the side of the road for funeral processions, and I seem to be in the minority. But, as I said, currently I am disabled and simply cannot park far from my destination. When I get back to "normal," then I can.

Sharnita

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Re: Funeral parking
« Reply #17 on: March 18, 2013, 06:17:06 PM »
In OP's case I am not sure if she has mobility  issues.  If she is concerned about elderly people who do I suppose one option would actually be to park further away and leave the close, unreserved spaces for them.  There is also the option of asking the priest for advice about what to do should it happen in the future. Perhaps there might even be a church member who could park the car for somebody like jaxsue if there is a premium on parking. I do agree that it seems uncharitable to park in those spots, especially as you are heading to mass. This is not something that happens regulalry so when church members are asked to make concessions so people in their community can have a funeral, refusing reflects badly on the individuals and the entire church. 


Outdoor Girl

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Re: Funeral parking
« Reply #18 on: March 18, 2013, 06:18:14 PM »
My hometown funeral home that is in town will put out signs on the street right in front of the funeral home.  But they only put out a few - just enough for the family vehicles.  I think that is OK but to take up the majority of the spots on the street?  Not cool.
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mmswm

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Re: Funeral parking
« Reply #19 on: March 18, 2013, 06:36:31 PM »
I wonder if it is s local dignitary or somebody else who would have more aattendance than is typical.

Does it matter? They are still intruding on church time much more than necessary. Maybe a little bit before the funeral might be more appropriate, but I'm not even sure about that. Maybe hire a school parking lot and minibus shuttle  if it is all that big a deal!

It always ticks me off when someone gets special treatment because he is 'important', but I certainly understand that it could cause a rukus when there are crowds and people get upset with how they are treated.

City streets are for all and can't be reserved.

Actually, they can be.  City streets are frequently blocked off/reserved for parades, protests, street parties, etc. Heck, the capitol city of a large state closed down a fairly large chunk of their downtown area for a parade in honor of my uncle when he passed away a year ago, so the concept of closing streets for such things doesn't strike me as odd in the least.  Of course the people doing the blocking must obtain proper permits, but I've never heard of a city that didn't have at least some sort of process for obtaining them.

Now, whether or not this funeral home had permits to block the street parking is a completely different issue.  I think if it was just a one time thing, I'd forget about it.  If it becomes a habit, then I'd inquire as to the legality of what they're doing and file a complaint if necessary.
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jaxsue

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Re: Funeral parking
« Reply #20 on: March 18, 2013, 06:48:54 PM »
In OP's case I am not sure if she has mobility  issues.  If she is concerned about elderly people who do I suppose one option would actually be to park further away and leave the close, unreserved spaces for them.  There is also the option of asking the priest for advice about what to do should it happen in the future. Perhaps there might even be a church member who could park the car for somebody like jaxsue if there is a premium on parking. I do agree that it seems uncharitable to park in those spots, especially as you are heading to mass. This is not something that happens regulalry so when church members are asked to make concessions so people in their community can have a funeral, refusing reflects badly on the individuals and the entire church.

I just thought of this: they could reserve normal spaces, but they couldn't reserve the handicapped spaces - at least I don't believe so. Honestly, I'll be so grateful when I don't need that placard!  :P

kherbert05

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Re: Funeral parking
« Reply #21 on: March 18, 2013, 07:39:08 PM »
I assume that this funeral home is not a newly opened business and has been in operation for a while and yet this doesn't sound as though it has happened before. I wonder if family/friends of the deceased are responsible for the parking signs instead of the FH. Unless it happens again, I wouldn't report anything to the police or FH. But if it does, a call to the non-emergency police line would at least let you know if they have a permit for their parking rules. Otherwise it's not rude to park there.
Agreed or there might be  a new manager, or an maybe they expected an unusual number of mourners. If it happens again I would inquire if they have a valid permit to block off the street.

I think there needs to be an added sensitivity due to the nature of funerals. That doesn't mean the funeral home gets to break the rules. It actually means they need to make sure all rules are followed, so that the family/mourners are not put in a situation where a  confrontation could occur. (We were shocked at how many people showed up for Dad's Memorial Service - especially because we had 2 one in San Angelo where he was living, and one here in Houston where he grew up and his family has lived for 3 generations. Thankfully the churches were prepared and made sure that parking didn't become an issue for those around either church)

OP

Do parents tend to park and block off that street to walk in and get their kids so they can cut the drop off/pick up line? Or do they have a 1/2 day program of any sort? You wouldn't believe what some parents will do to avoid having to sit in the pick up line.

My gut response is that maybe school dismissal and funerals have been having a problem with conflicting traffic flows. So the funeral home might have been trying to give the parents a heads up and avoid problems. (That doesn't make it right if they don't have a permit. They, the school, and church need to work together. )
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baglady

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Re: Funeral parking
« Reply #22 on: March 18, 2013, 09:03:03 PM »
I wonder if it is s local dignitary or somebody else who would have more aattendance than is typical.

<snipped>
It always ticks me off when someone gets special treatment because he is 'important', but I certainly understand that it could cause a rukus when there are crowds and people get upset with how they are treated.

I agree, but in Sharnita's defense, she did say "dignitary or somebody else who would have more attendance than is typical." There are all kinds of reasons why one person's funeral might attract a bigger crowd than another's. Funerals for teenagers tend to be crowded, because you get their school friends, the friends' parents, the co-workers of the deceased's parents, etc., in addition to the relatives. Whereas the funeral for, say, a childless 90-year-old widow(er) might only draw a handful of nieces and nephews, grandnieces and nephews, neighbors and friends. Neither of them is more "important" than the other.

The fact that this is the first time OP has encountered this has me thinking it's one of the following scenarios:

A. This particular funeral did attract more mourners than usual;
B. There was more than one funeral going on at the same time (many funeral homes can accommodate two or more);
C. The funeral home, being next to a Catholic church, tends to have mostly Catholic funerals, which don't often attract a large crowd to the home all at once. In my experience the wake (calling hours) are held at the funeral home (people are in and out), and the funeral is a Mass in a church held a day or two later. I've been to exactly one Catholic funeral service in my life that was not a Mass -- it was held at the funeral home after the calling hours.

I think the gracious thing to do, if you absolutely, positively can't find a parking spot, is to (if feasible) go to another church for Mass that day, or give up and go home. I respect the spiritual commitment involved in going to daily Mass, but there are good reasons to forgo it for a day, such as illness, and IMO respecting the needs of the grieving counts as one.
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Promise

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Re: Funeral parking
« Reply #23 on: March 18, 2013, 09:14:16 PM »
I would have offered this incident up as a small sacrifice and have been willing to walk further so that an elderly person could have an extra spot. I might have spoken to the priest or someone at the church to make a call to the funeral home about the situation to inquire as to what time they expect people to arrive. The church authority could request that they move the parking markers for the time being. Or you could have offered to park people's cars at the further parking spots that were far away so that they wouldn't have to walk and then get their car for them after mass - curbside service.

Luci

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Re: Funeral parking
« Reply #24 on: March 19, 2013, 01:36:47 AM »
I wonder if it is s local dignitary or somebody else who would have more aattendance than is typical.

Does it matter? They are still intruding on church time much more than necessary. Maybe a little bit before the funeral might be more appropriate, but I'm not even sure about that. Maybe hire a school parking lot and minibus shuttle  if it is all that big a deal!

It always ticks me off when someone gets special treatment because he is 'important', but I certainly understand that it could cause a rukus when there are crowds and people get upset with how they are treated.

City streets are for all and can't be reserved.
I disagree. I don't think of those instances as saying one person is "better" or more "important" it's just a practical matter of crowd control. If the FH knows that the funeral of a celebrity, for instance, is likely to draw many more people than usual, they could get a permit with the city, or arrange with the police, to close off certain streets or control traffic -- to know there is potential for chaotic or dangerous circumstances and do nothing to try to head it off is irresponsible to not only the funeral attendees, but the general public as well.

Also, why would public street parking for the church be any more special than street parking for the funeral home?

It isn't more special for the church or the funeral home. That is my point.
I wonder if it is s local dignitary or somebody else who would have more aattendance than is typical.

<snipped>
It always ticks me off when someone gets special treatment because he is 'important', but I certainly understand that it could cause a rukus when there are crowds and people get upset with how they are treated.

I think the gracious thing to do, if you absolutely, positively can't find a parking spot, is to (if feasible) go to another church for Mass that day, or give up and go home. I respect the spiritual commitment involved in going to daily Mass, but there are good reasons to forgo it for a day, such as illness, and IMO respecting the needs of the grieving counts as one.

Wow! I  totally do not agree that someone should abandon her home church, or home in my case, for something like that!

One's church is like a family. Really, would you go to another family's Thanksgiving dinner because you couldn't park at your family's home?

Sorry I had to post in red, but things are getting really involved here.


Yup. Green still stands out and seems more polite. Thanks, Sharnita, for mentioning that in the following post.
« Last Edit: March 19, 2013, 09:45:14 AM by Luci45 »

Sharnita

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Re: Funeral parking
« Reply #25 on: March 19, 2013, 07:17:22 AM »
Th red really isn't required.  I do get the home church thing and no, I don't think I'd particularly travel to another church. I don't think that you need to post in red to respond to the question.  I don't think that parking in the "reserved" spots were the only way for OP to go to her home church, either for that matter.  It did sound like she might have had to walk further had she not snagged one of the last close spots.  But she did snag one of the last close spots.  She was a bit worried that an elderly person might not get a close spot but she doesn't know that it was a problem for anyone and she didn't choose to leave her close spot incase one of them needed it.  that is fine - as far as we know not a single person at mass had a problem.

Her concerns are about theoretical problems that never were an issue for her and only might have been an issue for some other person. 

cutejellybeen

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Re: Funeral parking
« Reply #26 on: March 19, 2013, 07:58:35 AM »
My Church doesnt have a parking lot - we share with teh post office. so on Sundays the street is lined with cars on both sides. Same for weddings and Funerals. My Church on sundays before service will put out a "reserved for handicap sticker" post or two in front of the church. They do the same for Funerals and Weddings - just so that the lead cars do have places to park.

I guess where things like this are so common where I live that I'd never think anything of it!  Even in our uptown area (we use uptown vs downtown) I've seen these signs put out by the church or funeral home and ive never heard of it being an issue.



bopper

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Re: Funeral parking
« Reply #27 on: March 19, 2013, 09:29:02 AM »
If this starts to become an ongoing issue, I would talk to the people at the church and ask that they talk to the funeral home to come up with a solution.

baglady

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Re: Funeral parking
« Reply #28 on: March 21, 2013, 01:21:57 AM »
I wonder if it is s local dignitary or somebody else who would have more aattendance than is typical.

Does it matter? They are still intruding on church time much more than necessary. Maybe a little bit before the funeral might be more appropriate, but I'm not even sure about that. Maybe hire a school parking lot and minibus shuttle  if it is all that big a deal!

It always ticks me off when someone gets special treatment because he is 'important', but I certainly understand that it could cause a rukus when there are crowds and people get upset with how they are treated.

City streets are for all and can't be reserved.
I disagree. I don't think of those instances as saying one person is "better" or more "important" it's just a practical matter of crowd control. If the FH knows that the funeral of a celebrity, for instance, is likely to draw many more people than usual, they could get a permit with the city, or arrange with the police, to close off certain streets or control traffic -- to know there is potential for chaotic or dangerous circumstances and do nothing to try to head it off is irresponsible to not only the funeral attendees, but the general public as well.

Also, why would public street parking for the church be any more special than street parking for the funeral home?

It isn't more special for the church or the funeral home. That is my point.
I wonder if it is s local dignitary or somebody else who would have more aattendance than is typical.

<snipped>
It always ticks me off when someone gets special treatment because he is 'important', but I certainly understand that it could cause a rukus when there are crowds and people get upset with how they are treated.

I think the gracious thing to do, if you absolutely, positively can't find a parking spot, is to (if feasible) go to another church for Mass that day, or give up and go home. I respect the spiritual commitment involved in going to daily Mass, but there are good reasons to forgo it for a day, such as illness, and IMO respecting the needs of the grieving counts as one.

Wow! I  totally do not agree that someone should abandon her home church, or home in my case, for something like that!

One's church is like a family. Really, would you go to another family's Thanksgiving dinner because you couldn't park at your family's home?

Sorry I had to post in red, but things are getting really involved here.


Yup. Green still stands out and seems more polite. Thanks, Sharnita, for mentioning that in the following post.

Without getting into a theological discussion, I made the suggestion of going to Mass at another church because that was fairly common in my experience growing up Catholic. If you were obligated -- or simply wanted -- to attend Mass on a given day, and it wasn't feasible for you to go to your home church for whatever reason, you went to another. It's definitely not comparable to barging in on someone else's family dinner. Masses are open to all; family dinners aren't.
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delabela

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Re: Funeral parking
« Reply #29 on: March 21, 2013, 02:15:10 AM »
My inclination would be to respect the funeral home's sign, as I am able bodied and can park farther away.  Maybe I can help give the mourners a small convenience that makes a terrible day a little more bearable.  I can also see someone going ahead and using the spot if they are not able to walk a longer distance, and I don't think that would be wrong or unkind.