I think if I were a GE looking to stay on your couch, and were a reasonable person, I would *not* be offended if your DH said, when I called to ask, "Sure, I think we can put you up. I need to touch base with my wife, look at the family calendar, etc. And I'll send you our rules and guidelines by email."
I'd assume that you'd had some people like Joe, or that you'd heard stories about people like Joe.
And I'd feel a bit reassured, actually, to know that you *expected* me to join you for cereal and milk, and that you did *not* expect me to cut short my night at the event in order to come back to sit and socialize with you.
You could tell me how you expect the shower usage to work out, so I didn't feel awkward when I asked.
All good things for me, the reasonable, considerate, and grateful couch-surfer.
You can incorporate all sorts of useful stuff, too--website w/ city map; names and phone numbers of cab companies; info on bus routes, subway/rail lines; guide to nearby gas stations, convenience stores, grocery stores.
Any of that positive stuff will certainly offset the negative stuff.
And the negative stuff doesn't have to be scoldy: "you are on your own for lunch and supper" tells me I don't have an obligation to socialize with you just as readily as it tells me that I have to pay for it myself.