Author Topic: Obligations to houseguest. (Long) small update #63 final update #72  (Read 14738 times)

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Midnight Kitty

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Re: Obligations to houseguest. (Long)
« Reply #60 on: March 21, 2013, 12:54:08 AM »
Perhaps some of the perks should be X amount of dollars for food or transport each day rather than product, ect
According to the OP, he had that choice.  He chose to mooch and go for free product. >:(

I think there have been some excellent wording suggestions.  I gotta say, I would have been speechless.  I sure wouldn't dig in my wallet to fund his fun day while I worked.  The clarifications provided by the OP in later posts help explain why her husband allowed this guy to surf their couch in the first place, but he clearly needs some spinal support.

As I have said elsewhere, we own a tiny condo in Waikiki.  We'll help family and friends get hotel rooms nearby or even, with sufficient notice in the off-season, a studio in our building.  We don't have a "guest room" and we don't have a couch.  On purpose. >:D
"The first rule is to keep an untroubled spirit.  The second is to look things in the face and know them for what they are."

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Piratelvr1121

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Re: Obligations to houseguest. (Long)
« Reply #61 on: March 22, 2013, 09:23:26 AM »
I have to say, whenever I see this topic in my list of updated threads, I can't help but read "Objections to houseguest" which seems about right. ;)
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.  You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata

reflection5

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Re: Obligations to houseguest. (Long)
« Reply #62 on: March 23, 2013, 09:39:40 PM »
I just read this entire thread.  Incredible.  Going out of town with no money makes no sense, and can even be unsafe.

The intrusion into your bedroom was creepy and rude.

The way he finangled at the drive thru was something I'd expect from a 10 yr old.

OP, I think you and your DH went over and above board with this guy.

SiotehCat

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Re: Obligations to houseguest. (Long)
« Reply #63 on: March 26, 2013, 12:31:35 PM »
My DH went to an "out of town" tournament this last weekend. Joe was there, but DH didn't speak to him much because it was a very busy weekend for DH.

However, DH did run into other GE's at a fast food place when the tournament was over. One of them knew that DH had hosted Joe the other weekend and he told DH a story.

Apparently, they were sharing a room with Joe for the weekend, but ended up kicking him out after the first night. He had tried to get them to buy him food because he was broke, but that didn't work. But the thing that got him kicked out is that he kept walking around in his underwear. One of the GE's girlfriend was there, so that wasn't appreciated and they kicked him out.

When speaking to DH about this later, he told me that he is very sad for Joe. Joe really got to him and he feels nothing but sympathy for him. I can talk to DH about Joe for hours, but he will still never stay in my house again. DH knows this.


JenJay

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Re: Obligations to houseguest. (Long) small update #63
« Reply #64 on: March 26, 2013, 12:49:33 PM »
I can appreciate why your DH feels sympathy for Joe, being that there seem to be mental health issues at play. I hope he understands and (fully!) supports why Joe isn't welcome in your home. Mooching is bad enough but the lack of appropriate boundaries is a definite deal breaker.  :-\

reflection5

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Re: Obligations to houseguest. (Long) small update #63
« Reply #65 on: March 26, 2013, 12:50:23 PM »
Interesting update.  Joe sounds like a real piece of work.   ::)

(After reading the thread, I suspected that Joe does a lot of mooching.  But walking around in his underwear = eeewww.)
« Last Edit: March 26, 2013, 12:52:16 PM by reflection5 »

strawbabies

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Re: Obligations to houseguest. (Long)
« Reply #66 on: March 26, 2013, 01:16:24 PM »
When speaking to DH about this later, he told me that he is very sad for Joe. Joe really got to him and he feels nothing but sympathy for him.
Joe is not some innocent little puppy.  He may have some sort of disorder, but he still uses other people intentionally.  And he's creepy.

siamesecat2965

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Re: Obligations to houseguest. (Long)
« Reply #67 on: March 26, 2013, 01:40:45 PM »
When speaking to DH about this later, he told me that he is very sad for Joe. Joe really got to him and he feels nothing but sympathy for him.
Joe is not some innocent little puppy.  He may have some sort of disorder, but he still uses other people intentionally.  And he's creepy.

That's my take on things too. Whether or not he has "issues" he's still a moocher. And if he doens't have any money, he shouldn't be attending these tournements. Plain and simple.

Tea Drinker

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Re: Obligations to houseguest. (Long)
« Reply #68 on: March 26, 2013, 09:51:07 PM »
When speaking to DH about this later, he told me that he is very sad for Joe. Joe really got to him and he feels nothing but sympathy for him.
Joe is not some innocent little puppy.  He may have some sort of disorder, but he still uses other people intentionally.  And he's creepy.

Agreed.

I'm a casual nudist, given my druthers. If I am discussing sharing a room with someone at a con, I mention this ahead of time, so they can find another roommate if they prefer. If someone was giving me space in their room for free, I would ask ahead of time how they felt about skin, but if they were at all hesitant, I would pack and wear pajamas. But I don't go naked to get a reaction: most of the time that I'm naked I'm asleep, alone, or both. Assuming that near-nudity is okay in a group of people he doesn't know well--and especially in a mixed-gender group--is boundary-pushing. He's either incredibly clueless, or didn't ask because asking gives people the chance to say no.
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sammycat

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Re: Obligations to houseguest. (Long)
« Reply #69 on: March 26, 2013, 11:46:51 PM »
Whether or not he has "issues" he's still a moocher. And if he doens't have any money, he shouldn't be attending these tournements. Plain and simple.

Exactly.

LeveeWoman

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Re: Obligations to houseguest. (Long) small update #63
« Reply #70 on: March 27, 2013, 12:03:25 AM »
This person wouldn't know a boundary if it bit him in his clue-less bacon-fed knave.

lakey

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Re: Obligations to houseguest. (Long) small update #63
« Reply #71 on: March 27, 2013, 12:38:37 AM »
This guy walked into your bedroom without knocking? Eeek. Maybe I'm overly cautious, but if these are people you don't know, I wouldn't feel comfortable with complete strangers staying in my home.

SiotehCat

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Re: Obligations to houseguest. (Long) small update #63
« Reply #72 on: March 31, 2013, 01:48:49 PM »
I didn't think I would ever be updating this again, especially not so soon.

We received an email from Joe this morning asking if he can crash at our place next month.

There is no event in our area, but his plane has a layover in our area. He says that it will arrive at 10:30 am (on a weekday).

I helped DH send a response right away. I suggested "I'm afraid that wont be possible", but DH modified it to "Unfortunately, that won't be possible". He also said that he enjoyed working with him at such and such event and wishes him well in the future.


NyaChan

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Re: Obligations to houseguest. (Long) small update #63
« Reply #73 on: March 31, 2013, 01:50:19 PM »
I didn't think I would ever be updating this again, especially not so soon.

We received an email from Joe this morning asking if he can crash at our place next month.

There is no event in our area, but his plane has a layover in our area. He says that it will arrive at 10:30 am (on a weekday).

I helped DH send a response right away. I suggested "I'm afraid that wont be possible", but DH modified it to "Unfortunately, that won't be possible". He also said that he enjoyed working with him at such and such event and wishes him well in the future.

 :o  This guy is really something else - Good for you in turning him away!

reflection5

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Re: Obligations to houseguest. (Long) small update #63 final update #72
« Reply #74 on: March 31, 2013, 02:00:26 PM »
Good for you an DH.   :)