Author Topic: How to politely say 'I don't like that at all'  (Read 5367 times)

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Miss Unleaded

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How to politely say 'I don't like that at all'
« on: March 19, 2013, 01:07:09 PM »
So a friend of mine likes to give me recommendations for books, games and music he likes.  Sometimes I really love the things he recommends, and sometimes I don't.

The problem is that often he won't take 'I don't like it' or 'It doesn't grab my interest' for an answer, and then he'll keep pressing me.  For example, he recently recommended a computer game which I didn't think I'd like.  And every few days he would ask me again 'have you played that game yet?'  Eventually I caved and bought the game, played it for about fifteen minutes and decided I didn't like it.  It actually irritated me, partly because of the game itself but also because I felt like I'd been given a homework assignment to do instead of a fun thing.

The next time he asked, I told him the things I didn't like, and said I wasn't interested in continuing to play it.  He emailed me back telling me that I hadn't given the game a fair chance, and argued with me that I was wrong and that he would 'help me' get through the difficult parts.  ::)  And that if, after he 'helps me' I still don't like it, then it would be my loss.  ???  I beandipped.

I know he's going to raise the subject again.  I'd really like some polite phrases to communicate that I'm not interested in it, and that I don't believe that it's a failing on my part that I don't like something that he enjoys.  Everything I think of comes across as rude.

heartmug

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Re: How to politely say 'I don't like that at all'
« Reply #1 on: March 19, 2013, 01:14:21 PM »
Thank you anyway, but I am just not interested.

Repeat it over and over again.  Or if need be:

Thank you but I have to go right now.  (and then cut off the conversation)
One option in a tug of war with someone is just to drop the rope.

Mikayla

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Re: How to politely say 'I don't like that at all'
« Reply #2 on: March 19, 2013, 01:19:53 PM »
"Please don't keep bringing this up.  I've made it clear I'm not interested, and when you ignore that and keep trying to push it on me, it just becomes awkward.  Thanks."

lowspark

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Re: How to politely say 'I don't like that at all'
« Reply #3 on: March 19, 2013, 01:47:51 PM »
I would say something like "please don't insist."

Or, if you want to qualify it better, "I've thought about it and and I'm not interested. Please don't insist."
And then just keep saying "please don't insist" every time he brings it up.

citadelle

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Re: How to politely say 'I don't like that at all'
« Reply #4 on: March 19, 2013, 01:50:41 PM »
I would say something like "please don't insist."

Or, if you want to qualify it better, "I've thought about it and and I'm not interested. Please don't insist."
And then just keep saying "please don't insist" every time he brings it up.

Thank you for introducing me to Boring Game. I appreciate your offer to help, but I am not interested. If that is my loss, so be it.

BeagleMommy

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Re: How to politely say 'I don't like that at all'
« Reply #5 on: March 19, 2013, 02:02:36 PM »
"I tried the game and didn't like it.  Different people like different things.  That's why there are so many choices"

siamesecat2965

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Re: How to politely say 'I don't like that at all'
« Reply #6 on: March 19, 2013, 02:31:27 PM »
I hate when people do that. I don't like many things my friends do, tv shows, books, movies etc. and my standard answer is either "its not my cup of tea" or "i tried it but its not my style" or something along those lines.  I'd find it very annoying if someone kept harping on me about something I had already said I don't care for.

My one friend does that with food.  Specifically sweet potatoes, which I don't like. I just don't care for the taste. She tried to tell me I just had never had them prepared correctly. Um no, I've had them mashed, baked, fries, chips, alone, with marshmallows etc. I don't like ANY of them.

TootsNYC

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Re: How to politely say 'I don't like that at all'
« Reply #7 on: March 19, 2013, 02:41:14 PM »
He's your friend.

Why not just say in amazement, "why are you pressuring me about this? Why do you care so much? I tried it, and I don't like it, please stop badgering me! [Or: I really don't think I'll like it, and I just don't have a ton of leisure time to spend on the idea of taking a risk! Stop badgering me."]

And in fact, feel free to end the conversation quite abruptly when he does this.

If he wants to talk to you, he'll figure out not to hound you over it.

Say, "I really don't want to be talked at about this. This is not an enjoyable conversation--I feel pressured. I'm hanging up now. Bye!" Click.

johelenc1

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Re: How to politely say 'I don't like that at all'
« Reply #8 on: March 19, 2013, 03:01:21 PM »
Also, next time, I would also ask to borrow whatever new and exciting game he is sure you will love instead of blowing money instead on a game you might not like.  If he can't lend it to you, then the easy answer is, "I'm not spending money on something I don't think I'll like."  If you do borrow it and don't like it, when you give it back to him the ability to "try it again" will be impossible.  Just be sure to make sure you are firm when he tries to insist you keep it "a little while longer...."

TootsNYC

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Re: How to politely say 'I don't like that at all'
« Reply #9 on: March 19, 2013, 03:15:53 PM »
Also, remember what it is you REALLY want. You don't really want him to believe you--you  just want to stop wasting your time talking about or (or, listening to him talk about it).

So say that.

That's why I suggested you just get off the phone as fast as you can. then you don't have to worry what he thinks, or what he's saying. You're not in t ]he conversation anymore!

Sophie Jenkins

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Re: How to politely say 'I don't like that at all'
« Reply #10 on: March 19, 2013, 07:04:33 PM »
When a good friend of my husband got it into his head that I needed to learn how to play Magic: The Gathering and that it would be the Best Thing Ever! for me if he sat down to teach me for hours and hours, I had good luck with: "Dude, I'm not interested. You guys play, have fun, and I'll pass."

*inviteseller

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Re: How to politely say 'I don't like that at all'
« Reply #11 on: March 19, 2013, 07:20:37 PM »
I know someone like this too.  Sometimes I agreed with the recommendations, and sometimes I didn't.  But if I didn't, she seemed to take it personally that I would not agree that it was the best movie/book/song/recipe ever.  I think it is that they loved it so much, they are shocked that others don't enjoy it just as much.  What somewhat worked for me was to say "Thanks for the suggestion, I tried it and it wasn't my cup of tea"  overandoverandover...

The Wild One, Forever

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Re: How to politely say 'I don't like that at all'
« Reply #12 on: March 19, 2013, 07:26:52 PM »
I run into this with my son, sometimes.  He loves sharing music he likes with me, (and I am so glad that my sixteen year old child still enjoys sharing things he enjoys with his old mama)    ;D  I like enough of what he introduces me to that I'm OK being honest when I find a band to be a dud or not to my taste.  What I do, which could work for you, is say something to the effect of, "Arcade Fire didn't really grab me, but I am totally loving Tame Impala! Thanks for the heads-up!"  In other words, couch it in positive terms of something you did like that he had also recommended to you. 

If he persists, just remind him that not everyone is going to like the same stuff.  Or, maybe give him a recommendation of your own.
Soft silly music is meaningful, magical

Bijou

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Re: How to politely say 'I don't like that at all'
« Reply #13 on: March 19, 2013, 07:38:23 PM »
"As my friend you probably want to know this:  I don't mind you suggesting things to me, but it does bother me to have you push issues.    If I am interested I will follow up."
I've never knitted anything I could recognize when it was finished.  Actually, I've never finished anything, much to my family's relief.

Raintree

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Re: How to politely say 'I don't like that at all'
« Reply #14 on: March 19, 2013, 10:10:29 PM »
I have a friend like this. I've taken to the one word sentence "No" if a simple, "I'm not interested" fails to work.