Author Topic: I Cannot Violate Federal Law Because Your Wife is "Special"  (Read 8114 times)

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LazyDaisy

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Re: I Cannot Violate Federal Law Because Your Wife is "Special"
« Reply #30 on: March 20, 2013, 02:50:56 PM »
I don't think "discussing" it further is what he wants anyway FERPA or not. He just wants you to wave your hand and readmit her on the spot, and probably waive the requirement that she complete her internships too, because they were so difficult for her.
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WillyNilly

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Re: I Cannot Violate Federal Law Because Your Wife is "Special"
« Reply #31 on: March 20, 2013, 03:07:18 PM »
I'm a bit confused... but did you ever actually tell him you cannot disclosed information or that what he was asking for was a violation of a law?  Its not like everyone just magically knows.  I had never heard of FERPA before this thread and I'm in college currently have been consistently in and out at least every 3 years for the last 19 years. Its never been something that was mentioned to me (or based on this thread relevant to me) so I honestly had no idea there were laws about family doing things on behalf of students (I assumed school's had policies).

You might get through to him better if you were polite, firm and clear. Because the OP reads like you came across to him as just blowing him off - he might not understand the scope of what he's asking and that there are legal limits on what can be done, and that's why he's pushing.

Twik

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Re: I Cannot Violate Federal Law Because Your Wife is "Special"
« Reply #32 on: March 20, 2013, 03:12:53 PM »
I'm a bit confused... but did you ever actually tell him you cannot disclosed information or that what he was asking for was a violation of a law?  ... You might get through to him better if you were polite, firm and clear. Because the OP reads like you came across to him as just blowing him off - he might not understand the scope of what he's asking and that there are legal limits on what can be done, and that's why he's pushing.

From the OP: "Again and again I explained I was, legally, unable to give him any information even though she was his wife. " Sounds like she mentioned it repeatedly.
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WillyNilly

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Re: I Cannot Violate Federal Law Because Your Wife is "Special"
« Reply #33 on: March 20, 2013, 03:19:19 PM »
I'm a bit confused... but did you ever actually tell him you cannot disclosed information or that what he was asking for was a violation of a law?  ... You might get through to him better if you were polite, firm and clear. Because the OP reads like you came across to him as just blowing him off - he might not understand the scope of what he's asking and that there are legal limits on what can be done, and that's why he's pushing.

From the OP: "Again and again I explained I was, legally, unable to give him any information even though she was his wife. " Sounds like she mentioned it repeatedly.

I don't know how I missed that, sorry.

magicdomino

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Re: I Cannot Violate Federal Law Because Your Wife is "Special"
« Reply #34 on: March 20, 2013, 04:27:00 PM »
Casting my vote with the 'she can't handle conflict, that's why you have to talk to me and not her' camp.   I wonder if the wife is even that interested in returning to school; all we have is the husband's word for it that she wants to, and he's complaining that 'he' has a student loan debt and no education to show for it (i.e., he's not happy about her having a student loan but no degree).

I'm wondering if the person that she really can't handle conflict with is her husband.  Whatever the circumstances, the OP handled it as well as is possible under the circumstances.

scotcat60

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Re: I Cannot Violate Federal Law Because Your Wife is "Special"
« Reply #35 on: March 21, 2013, 07:31:11 AM »
Her husband wants her to be readmitted (to pick up where she left off) because he doesn't feel she was treated fairly and she "doesn't deal with conflict at all".

Like other posters, I hear the husbands voice and not the wifes in this.  When I was working, I came up against a mother who moaned about the library issue rules for vacation loans, so I told her to write to the Chief Librarian, and take it up with him. Her daughter was standing beside her looking acutely embarrased. I checked with my boss later, he said he hadn't heard anything.

The OP has rightly contacted her Director, he's dealing with it, as is proper.

Winterlight

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Re: I Cannot Violate Federal Law Because Your Wife is "Special"
« Reply #36 on: March 22, 2013, 09:06:27 AM »
Casting my vote with the 'she can't handle conflict, that's why you have to talk to me and not her' camp.   I wonder if the wife is even that interested in returning to school; all we have is the husband's word for it that she wants to, and he's complaining that 'he' has a student loan debt and no education to show for it (i.e., he's not happy about her having a student loan but no degree).

I'm wondering if the person that she really can't handle conflict with is her husband.  Whatever the circumstances, the OP handled it as well as is possible under the circumstances.

Word. I'm guessing he's the motivating force here, and while I sympathize with the fact that paying for student loans on an uncompleted degree sucks, that's not the university's problem.
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Re: I Cannot Violate Federal Law Because Your Wife is "Special"
« Reply #37 on: March 23, 2013, 10:06:14 PM »
First "helicopter parents" now "helicopter spouses." ::)

kudeebee

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Re: I Cannot Violate Federal Law Because Your Wife is "Special"
« Reply #38 on: March 24, 2013, 01:41:32 AM »
First "helicopter parents" now "helicopter spouses." ::)

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