Author Topic: Is there such a thing as Facebook etiquette?  (Read 3826 times)

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Red1979

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Re: Is there such a thing as Facebook etiquette?
« Reply #15 on: March 20, 2013, 04:00:03 PM »
I think you are confusing "things I personally find annoying" with "stuff that is actually rude".

Using your own personal facebook page to post eleventybillion  home repairs or grump cat quotes or Dr. Who pics is not rude.  Maybe it's boring or annoying, but that's what hiding or unfriending is for.
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audrey1962

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Re: Is there such a thing as Facebook etiquette?
« Reply #16 on: March 20, 2013, 04:03:42 PM »
I know a lot of people believe you can use facebook for whatever you like, and very few rules apply (i.e. no graphic/obscene posts). But why is this? If it's supposed to be a site to share your life with others, does it matter how you do it?

That is what I believe.

FB is a time commitment. I don't know how old you are, but do you remember when pictures were printed on film and we used to paste them in albums? Some people were really good about always keeping albums up-to-date, whereas others kept packets of photos under their bed and only pasted them in albums sporadically. Whereas others may have been sporadic posters, but then one day something happened and they became more interested in it.

I also know that some people don't feel comfortable posting to FB unless they have "something to say" (or a picture to display). My mom told me that she didn't want a FB account because she didn't want to have to share with the world what she was thinking all the time. I told her that's not how it works (FB doesn't extract your brain waves!) and that she can post as much or as little as she wants. She has an account now and I could see her using it the way your relative does: only posting about projects.

I think how we use FB and/or how we think others should use it, is very telling about our personalities, don't you?

Judah

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Re: Is there such a thing as Facebook etiquette?
« Reply #17 on: March 20, 2013, 04:06:56 PM »
I think you are confusing "things I personally find annoying" with "stuff that is actually rude".

Using your own personal facebook page to post eleventybillion  home repairs or grump cat quotes or Dr. Who pics is not rude.  Maybe it's boring or annoying, but that's what hiding or unfriending is for.

Exactly.
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thedudeabides

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Re: Is there such a thing as Facebook etiquette?
« Reply #18 on: March 20, 2013, 04:12:33 PM »
It's his wall; he doesn't have to only post updates that interest you or post in a time frame that you approve of.  He's not being offensive in terms of what he posts, unless I missed something and home renovations actually refers to kicking kittens or something, so I don't see anything wrong with him posting something he's happy about on his *own wall.*  Don't like it?  Unsubscribe or defriend.

LadyL

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Re: Is there such a thing as Facebook etiquette?
« Reply #19 on: March 20, 2013, 04:23:21 PM »
To clarify, I don't think his posting is rude at all, I was mostly surprised to see him come out of the woodwork. It made me think about how we represent ourselves online.

I guess in retrospect this belongs more in the Coffee Break folder because I was mostly curious why facebook is immune to any rules of etiquette, or even any cultural norms that govern behavior - not specific to rude/not rude but more like guidelines .Like on here, it is somewhat expected that OPs will eventually read and reply to other posters in their thread, and "abandoning" a thread is somewhat frowned upon especially if a lot of people ask clarification questions. But on facebook, everyone gets a pass on posting offensive religious/political views, pictures of graphic things, etc. and everyone admits they don't like this behavior but also agrees there is no reason (etiquette based, cultural, etc.) that people shouldn't post it. It could be argued that facebook is a semi public  thing (even private pages can be screen shot) kind of like putting a bulletin board in your front yard, to use a PPs analogy. Employers look at FB pages when making hiring decisions, for example. So I'm wondering if it's really practical going forward to have FB be the wild west of netiquette, so to speak ;).

Perfect Circle

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Re: Is there such a thing as Facebook etiquette?
« Reply #20 on: March 20, 2013, 04:27:07 PM »
Perhaps he now has something he considers worth posting. Or like someone says, better access to a computer etc. Or he just feels more comfortable with the site and is happy to share something he finds really exciting.

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Harriet Jones

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Re: Is there such a thing as Facebook etiquette?
« Reply #21 on: March 20, 2013, 04:38:19 PM »
I don't think Facebook's any more "immune" to netiquette than the rest of the internet.    In my experience, there are tons of places way worse than Facebook as far as behavior goes.  At least with Facebook, you can report problems and hide/block people who annoy you.

ccnumber4

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Re: Is there such a thing as Facebook etiquette?
« Reply #22 on: March 20, 2013, 04:38:31 PM »
To clarify, I don't think his posting is rude at all, I was mostly surprised to see him come out of the woodwork. It made me think about how we represent ourselves online.


If pictures of home renovations are how he "represents himself online" that would be ok by me!  I have a FB friend who slips his graduate degree into every post he makes and it is truly tiring.  I'd be so grateful if he posted a home renovation picture and made no mention of the degree!  Again, his wall and I can choose to ignore him if I want.  There is nothing rude about home renovations or a graduate degree. 

Paper Roses

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Re: Is there such a thing as Facebook etiquette?
« Reply #23 on: March 20, 2013, 04:39:06 PM »
If he was putting this stuff on everyone else's pages, sure, it would be self-involved and possibly rude.  But putting it on his own?  That's his business, and if anyone doesn't like it, they don't have to look.

The way I see it, this is like asking if someone is rude to have a conversation in their home, in private, about something that bothers you, even though you are not there and it has nothing to do with you. 
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Red1979

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Re: Is there such a thing as Facebook etiquette?
« Reply #24 on: March 20, 2013, 04:41:40 PM »
To clarify, I don't think his posting is rude at all, I was mostly surprised to see him come out of the woodwork. It made me think about how we represent ourselves online.

I guess in retrospect this belongs more in the Coffee Break folder because I was mostly curious why facebook is immune to any rules of etiquette, or even any cultural norms that govern behavior - not specific to rude/not rude but more like guidelines .Like on here, it is somewhat expected that OPs will eventually read and reply to other posters in their thread, and "abandoning" a thread is somewhat frowned upon especially if a lot of people ask clarification questions. But on facebook, everyone gets a pass on posting offensive religious/political views, pictures of graphic things, etc. and everyone admits they don't like this behavior but also agrees there is no reason (etiquette based, cultural, etc.) that people shouldn't post it. It could be argued that facebook is a semi public  thing (even private pages can be screen shot) kind of like putting a bulletin board in your front yard, to use a PPs analogy. Employers look at FB pages when making hiring decisions, for example. So I'm wondering if it's really practical going forward to have FB be the wild west of netiquette, so to speak ;).

Facebook is not having a conversation.  It is not a one on one personal reaction.  It's like art.  You put something out there that for whatever reason is interesting/relevant/funny/compelling for you and people can choose to look at it or not.  You have the creative expression to show whatever you like and people have the freedom to ignore it, mock it, comment on it or like it.

Unlike many other forms of media or interaction, you fully control everything you are subjecting yourself to.  It's not a billboard because unlike a billboard that you have to walk past, you can completely ignore other people's facebook pages.  You don't like someone's posts?  Block them or ignore them.  You only want to associate with people who believe in the flying spaghetti monster?  Then only friend those people.  If someone is so anal retentive they can't handle ever seeing things they don't like or agree with, then they should not be on Facebook.

Facebook in fact does have rules.  There are tons of things that you can't post that will get your account shut down.  I'm really not seeing any "wild west of netiquette" nor do I see how that premise remotely relates to someone posting tons of home renovation photos.
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thedudeabides

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Re: Is there such a thing as Facebook etiquette?
« Reply #25 on: March 20, 2013, 04:42:43 PM »
To clarify, I don't think his posting is rude at all, I was mostly surprised to see him come out of the woodwork. It made me think about how we represent ourselves online.

I guess in retrospect this belongs more in the Coffee Break folder because I was mostly curious why facebook is immune to any rules of etiquette, or even any cultural norms that govern behavior - not specific to rude/not rude but more like guidelines .Like on here, it is somewhat expected that OPs will eventually read and reply to other posters in their thread, and "abandoning" a thread is somewhat frowned upon especially if a lot of people ask clarification questions. But on facebook, everyone gets a pass on posting offensive religious/political views, pictures of graphic things, etc. and everyone admits they don't like this behavior but also agrees there is no reason (etiquette based, cultural, etc.) that people shouldn't post it. It could be argued that facebook is a semi public  thing (even private pages can be screen shot) kind of like putting a bulletin board in your front yard, to use a PPs analogy. Employers look at FB pages when making hiring decisions, for example. So I'm wondering if it's really practical going forward to have FB be the wild west of netiquette, so to speak ;).

So your original post had nothing to do with your actual question?  I don't understand.

Judah

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Re: Is there such a thing as Facebook etiquette?
« Reply #26 on: March 20, 2013, 04:43:54 PM »
To clarify, I don't think his posting is rude at all, I was mostly surprised to see him come out of the woodwork. It made me think about how we represent ourselves online.

I guess in retrospect this belongs more in the Coffee Break folder because I was mostly curious why facebook is immune to any rules of etiquette, or even any cultural norms that govern behavior - not specific to rude/not rude but more like guidelines .Like on here, it is somewhat expected that OPs will eventually read and reply to other posters in their thread, and "abandoning" a thread is somewhat frowned upon especially if a lot of people ask clarification questions. But on facebook, everyone gets a pass on posting offensive religious/political views, pictures of graphic things, etc. and everyone admits they don't like this behavior but also agrees there is no reason (etiquette based, cultural, etc.) that people shouldn't post it. It could be argued that facebook is a semi public  thing (even private pages can be screen shot) kind of like putting a bulletin board in your front yard, to use a PPs analogy. Employers look at FB pages when making hiring decisions, for example. So I'm wondering if it's really practical going forward to have FB be the wild west of netiquette, so to speak ;).

I don't think Facebook is an etiquette-free zone, but like anything else, it's not so much what you say, but how you say it.  I can have a face-to-face conversation with a friend about religion, politics, etc. and not be rude, or I can discuss those same topics and be very rude, same rules would apply on Facebook.  If I say to a friend, "NotMyPoliticalParty is nothing but a club for morons and jerks", it doesn't matter if I say it in person or on Facebook, it's still rude. But if I said, "NotMyPoliticalParty is obstructing the passage of meaningful legislation and I think they should make an effort to work with MyParty to reach a consensus" that's not rude in any setting.

So it's not really that Facebook has no etiquette rules, but that some people forget their manners when they get behind a keyboard.
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WillyNilly

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Re: Is there such a thing as Facebook etiquette?
« Reply #27 on: March 20, 2013, 04:45:09 PM »
To clarify, I don't think his posting is rude at all, I was mostly surprised to see him come out of the woodwork. It made me think about how we represent ourselves online.

I guess in retrospect this belongs more in the Coffee Break folder because I was mostly curious why facebook is immune to any rules of etiquette, or even any cultural norms that govern behavior - not specific to rude/not rude but more like guidelines .Like on here, it is somewhat expected that OPs will eventually read and reply to other posters in their thread, and "abandoning" a thread is somewhat frowned upon especially if a lot of people ask clarification questions. But on facebook, everyone gets a pass on posting offensive religious/political views, pictures of graphic things, etc. and everyone admits they don't like this behavior but also agrees there is no reason (etiquette based, cultural, etc.) that people shouldn't post it. It could be argued that facebook is a semi public  thing (even private pages can be screen shot) kind of like putting a bulletin board in your front yard, to use a PPs analogy. Employers look at FB pages when making hiring decisions, for example. So I'm wondering if it's really practical going forward to have FB be the wild west of netiquette, so to speak ;).

I don't think "facebook is immune to any rules of etiquette, or even any cultural norms that govern behavior" at all.

There are differences in what ok to post on FB and here due to the site's rules and usage guidelines. FB has rules too. One must be over 13 years to have a FB page (do people break that rule?  Yes, but its still an active rule). Certain photos cannot be posted on FB and if they are FB will remove them. FB shuts down/deletes inappropriate profiles daily. Plus in addition to the steps they take officially, FB allows users to set up various settings to block users, or restrict users in various ways. Etc.

People self govern a lot on FB - they hide feeds, delete comments, unfriend or block users all the time. People don't really get pass if they are being ignored - its more like real life: I can't stop someone from wearing an offensive shirt, but I can avoid looking at them or interacting with them.  Is that giving them a pass?  I don't think so, because I'm letting the action pass by unnoticed, I am enacting a consequence upon them (ignoring them).  I think the same thing happens on FB regularly.

As for employers and FB, its a double edged sword. Sure employers might not hire someone due to FB... but then again as often as not is a positive thing to employers. I know I wouldn't hire anyone who didn't have and use a FB account - FB is a powerful marketing tool and I would absolutely expect anyone in the job market to be well versed in its usage. And the employer aspect adds to the idea of it being self governed to an extent.

But we need to remember Facebook is a commercial enterprise. It is a for-profit company and there are real rules and regulations in place governing it's usage. It might seem like a free-for-all, but its really not, its just well done.
« Last Edit: March 20, 2013, 04:48:27 PM by WillyNilly »

LadyL

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Re: Is there such a thing as Facebook etiquette?
« Reply #28 on: March 20, 2013, 04:48:36 PM »
To clarify, I don't think his posting is rude at all, I was mostly surprised to see him come out of the woodwork. It made me think about how we represent ourselves online.

I guess in retrospect this belongs more in the Coffee Break folder because I was mostly curious why facebook is immune to any rules of etiquette, or even any cultural norms that govern behavior - not specific to rude/not rude but more like guidelines .Like on here, it is somewhat expected that OPs will eventually read and reply to other posters in their thread, and "abandoning" a thread is somewhat frowned upon especially if a lot of people ask clarification questions. But on facebook, everyone gets a pass on posting offensive religious/political views, pictures of graphic things, etc. and everyone admits they don't like this behavior but also agrees there is no reason (etiquette based, cultural, etc.) that people shouldn't post it. It could be argued that facebook is a semi public  thing (even private pages can be screen shot) kind of like putting a bulletin board in your front yard, to use a PPs analogy. Employers look at FB pages when making hiring decisions, for example. So I'm wondering if it's really practical going forward to have FB be the wild west of netiquette, so to speak ;).

So your original post had nothing to do with your actual question?  I don't understand.

My original post was just the jumping off point for a broader discussion :). Again if it should be moved that's fine by me.

It is interesting that some people see FB as private whereas others view it as more of a public thing, or an accurate representation of yourself vs. a creative product of sorts. These are all very different definitions of the same thing.

Judah

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Re: Is there such a thing as Facebook etiquette?
« Reply #29 on: March 20, 2013, 04:51:25 PM »
It is interesting that some people see FB as private whereas others view it as more of a public thing, or an accurate representation of yourself vs. a creative product of sorts. These are all very different definitions of the same thing.

This is because everyone uses Facebook differently and for different purposes. 
Ask for what you want. Let's be clear on this one:
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Strong hints don't work.
Really obvious hints don't work.
Just say it!

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