This post is sort of an add-on to the one about my Easter dinner quandary:
http://www.etiquettehell.com/smf/index.php?topic=125597.0.
In a nutshell, when he arrives for Easter dinner, my brother intends to surprise my family (DH, DS, and me) with an announcement that he got married a couple of weeks ago. He told my mother last week. She told me.
My mother informed me that he has been involved with this woman for several months, although we don't know for certain how long. My mother found out last fall from my brother's ex-W that he was living with her. My brother apparently sat on this fact for a while. When he told my mother that he was living with his GF, my mother told him that she already knew and had heard it from his ex-W. He hit the roof and was mad both at my mother and his ex. The irony is that he thought my mother should have told him that she already knew.
We saw my mother and brother at Christmas, and neither he nor my mother said a word to us about him living with his GF or that he even had a GF. The first I heard about her was last week. He e-mailed me and asked if I would set two extra places at the table for Easter dinner. I said I would. He didn't provide me with any other information except to say he'd tell me more later.
My mother isn't remotely happy about this marriage. She is very disappointed that my brother handled it this way. I'm keeping an open mind; however, I'm wondering how I should handle this on Easter when they arrive. I already know the big news, so ...
Should I:
a) Feign surprise on Easter when I meet my brother's wife (and stepson)?
b) Not acknowledge the attempt at surprise at all since I won't really be surprised. In other words, just welcome them to our home, congratulate them, and move on with the dinner plan?
c) Tell my brother now that I already know? Note: If I do this, my brother will be mad at my mother for telling me. He may be mad at me for not telling him sooner that I know. And my mother probably will be mad at me for telling him I already know.
It isn't lost on me that the big news will be announced during a dinner party that involves the couple mentioned in my Easter quandary post. It also won't be lost on this couple that we don't know my brother's wife and will likely be going through the entire getting-to-know-you exercise right there with them. This feels awkward now, and it's still 11 days until Easter.
Ugh. Any thoughts on how to make this less awkward?
Topic: When it isn't really a surprise. UPDATES #23, #42, #87 (Read 43262 times)