Author Topic: How to politely say 'I don't like that at all'  (Read 5113 times)

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that_one_girl

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Re: How to politely say 'I don't like that at all'
« Reply #15 on: March 20, 2013, 07:46:29 AM »
"No thank you"
"The more you insist, the less likely I am to actually watch that movie"
"That's not my thing"
"Let me know when you finish your copy so I can borrow it"

Try to get him to lend you whatever game/book/TV series he is insisting you play/read/watch.   Then you can be open to the new experiences without it hurting your wallet. 
Turn it into a reason to spend time with him, so that you can at least be enjoying his company.  You can set up a movie night once in a while with popcorn and whatnot to watch his recommendations.

My husband does this to me.  He is really into video games, and I would rather pursue a more productive hobby (fiber arts or something creative).  He will insist I play a certain game and then do nothing but tell me how I'm doing it wrong or how poorly I am doing.  I finally had to tell him to leave the room if he couldn't keep a civil tongue in his head and be understanding about the fact that I neither have 20 years of experience playing video games NOR have hands large enough to work the controller the same way he does.   

JenJay

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Re: How to politely say 'I don't like that at all'
« Reply #16 on: March 20, 2013, 08:00:34 AM »
Some people seem to take it as a personal insult when you don't love everything they love. It's as if they equate "I don't like that game" with "you have stupid taste in games". I know someone who, if you say you had a bad experience with something, will get visibly tense and keep repeating how much they liked it. It's as if they're compelled to defend the thing.

With a friend I'd try being more specific about what it is you didn't like and compare it to what you do like. "I didn't enjoy Call of Duty because it's primarily a shooting game, but I loved Mass Effect because, while it's also shooter, the story is really well developed and it's much more interactive. RPGs are definitely my thing." When he persists repeat "Like I said, I'm just not into that type of game."

SleepyKitty

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Re: How to politely say 'I don't like that at all'
« Reply #17 on: March 20, 2013, 09:06:17 AM »
I have a friend like this. I've taken to the one word sentence "No" if a simple, "I'm not interested" fails to work.

This, completely. You've already tried to soften your refusal, so I don't think 'No thank you' or something similar is going to work. I suggest just giving a flat, firm 'No'. If you're in person, direct eye contact and a carefully neutral face can help.

Personally, I don't drink beer. I have nothing against drinking alcohol - I love wine and mixed drinks and hard cider and just about anything else. Everyone is convinced that I will like *this* beer. After trying several, I can say with confidence, I'm never going to like beer. Yes, even your favorite beer. Yes, even the beer that doesn't taste like beer. Sometimes it takes some repetition to get people to understand.  :)

bopper

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Re: How to politely say 'I don't like that at all'
« Reply #18 on: March 20, 2013, 09:09:54 AM »
 "Dude, I gave it a try based on your recommendation.  I don't like it.  I told you this. Now you are berating me about the game that I paid for and don't like.  This can go one of two ways: 1) You keep bugging me and the next time you have a cool thing you want me to try I will not listen because I don't want to go down this road again or 2) You accept that I know what I do and don't like and next time you have a cool thing you want me to try I will consider trying it."

Emmy

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Re: How to politely say 'I don't like that at all'
« Reply #19 on: March 20, 2013, 09:19:09 AM »
I also have a friend who is this way.  It also works in reverse and the things he doesn't like are automatically branded as awful.  People like that seem to honestly not get the concept that people have different tastes and that it is possible for their friends to like/dislike different things.

Next time he is inclined to give you a recommendation, ask to borrow the game from him.  If he is unwilling to loan it, just say "It doesn't sound like something I am interested in, please drop it".

Cami

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Re: How to politely say 'I don't like that at all'
« Reply #20 on: March 20, 2013, 09:33:31 AM »
I have a relative like this. He just loves to argue and assumes that his preferences are  universal. I've taken to saying to him, "What is the point of arguing with me like this? The more  you push me the less likely I am to do something. Stop it."

siamesecat2965

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Re: How to politely say 'I don't like that at all'
« Reply #21 on: March 20, 2013, 09:52:36 AM »
I have a friend like this. I've taken to the one word sentence "No" if a simple, "I'm not interested" fails to work.

This, completely. You've already tried to soften your refusal, so I don't think 'No thank you' or something similar is going to work. I suggest just giving a flat, firm 'No'. If you're in person, direct eye contact and a carefully neutral face can help.

Personally, I don't drink beer. I have nothing against drinking alcohol - I love wine and mixed drinks and hard cider and just about anything else. Everyone is convinced that I will like *this* beer. After trying several, I can say with confidence, I'm never going to like beer. Yes, even your favorite beer. Yes, even the beer that doesn't taste like beer. Sometimes it takes some repetition to get people to understand.  :)

I'm the same way! I love pretty much any other type of adult beverage, but beer I'm not a fan of. I still remember going away with a friend for the weekend, nad we had dinner in a brewary/restaurant. She loves beer and got a sampler. And asked if I wanted to try any. Which I did, and decided that while I can tell the difference between good beer and generic, I still didn't like it. The one we both agreed was nasty was a sausage flavored one! 

SoCalVal

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Re: How to politely say 'I don't like that at all'
« Reply #22 on: March 20, 2013, 10:25:13 AM »
The next time he asked, I told him the things I didn't like, and said I wasn't interested in continuing to play it.  He emailed me back telling me that I hadn't given the game a fair chance, and argued with me that I was wrong and that he would 'help me' get through the difficult parts.  ::)  And that if, after he 'helps me' I still don't like it, then it would be my loss.  ???  I beandipped.

"I'll just cut to the chase and determine it's 'my loss' as I'm not interested in continuing to play it.  Bean dip?"

And if he should continue to bring it up in the future, continue to bean dip.  You're not being rude at this point; he is as he's ignoring YOU when you state you're not interested in blah blah blah.



Miss Tickle

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Re: How to politely say 'I don't like that at all'
« Reply #23 on: March 21, 2013, 12:02:42 AM »
"Meh, what are you gonna do?", would be an appropriate response to the badgering.

I'd also suggest the more he pushes things to which you say no repeatedly, the fewer things you entertain at all.

wyliefool

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Re: How to politely say 'I don't like that at all'
« Reply #24 on: March 21, 2013, 08:42:41 AM »
Personally, I don't drink beer. I have nothing against drinking alcohol - I love wine and mixed drinks and hard cider and just about anything else. Everyone is convinced that I will like *this* beer. After trying several, I can say with confidence, I'm never going to like beer. Yes, even your favorite beer. Yes, even the beer that doesn't taste like beer. Sometimes it takes some repetition to get people to understand.  :)

Me too. I've actually said 'I don't like beer, it's too bitter. Even the ones that people assure me "you'll love this beer, it isn't bitter!" No I won't, and yes it is. But that's ok--more for you!' It pretty much stops the beer-pushers, as they recognize that I've been beer-pushed before and it didn't change my opinion.

Lynn2000

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Re: How to politely say 'I don't like that at all'
« Reply #25 on: March 21, 2013, 05:05:51 PM »
How annoying! I do not respond well to pushy, insisting people; I get very stubborn, and sometimes I don't even want to try the thing they're pushing, even if it sounds like I might like it.

Depending on the nature of the relationship, I might say something like, "The more you push, the less likely I am to try it" in kind of a light, warning tone. Or, "You've mentioned that game/movie/book before, but I just don't have time to try it right now. I'll let you know if I do," followed by, "You keep asking me about that. I said I would let you know if I tried it. Could you not ask again?" in increasingly cool tones. I do think sometimes people don't realize how often they're mentioning something (or at least this is a charitable assumption) so saying something like, "You've mentioned that several times lately" might clue them in.

Also I would not give in to badgering, because that just encourages people to badger more. He makes a recommendation, you acknowledge it, now it's time for you to look into it further yourself and make your own decision, and you'll let him know if you actually try it. Maybe you could keep a list of his recommendations, or say that you're putting it on your Netflix queue/"to be considered" Amazon wishlist. Maybe that way he will feel like he's being "heard." But let him know that's the end of it, and he should not mention the thing again (to ask you about it, anyway).
~Lynn2000

chibichan

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Re: How to politely say 'I don't like that at all'
« Reply #26 on: March 21, 2013, 10:52:40 PM »
didn't like it.  It actually irritated me, partly because of the game itself but also because I felt like I'd been given a homework assignment to do instead of a fun thing.


This is what you need to get through to him . The next recommendation that he gives you , turn him down flat and tell him why , using those words , as in :

" Dude , everytime I try something you recommend , it ends up feeling some kind of homework assignment . I am not required to enjoy or excel at something just because you do and I'm not liking the pressure I get from you . If I don't like it , I don't like it . No amount of badgering is going to change that . "

If you think that this is more dialog than you care to engage in , then I would just go with RainTree's advice and keep repeating the word "No" until he gets the point.
The key to avoiding trouble is to learn to recognize it from a distance.

that_one_girl

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Re: How to politely say 'I don't like that at all'
« Reply #27 on: March 23, 2013, 08:18:45 AM »
I also have a friend who is this way.  It also works in reverse and the things he doesn't like are automatically branded as awful.  People like that seem to honestly not get the concept that people have different tastes and that it is possible for their friends to like/dislike different things.

This sounds JUST like my husband!

Miss Unleaded

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Re: How to politely say 'I don't like that at all'
« Reply #28 on: March 24, 2013, 01:48:00 PM »
Well I used a combination of some of the things suggested here and managed to get it through to him that he should drop it.  He was still a bit reluctant at first but finally he apologised for being pushy and said he would let it go.

We'll see if he does it again in future.  In the meantime, thanks for the etiquette help!