Author Topic: Regional Funeral Etiquette  (Read 2645 times)

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sparksals

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Re: Regional Funeral Etiquette
« Reply #30 on: March 23, 2013, 03:18:50 PM »
Isn't your husband law enforcement?  My first thought is that many in law enforcement and several prosecutors that I know are zealous in not letting their address or names of family members become public.


Yes, he is and you are very right about the zealousness.  The only thing is, no address was published in the newspaper.   


This brings up an interesting point:  How much can a bereaved family expect to not have sentiments delivered to their home?  To me, it is the norm and to be expected.  Many people may not get the memo on their wishes - it wasn't conveyed in the obit, only an email from work. 








sparksals

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Re: Regional Funeral Etiquette
« Reply #31 on: March 23, 2013, 03:21:06 PM »
Usually the funeral home has a form that they use for the obituary--they will ask questions and fill it in, then have you look it over.  If there is something special that the family wants it can be added.  The obits around here are pretty much the same.  Occasionally there will be one that was definitely written by the family as it does not follow the norm.


That explains some things, then.  It sounds like the obits are very standard in that area.  Where I am from, they are very personal, there is no limit to length.  The only thing prohibited is bad language. 


We did not publish our address in the obit for the gathering at our house.  Instead, we put in the obit, "Friends and family please join us at the Sparksals Family Residence". The line of thinking is people who knew us know the address.   Those who knew us but may have forgotten the address had ways to look it up. 




sparksals

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Re: Regional Funeral Etiquette
« Reply #32 on: March 23, 2013, 03:22:25 PM »
The first thing that popped into my mind was security. They might have been concerned about food and flowers being delivered to the house signalling to any bad guys that there had been a death in the family.


This is a valid concern.  Many thieves and criminals scan obits to find who has died to either prey on a lonely widow or try to break into the home during the funeral while they are away.


kudeebee

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Re: Regional Funeral Etiquette
« Reply #33 on: March 24, 2013, 01:08:06 AM »
The first thing that popped into my mind was security. They might have been concerned about food and flowers being delivered to the house signalling to any bad guys that there had been a death in the family.


This is a valid concern.  Many thieves and criminals scan obits to find who has died to either prey on a lonely widow or try to break into the home during the funeral while they are away.

Around here many people have someone stay at the house during visitations and the funeral.