So with all the threads on the subject of multiple showers for babies (or weddings but the focus has been on babies as of late), I think at the crux of the issue is whether the parents are being "gimmepigs" in some way. Several posters indicated that "gimmepig" behavior may or may not be tied to a subsequent shower and could be seen even in the first shower.
My first thought on that is pretty basic: for me, it's the number of guests. My first shower (for DD#1) was kept fairly small, and included close family and friends. That was it. Total invited guests under 30, including children (who were invited). This time, after refusing a 2nd shower I gave in eventually to two friends who wanted to do a Girls' Night Out, in lieu of a "real" shower and I relented. Total invited guests: 7 (8 if you count me), none of whom (except my BFF) had been to the original shower.
Most showers I go to have between 20-40 people at them and that seems to be the norm where I am. It includes probably 1/2 family and 1/2 friends, with variations of course depending on how close families live and so forth.
Now, a friend of mine (who I love dearly and I would hate to impute any ill motive to) recently had a baby shower and I helped come in and plan it when the original planner dropped the ball. (I planned it with several other friends and was not the "chair" organizing it). This friend is part of a large group at church and invited every.single.female.member of the group. Total invited from this group: about 80. Add to it a few additional friends (such as myself, I'm not in that group) and her family and the guest list was well over 100. The "chair" had to rent out a large room and those of us bringing other things (food, centerpieces, decor, prizes) had to shell out a lot of cash (I spent over $100 not counting the gift I bought her and I was just one person among seven contributing) just to get the food (and we divided that up, so that's not $100 for all the food--that was for two food items and some of the decor).
I can see this as very potentially a "gimmepig" situation--inviting a huge number of people like that--but I wonder if that's an automatic thing or if it depends on who the people are? Say, a large family vs. a situation like this where she easily could have kept it to family & friends and left out all but the people she was close to in that large group she participates in. (I am assuming she felt pressured not to leave anyone out and hence invited the entire group. And yes most of them came--it was about 90 of us total, 75 or so from the group.)
Thoughts? Is there a magic number that beyond which one becomes a gimmepig?