A coochie coo...a coochie coo coo

[ShadesOfGrey]

...

Sorry, my title is a little PA.   I am actually looking for some advice on how to approach some friends of mine over an issue that, apparently, has me a little peeved. 

Here's a little background:  In one group of friends that I hang out with, everyone is older than I am.  There's about a 15 year difference in our ages.  Sometimes, they make comments about our age difference, nothing directly disparaging, just things like "Oh you wouldnt remember that, you're too young." or "Are you even old enough to know who [X celebrity] is?" or "Not [rdge], she's too young." 

Now, I dont mind acknowledging the age difference, in fact, I appreciate all the experience that they have and recognize that I can learn a lot from them.  And I know they dont mean any harm, but sometimes, they make several comments during the course of a night, and it really makes me feel separated from them as a group.   

I dont want to respond with a PA comment (about their age or otherwise), some of them are pretty sensitive and would definitely be offended, and I just dont want to go there with this group.  But, how should I respond? I guess the first question is, should I respond at all? Or am I being too sensitive?

Last time it happened (I was hosting a small get together), I replied with "Hey, come on, you guys are here at my party!" (As in, nobody forced you to hang out with someone 'so young'). 

So e-hellions, what are your thoughts?

[Clara Bow]

I've always been around people who were older than me, my best friend is twenty years my senior. She forgets my age all the time and starts in about how things were when "we" grew up.
I've found that if you learn a lot about old pop culture you can quickly stop people from commenting on your age. I know so much abuot the fifties and sixties from grilling my parents that when I took an online age guessing quiz it said that I was sixty-five. I'm thirty-one actually...LOL.
They don't mean any harm, just let it roll off. Or tease them back. Turnabout is fair play.

[Yarnspinner]

rdge, MOST of my friends are around the same age as I am, but one group I hang out with are anywhere between 15 and 25 years older than me.  I'm 52.  Imagine how I feel being referred to as "the baby". 

On the other hand, I have several friends who are 35 to 40 years YOUNGER than I.  This is where it gets good....One of the teens had to do a report on "this big deal musical event that went on back in the 1960s."  I said "Well, maybe I can help you with that."  She said "Oh, no, Miss Lily.  You're too young to remember it."  I smiled and said "Was it Woodstock?"  "Yeah," she said in awe and admiration.  "How did you know?"  "Well," I said "I was fourteen that year.  And I used to have the album."  "Oh, Miss Lily, I can't believe you that old.  You the young, cool librarian."

I kind of like that part of being a baby...

[ShadesOfGrey]

I've always been around people who were older than me, my best friend is twenty years my senior. She forgets my age all the time and starts in about how things were when "we" grew up.
I've found that if you learn a lot about old pop culture you can quickly stop people from commenting on your age. I know so much abuot the fifties and sixties from grilling my parents that when I took an online age guessing quiz it said that I was sixty-five. I'm thirty-one actually...LOL.
They don't mean any harm, just let it roll off. Or tease them back. Turnabout is fair play.

That's a good idea, Auntie Venom, ALL my friends are older than me (which makes the fact that I am dating someone younger than me so ironic), most of them only by 5-6 years at the most, many married and some having kids.  These guys just have a greater age difference (all older, no kids), and usually, we get along great (which is why they are friens in the first place), common interests, common perspectives, etc.  so I guess me learning about 'their era' could really help.

Wow, lilysuch, that's a pretty diverse crowd of friends you have!  So, I guess I am being a little sensitive... Thanks for sharing.

[Lisbeth]

You could say, "Well, I'm not facing the onset of old age and Alzheimer's." 

I guess this response is a bit snarky, but you get the idea.  I find that humorous responses are the most dignified way to deal with patronizing remarks.

[MadMadge43]

Sigh, I remember when I was 30 hanging out with a bunch of 50 to 60 years olds for a girls weekend and they wouldn't let the age difference go. I had a great time, but kept hearing how I was the "young one" and how I didn't experience the things they had. I kept my mouth shut and enjoyed what they had to say.

Now My Bf is 5 years younger than me and his friends are 5 years younger than him. Most of the time I don't notice at all, but there are a lot of things I remember that they have no clue about. And I probably bring up our ages more than they do.

I wouldn't let it bother you, it's just the way life is.

[Sandi Papaya]

Most of the women in my knitting group are in their mid-fifties and older. I'm 31 (32 in a couple of months), and while I'm not the youngest in the group, I'm the youngest of the "regular" crowd and have somehow curried the favor of the group leaders.

I get a lot of teasing for being "the baby," especially from the ones who have no idea I'm in my early 30s and think I'm somewhere in my early-to-mid 20s instead (that gets fun). Mostly I just roll with it - they treat me like a substitute daughter or granddaughter (depending on their age). Some will tell me I can't possibly know about things like the Beatles - till I wow them with some piece of Beatles trivia or can sing them a particular (and not very well-known) Beatles song word for word, or something similar (most of them had no idea I've been a HUGE Beatles fan since I was a toddler, pretty much, as my mom, aunts and uncles were all Beatles fans) - or they tell me I can't possibly remember "Grease" (I can, word for word. I saw it when I was 3 and have watched it a million times since - in fact, I still remember when I went to SEE it!). I'm a big fan of music ranging from the '40s to today, so it's hard to trip me up on music trivia, I'm a total pop culture junkie on everything from the '60s on, so even if there are things that happened before I was born, I'm pretty conscious of when they happened and their significance.

Whenever they're wowed by my extensive knowledge of certain subjects, I just remind them not to underestimate the power of a young, and sharp, mind.

[MerryRaven]

LilySuch I am 52 also and one of the groups I hang out with are 60's and older.
In one group there are so many 90+ people that DH and I joke we bring the average age down to 70.

I have another group of friends in their 20's.  They make me feel young in an entirely different and nice way.

[Bijou]

Most of the women in my knitting group are in their mid-fifties and older. I'm 31 (32 in a couple of months), and while I'm not the youngest in the group, I'm the youngest of the "regular" crowd and have somehow curried the favor of the group leaders.

I get a lot of teasing for being "the baby," especially from the ones who have no idea I'm in my early 30s and think I'm somewhere in my early-to-mid 20s instead (that gets fun). Mostly I just roll with it - they treat me like a substitute daughter or granddaughter (depending on their age). Some will tell me I can't possibly know about things like the Beatles - till I wow them with some piece of Beatles trivia or can sing them a particular (and not very well-known) Beatles song word for word, or something similar (most of them had no idea I've been a HUGE Beatles fan since I was a toddler, pretty much, as my mom, aunts and uncles were all Beatles fans) - or they tell me I can't possibly remember "Grease" (I can, word for word. I saw it when I was 3 and have watched it a million times since - in fact, I still remember when I went to SEE it!). I'm a big fan of music ranging from the '40s to today, so it's hard to trip me up on music trivia, I'm a total pop culture junkie on everything from the '60s on, so even if there are things that happened before I was born, I'm pretty conscious of when they happened and their significance.

Whenever they're wowed by my extensive knowledge of certain subjects, I just remind them not to underestimate the power of a young, and sharp, mind.

When I was growing up my mom and aunts taught my two sisters and me how to harmonize and taught us all the old songs from the 20's, 30's and 40's. When we were in our 20's we would all go to this corner bar every labor day and the seams would be bursting with people in their 50's and 60's and maybe older.  We would drag out the guitars and sing all the old songs and they were always surprised that we knew them.  So, maybe you can brush up on things from their era and join in the conversation.  They'll be happy you are interested and impressed by how expansive your knowledge of recent history is.