Thanks to everyone for validating what I am trying to express to DH. I know his heart is in the right place, I just need to steer him in a better direction.
To answer a few questions:
1. The stepsister is the mom’s biological daughter. The mom is not of DH’s culture (the dad is) and I do not believe this child was christened at all. Even if she was christened in another church, our church would require that she be re-christened if she were to want to become a member of our church. So if she does have godparents, she would have to get new godparents for the second christening, assuming the initial godparents are not of DH’s culture.
2. For the poster who mentioned the cost of all of the required gifts: yes, cost can be an issue. Sometimes, the parents of the godparents will help out with the costs. But yes, I would say that if you couldn’t swing the required gifts, you would do best to bow out and then let the mom & dad decide how to deal with it. If you can have a frank conversation, I can see some parents might let the godparents off the hook for some of the gifts. But they are all part of the christening ceremony so someone will have to come up with them.
Honestly, I hope this doesn’t come off sounding crass or cheap, but I’m not thrilled about this whole godparent business. It’s already cost me about $700, and we are just in the beginning stages of this. Again, in DH’s culture, godparents are looked on like benevolent year-round Santa Clauses, handing out cash and gifts at every turn of the mile. Add to that DH’s overly generous nature and I’m looking at the poorhouse. We already have two nieces and he likes to go overboard for them as well. I keep telling him that no child needs $100 of birthday gifts from an aunt/uncle and he doesn’t get it.