Author Topic: Prom Cling-on**UPDATE #87,#173**  (Read 34918 times)

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Yvaine

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Re: Prom Cling-on**UPDATE**
« Reply #180 on: March 28, 2013, 10:18:13 AM »
*snip*

Also observed at these 5 proms I attended, it was nothing like the group love mixer some posters are described.   There was generally fairly little mixing between groups.  You hung out with the group you came with or your closest friends that you met up with after dinner.  (Dinner was separate and generally done as a pair or as a double date).  You may say hello to others or chat briefly but in general everyone was enjoying being with their own crowd.  Frankly, there really wasn't any room for a lone prom goer to insert herself into any given group.  (When I went by myself, I didn't even try.  I respected my friends with their dates too much.  I just wanted to go for a short time.)

Thank you for writing that.  I never went to prom so felt I had no right to say so, but that's how I imagine it.  I did not understand all those posts about how prom is "one school. one group."  Sure there would be talking with friends, but after all, won't boyfriends/girlfriends spend most of their time alone together in the crowd?

Yeah, I don't remember that either. I remember that we had a table with, I think, either six or eight seats so we could have 3 or 4 couples at it and IIRC we had to decide these table arrangements ahead of time. (And yes, they sold the tickets in pairs. You had to buy them with a "date" and it had to be an opposite-sex date. In 1995, even.) Our friend group was a little bigger than our dinner table, so there was a somewhat larger circle that we bopped around the dance floor with. But you couldn't go sit at other people's tables. And people mostly talked to people they usually talked to anyway--though I do have fond memories of a few people who were stuck-up to me most of the time making surprised remarks that I looked nice that night. ;)

wolfie

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Re: Prom Cling-on**UPDATE**
« Reply #181 on: March 28, 2013, 10:23:23 AM »
*snip*

Also observed at these 5 proms I attended, it was nothing like the group love mixer some posters are described.   There was generally fairly little mixing between groups.  You hung out with the group you came with or your closest friends that you met up with after dinner.  (Dinner was separate and generally done as a pair or as a double date).  You may say hello to others or chat briefly but in general everyone was enjoying being with their own crowd.  Frankly, there really wasn't any room for a lone prom goer to insert herself into any given group.  (When I went by myself, I didn't even try.  I respected my friends with their dates too much.  I just wanted to go for a short time.)

Thank you for writing that.  I never went to prom so felt I had no right to say so, but that's how I imagine it.  I did not understand all those posts about how prom is "one school. one group."  Sure there would be talking with friends, but after all, won't boyfriends/girlfriends spend most of their time alone together in the crowd?

Yeah, I don't remember that either. I remember that we had a table with, I think, either six or eight seats so we could have 3 or 4 couples at it and IIRC we had to decide these table arrangements ahead of time. (And yes, they sold the tickets in pairs. You had to buy them with a "date" and it had to be an opposite-sex date. In 1995, even.) Our friend group was a little bigger than our dinner table, so there was a somewhat larger circle that we bopped around the dance floor with. But you couldn't go sit at other people's tables. And people mostly talked to people they usually talked to anyway--though I do have fond memories of a few people who were stuck-up to me most of the time making surprised remarks that I looked nice that night. ;)

That is exactly how my prom was too! I actually don't remember most of it - wasn't all that really. But I really don't remember mixing with other people all that much. It was pretty much like a regular school day - just we were dressed much fancier and ate dinner and danced instead of being in the school cafeteria.

Sharnita

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Re: Prom Cling-on**UPDATE #87,#173**
« Reply #182 on: March 28, 2013, 10:42:49 AM »
We had longer, banquet type tables so maybe 14 or so people. Of course some were further down the table and there was also conversation with the tables on either side. Then on the dance floor you just found yourself out there kind of surrounded by everyone. Conersation was not all that deep even with people in your group because the music and movement did not really contribute for that kind of evening.

Yvaine

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Re: Prom Cling-on**UPDATE #87,#173**
« Reply #183 on: March 28, 2013, 11:32:46 AM »
We could hear each other talk at dinner but not once the dancing started. Dinner had quiet, soothing music (and as I said above, it was a small group and you made arrangements ahead of time for who was at your table) and then the dancing portion had music that was louder and, well, more danceable. Just as in a nightclub, no one was going to have a deep conversation on the dance floor, but people kind of danced in their friend groups anyway. And dinner and dancing were completely separate parts of the evening (though in the same room). The tables were still there during dancing in case you needed to set something there or sit down and rest, but there was no longer any food. It was something like dinner from 8-9 and dancing from 9-12.

siamesecat2965

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Re: Prom Cling-on**UPDATE**
« Reply #184 on: March 28, 2013, 11:59:00 AM »

 Yeah, I don't remember that either. I remember that we had a table with, I think, either six or eight seats so we could have 3 or 4 couples at it and IIRC we had to decide these table arrangements ahead of time. (And yes, they sold the tickets in pairs. You had to buy them with a "date" and it had to be an opposite-sex date. In 1995, even.) Our friend group was a little bigger than our dinner table, so there was a somewhat larger circle that we bopped around the dance floor with. But you couldn't go sit at other people's tables. And people mostly talked to people they usually talked to anyway--though I do have fond memories of a few people who were stuck-up to me most of the time making surprised remarks that I looked nice that night. ;)

Mine was in 1984, and included dinner. You bought your tickets in pairs, no singles, and you made arrangements to sit at specific tables with people ahead of time. While I do recall socializing with others, I pretty much stuck to my group of friends I sat with, except on the dance floor when everyone was out there in a big group. I also recall several people who wouldn't have given me the time of day, complimenting me on my dress etc. 

nuit93

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Re: Prom Cling-on**UPDATE**
« Reply #185 on: March 28, 2013, 12:02:16 PM »
*snip*

Also observed at these 5 proms I attended, it was nothing like the group love mixer some posters are described.   There was generally fairly little mixing between groups.  You hung out with the group you came with or your closest friends that you met up with after dinner.  (Dinner was separate and generally done as a pair or as a double date).  You may say hello to others or chat briefly but in general everyone was enjoying being with their own crowd.  Frankly, there really wasn't any room for a lone prom goer to insert herself into any given group.  (When I went by myself, I didn't even try.  I respected my friends with their dates too much.  I just wanted to go for a short time.)

Thank you for writing that.  I never went to prom so felt I had no right to say so, but that's how I imagine it.  I did not understand all those posts about how prom is "one school. one group."  Sure there would be talking with friends, but after all, won't boyfriends/girlfriends spend most of their time alone together in the crowd?

Yeah, I don't remember that either. I remember that we had a table with, I think, either six or eight seats so we could have 3 or 4 couples at it and IIRC we had to decide these table arrangements ahead of time. (And yes, they sold the tickets in pairs. You had to buy them with a "date" and it had to be an opposite-sex date. In 1995, even.) Our friend group was a little bigger than our dinner table, so there was a somewhat larger circle that we bopped around the dance floor with. But you couldn't go sit at other people's tables. And people mostly talked to people they usually talked to anyway--though I do have fond memories of a few people who were stuck-up to me most of the time making surprised remarks that I looked nice that night. ;)

Mine was in 1999, the school allowed same-sex pairings but wouldn't sell single tickets.  We didn't get served dinner, but it was held at a ballroom in the city instead of our school in the suburbs.

Which was fine by me, I had no intention of spending $75 to dance in the cafeteria.

Sharnita

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Re: Prom Cling-on**UPDATE #87,#173**
« Reply #186 on: March 28, 2013, 12:36:38 PM »
As a side note I find it interesting how many schools didn't/won't sell single tickets for prom.

Lorelei_Evil

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Re: Prom Cling-on**UPDATE #87,#173**
« Reply #187 on: March 28, 2013, 12:46:51 PM »
Add mine to that list.  No date, no ticket, no prom.  Very conservative town.

Yvaine

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Re: Prom Cling-on**UPDATE #87,#173**
« Reply #188 on: March 28, 2013, 12:50:11 PM »
As a side note I find it interesting how many schools didn't/won't sell single tickets for prom.

I can only imagine how someone in a same-sex couple might have felt when faced with the rule.  :'( For me, unattached to anyone of any gender at the time, it was a lesser issue but still annoying because I couldn't go stag or just declare a same-sex platonic friend my date and be done with it. I had to make arrangements with a guy, and it turned out we were attaching different levels of importance to the "date" which led to some angst and drama.

whatsanenigma

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Re: Prom Cling-on**UPDATE #87,#173**
« Reply #189 on: March 28, 2013, 12:52:35 PM »
Add mine to that list.  No date, no ticket, no prom.  Very conservative town.

At my school (this was back in 1994) the only thing that was advertised on posters, etc, was the double ticket.  So it would have been easy to assume that singles weren't welcome.  But I just asked the sellers if I could buy a single ticket.  They blinked and froze for a second and then said, "Well, I guess so," and sold me the ticket.  I was allowed to do it but I had to ask first, is the point.  And the way they stared at me, it seemed as if the idea really had never occured to them that someone might want to go without a date, but once this radical new idea was introduced, they had no problem with it.

I got the last laugh, though.  I was the only person to buy a single ticket.  But I wasn't the only one to go to prom without a date.  Several girls had bought double tickets assuming they could get dates later-and it didn't happen.  So they paid double for nothing.

jaxsue

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Re: Prom Cling-on**UPDATE #87,#173**
« Reply #190 on: March 28, 2013, 12:54:10 PM »
Add mine to that list.  No date, no ticket, no prom.  Very conservative town.

I was forbidden to attend any school dance. It was considered "worldly" and sinful. Very, very conservative parents.  :P

Yvaine

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Re: Prom Cling-on**UPDATE #87,#173**
« Reply #191 on: March 28, 2013, 12:56:51 PM »
Add mine to that list.  No date, no ticket, no prom.  Very conservative town.

At my school (this was back in 1994) the only thing that was advertised on posters, etc, was the double ticket.  So it would have been easy to assume that singles weren't welcome.  But I just asked the sellers if I could buy a single ticket.  They blinked and froze for a second and then said, "Well, I guess so," and sold me the ticket.  I was allowed to do it but I had to ask first, is the point.  And the way they stared at me, it seemed as if the idea really had never occured to them that someone might want to go without a date, but once this radical new idea was introduced, they had no problem with it.

Believe me, asking didn't help at ours. People asked every year I was at that school, to no avail (no idea if they've changed it in more recent years). They also said very explicitly over the PA, when announcing ticket sales, that you could not buy a single ticket. You didn't have to actually be dating your date, but you did have to rustle up an opposite-sex person to go with. The other rule was that one member of the couple had to be a senior, and neither could be a freshman.

Lorelei_Evil

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Re: Prom Cling-on**UPDATE #87,#173**
« Reply #192 on: March 28, 2013, 12:58:42 PM »
Add mine to that list.  No date, no ticket, no prom.  Very conservative town.

At my school (this was back in 1994) the only thing that was advertised on posters, etc, was the double ticket.  So it would have been easy to assume that singles weren't welcome.  But I just asked the sellers if I could buy a single ticket.  They blinked and froze for a second and then said, "Well, I guess so," and sold me the ticket.  I was allowed to do it but I had to ask first, is the point.  And the way they stared at me, it seemed as if the idea really had never occured to them that someone might want to go without a date, but once this radical new idea was introduced, they had no problem with it.

I got the last laugh, though.  I was the only person to buy a single ticket.  But I wasn't the only one to go to prom without a date.  Several girls had bought double tickets assuming they could get dates later-and it didn't happen.  So they paid double for nothing.

I heard there were a few from my class that had purchased doubles and tried to go with same gender friends as a friend group, but they were denied entry.  It was almost 25 years ago and I try never to set foot in the place, so it's very likely policy has changed. 

Several people I graduated with got married in the week after graduation.  People pair off young in this state. 

Moray

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Re: Prom Cling-on**UPDATE #87,#173**
« Reply #193 on: March 28, 2013, 12:59:32 PM »
Add mine to that list.  No date, no ticket, no prom.  Very conservative town.

At my school (this was back in 1994) the only thing that was advertised on posters, etc, was the double ticket.  So it would have been easy to assume that singles weren't welcome.  But I just asked the sellers if I could buy a single ticket.  They blinked and froze for a second and then said, "Well, I guess so," and sold me the ticket.  I was allowed to do it but I had to ask first, is the point.  And the way they stared at me, it seemed as if the idea really had never occured to them that someone might want to go without a date, but once this radical new idea was introduced, they had no problem with it.

Believe me, asking didn't help at ours. People asked every year I was at that school, to no avail (no idea if they've changed it in more recent years). They also said very explicitly over the PA, when announcing ticket sales, that you could not buy a single ticket. You didn't have to actually be dating your date, but you did have to rustle up an opposite-sex person to go with. The other rule was that one member of the couple had to be a senior, and neither could be a freshman.

That's what I encountered, too.
Utah

Sharnita

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Re: Prom Cling-on**UPDATE #87,#173**
« Reply #194 on: March 28, 2013, 01:05:37 PM »
As a teacher, i would getupset to hear ticket for dances advertised where the couple price was less per person than the single - $20 per couple or $15 for a single.  That used to tick me off but Iwas never in the position to do anything.  I haven't heard that in the past few years so I don't know if things have changed, if they stopped making it so obvious or if I stopped noticing as a means or preserving my sanity.