Author Topic: How to handle this situation?  (Read 5123 times)

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cheyne

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Re: How to handle this situation?
« Reply #15 on: March 25, 2013, 08:22:39 AM »
I think it would be polite for you and Mr. Teddybear to introduce yourselves to Mom.  She would probably appreciate a "heads up" about the ravines and snakes in the area.  As far as information on the s3x predators, that would be wise to let her know also.  It is concerning to me that the kids would run up to a man with a dog, as this is one of the techniques used by child predators to lure children away.


wolfie

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Re: How to handle this situation?
« Reply #16 on: March 25, 2013, 10:55:20 AM »
I vote for going over to introduce yourself first. Meet the kids, give her your contact information, get her phone number, etc. That will put you in a much better position to give her advice.

I would *not* give her a heads-up about dangers unless you see the kids behaving in a way that is problematic or you see a near-miss. If you know that there is a particular part of the neighborhood that is hazardous because of snakes, hornets, or a particularly unfriendly dog, then yes, give her a heads-up. However, it sounds like you're feeling tempted to tell her not to let her kids play outside unsupervised. I don't think that's a good idea.

As for the sex offenders, I'm rather torn. On the one hand, I do think parents should have a right to know if there is a potential predator in the area. On the other hand, not all people on the registry are going to be predators. Take "sexting" for instance. If a girl sends her boyfriend a naughty text, he technically is in possession of child pornography (and she has been producing and distributing it). A couple of kids who decide they want to fool around together are technically guilty of statutory rape. In neither case would the perpetrator be likely to go after neighborhood kids.

I also think they give a false sense of security. People forgot that it is only predators who have been caught that are on the list and they still need to be attentive to everyone else.

Ezio

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Re: How to handle this situation?
« Reply #17 on: March 25, 2013, 03:10:27 PM »
Are the kids sticking to public areas, or are they actually going onto other people's property?  Because if they're sticking to public areas, I don't see that the horses would be an issue at all.  And at the 6-10 age range, they're old enough that they should be able to be somewhat independent and explore the neighborhood, etc.  If there are specific dangers that you think the mom may not know about, due to being new to the neighborhood (snakes and how to watch out for them, dangerous dogs and where they might be, locations of any sex offenders that seem like they might be a particular danger to children (in so many cases, somebody seems to be on the child offender list because they were under 18 and had relations with somebody too much younger than them, but both were in high school, or what-not).  Not so much as a, "So, you shouldn't let your children roam," thing, as much as a, "I noticed that your children are out and about a lot, and I wanted to make sure you knew what to warn them about."

The only public area is the road that runs through then neighborhood. The horses are in the guys front yard. If the kids squeezed through the bars the stallion could very easily bite/stomp/or pick them up if he felt threatened.

What do you know about the sex offenders?

I ask, because it doesn't take much to get yourself placed on that list, and unless they're known to be child predators, I wouldn't worry her.  People are paranoid enough these days.

According to the sit (Watchdog) they were convicted recently of sexual assault and rape. I had seen these guys before I even knew about the site and they are realy creepy. The way the kids just ran up to me and started talking (I'm a big guy) is what concerns me.
I think it would be polite for you and Mr. Teddybear to introduce yourselves to Mom.  She would probably appreciate a "heads up" about the ravines and snakes in the area.  As far as information on the s3x predators, that would be wise to let her know also.  It is concerning to me that the kids would run up to a man with a dog, as this is one of the techniques used by child predators to lure children away.



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*inviteseller

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Re: How to handle this situation?
« Reply #18 on: March 26, 2013, 12:02:35 AM »
I agree that introducing yourself to the mom and just giving her a gentle heads up about the neighborhood, without seeming like you are telling her or the kids what to do/not do is fine.  And give her the website and say that there are a few registered offenders in the neighborhood...don't make it gossipy, just matter of fact.  I know I keep an eye on the list for my neighborhood.  There is actually a site for my county that tells you any parolees, not just registered offenders. I want to know, not just for my kids, but myself too. 

camlan

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Re: How to handle this situation?
« Reply #19 on: March 26, 2013, 09:49:45 AM »
I vote for going over to introduce yourself first. Meet the kids, give her your contact information, get her phone number, etc. That will put you in a much better position to give her advice.

I would *not* give her a heads-up about dangers unless you see the kids behaving in a way that is problematic or you see a near-miss. If you know that there is a particular part of the neighborhood that is hazardous because of snakes, hornets, or a particularly unfriendly dog, then yes, give her a heads-up. However, it sounds like you're feeling tempted to tell her not to let her kids play outside unsupervised. I don't think that's a good idea.

As for the sex offenders, I'm rather torn. On the one hand, I do think parents should have a right to know if there is a potential predator in the area. On the other hand, not all people on the registry are going to be predators. Take "sexting" for instance. If a girl sends her boyfriend a naughty text, he technically is in possession of child pornography (and she has been producing and distributing it). A couple of kids who decide they want to fool around together are technically guilty of statutory rape. In neither case would the perpetrator be likely to go after neighborhood kids.

I also think they give a false sense of security. People forgot that it is only predators who have been caught that are on the list and they still need to be attentive to everyone else.

In addition, while sex offenders are required to register, not all of them end up changing their addresses when they move. There was a very sad case in my old town of a young girl who was killed by a registered sex offender who was living in her apartment complex in his girlfriend's apartment, but registered at his mother's house in a neighboring town. Yes, he was in violation of his parole, but there was no real way to catch this.

While the lists of registered offenders can be helpful, they do not have all the information you need to be safe. They are one of many tools parents should use to protect their children.
Nothing is impossible, the word itself says, “I’m possible!” –Audrey Hepburn


LeveeWoman

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Re: How to handle this situation?
« Reply #20 on: March 26, 2013, 10:37:11 AM »
So people should not avail themselves of the tools that are available just because those tools might not work 100 %?

Judah

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Re: How to handle this situation?
« Reply #21 on: March 26, 2013, 10:46:04 AM »
So people should not avail themselves of the tools that are available just because those tools might not work 100 %?

No one has said that. Just that one shouldn't rely on this one tool to keep yourself safe.  It's one tool in the toolbox.
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bah12

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Re: How to handle this situation?
« Reply #22 on: March 26, 2013, 10:57:49 AM »
I think this is a matter of approach.  If you feel that the kids are darting in the street, not careful around animals, etc, then I don't think there's anything wrong with telling the mom "Hey, I've noticed your children running up to the dogs in the neighborhood and some of these dogs are not child friendly.  I'd hate to see something happen to them (or the dogs) because they aren't aware of the danger."  or "Hey, I was walking my dog yesterday and two of the children ran out in the street.  There's a 'blind corner' and cars tend to speed.  The streets in this neighborhood are not safe." 
I don't think you can say "Hey, you let your kids 'roam free' and yelling at them periodically to come back inside is not appropriate.  Aren't you aware of the dangers?"

One is giving a friendly 'heads up' that the kids are not playing safely and another is questioning her parenting skills/techniques.  The latter is rude.

I also agree with those that say you should introduce yourself first and welcome her to the neighborhood before you decide to tell her how much danger her kids may be in.