Author Topic: The worst movie you ever saw  (Read 31561 times)

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Verloona Ti

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Re: The worst movie you ever saw
« Reply #105 on: March 26, 2013, 08:10:21 AM »
House of 1000 Corpses. Rob Zombie not only owes me the price of admission, but 2 hours of my life as well. It seems sad to me that he doesn't get that you have to want to root for someone in a horror movie. If you just hate everyone, you have no investment in the plot.

Anyway, that movie is why we created the "Rob Zombie rule". We sat through that whole movie because it had to get better. It didn't. So, now, after 15 minutes or less, if a movie is dreadful, we acknowledge that it probably isn't going to get better and cut our losses.

Rob Zombie is convinced that the Firefly Clan in House are the heroes, and that everyone is rooting for Captain Spaulding. Seriously. Many people have the same complaint about that film as you do, the netflix and Amazon reviews were scathing , but did he take a hint? No  : Not too long ago, Zombie gave an interview to the makers of a documentary  on horrorfilms, and he was still spouting drivel about how his "anti heroes" expressed  some rebelliousness against authority center to the American soul( or something equally stupid).

Moulon Rouge . I know many love that film, but it and Lost in Translation were two films neither I nor DH could stand. LiT was my idea, and I wound up apologizing to him because of it!

Morrigan

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Re: The worst movie you ever saw
« Reply #106 on: March 26, 2013, 08:33:37 AM »
I confess..don't hate me! Neither my husband or I liked "Les Miz". Huge, over-dramatic waste of time! And I'm a singer! Didn't like the sung dialog, emotional messes of main songs, or Anne Hathaway coming back for Hugh Jackman at the end. Very cheesy! But I did like Helene and Sasha in their parts! And Jackman's "Send Him Home."

Well, that part happened in the stage musical.  Both her (Fantine) and Eponine came back for Jean.  "Come with me, where chains will never bind you.  All your grief, at last, at last behind you.  Lord in Heaven, look down on him in mercy..."

And Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter...yeah, that's the worst movie I've ever seen.  The horse scene was completely ridiculous (even more than the rest of the movie.)

Slartibartfast

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Re: The worst movie you ever saw
« Reply #107 on: March 26, 2013, 09:30:40 AM »
Oh, two more in the "so bad it's good" category, so they're actually recommendations:

Jesus Christ: Vampire Hunter - Canadian kung-fu musical set in the 80's for some reason even though it was made in 2001

and

B*tch Slap - not just for the plot, but because it's got half the cast from Xena and Hercules in it.  Also the entire plot seems to be written around getting the Charlie's-Angels-like main characters wet and showing their boobs jiggling in slow motion.  This movie was made much better by watching it at a "girls night" with two lesbian friends, so we could all laugh at how awful it was and then turn around and joke that at least the boob shots weren't wasted on SOMEone  :P

Venus193

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Re: The worst movie you ever saw
« Reply #108 on: March 26, 2013, 09:40:43 AM »
Let's add Tim Burton's insult to Dark Shadows.  While the first 20 minutes were good the rest of the film was astonishingly bad. 

siamesecat2965

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Re: The worst movie you ever saw
« Reply #109 on: March 26, 2013, 09:51:41 AM »
I blocked out The Iron Lady. I borrowed it from the library and was embarrassed that I wasted library money on buying it.  I think Wrath of the Titans was a better purchase.  It's a more honest movie--No one will mistake it for historically accurate.  Love her or hate her, but Thatcher is an interesting person.  Instead we got a film about dementia.  A boring film about dementia.

YES! I was excited to see it since she won an Oscar, and while her performance was good, the movie stunk. Thankfully i had a free PPV movie which i used this one. but i was no impressed.

SCAJAfamily

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Re: The worst movie you ever saw
« Reply #110 on: March 26, 2013, 10:22:40 AM »
Quote
Nightfall
Take arguably the finest sci-fi short story ever.  Stir in an half-baked romance.   And then make a movie so bad that it might actually warp the fabric of space time.   

When was a movie of Nightfall made?  Who was in it?  I see nothing on imdb.  I have the full length book, which is one of my favorites.

I nominate as worst movie the 1992 version of Dracula with Gary Oldman.  Two people got up and walked out.  For some reason, I stayed until the end. 

Melancholia is bloody awful too.  My dh and I just sat on our couch for five minutes afterwards thinking, that's it?!?!?
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athersgeo

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Re: The worst movie you ever saw
« Reply #111 on: March 26, 2013, 10:26:30 AM »
Interesting to see I'm not the only person with an aversion to Nicholas Cage!

I have another contribution:

Worst film voluntarily watched at the cinema: Alex Rider: Stormbreaker

Oh. My. Sainted. Aunt.

This one does drop into the "so bad it's good" category, really, but I did actually pay money to see it at the cinema, so...

Where to start.
1) It stars Ewan McGregor. (spoiler: he dies before the opening credits in a scene that completely snapped my suspension of disbelief)
2) It also stars Damian Lewis (spoiler: he's playing a Russian, but you wouldn't know that by the accent that he can't actually keep up)
3) It also, ALSO stars Bill Nye (spoiler: what a waste of an actor!)
4) It also, ALSO, ***ALSO*** stars Mickey Rourke (spoiler: Mickey Rourke in eye shadow *shudders*)
5) The climax (set in centralish London) features a horse vs car chase (spoiler: I wish I was making this up)
6) The highlight of the whole performance was Robbie Coltrane, playing the Prime Minister, who was clearly doing his very best Tony Blair impersonation, even down to "Education, education and education"*. (The ten year old sitting beside me had no clue why I was giggling through that part.)
7) Then there was the bad guy's henchwoman who was played by Missy Pyle and who was some sort of pseudo-East-German dominatrix. (Or, if you're aware of 'Allo, 'Allo, think the character of Helga but essentially played straight rather than played for laughs.)

About the only upside to this movie experience (apart from the entirely unintended giggles) is that I watched in the cinema during one of the hottest/most humid weeks of Bristol's summer and so I got the benefit of the cinema's air-con for two hours!


*Not to get into politics, but that was a fairly famous soundbite from Tony Blair during a speech at the 1996 Labour Party Conference (yes, I did have to look up the date!)

violinp

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Re: The worst movie you ever saw
« Reply #112 on: March 26, 2013, 10:33:25 AM »
Quote
Nightfall
Take arguably the finest sci-fi short story ever.  Stir in an half-baked romance.   And then make a movie so bad that it might actually warp the fabric of space time.   

When was a movie of Nightfall made?  Who was in it?  I see nothing on imdb.  I have the full length book, which is one of my favorites.

I nominate as worst movie the 1992 version of Dracula with Gary Oldman.  Two people got up and walked out.  For some reason, I stayed until the end. 

Melancholia is bloody awful too.  My dh and I just sat on our couch for five minutes afterwards thinking, that's it?!?!?

Augh, I hate, hate, hate that version! Lucy is not promiscuous (that's kinda the *whole point* of her character), and Mina never had a thing for Dracula. Ever. I don't want to know why Coppola thought that was a good idea. So, no, Coppola, it's not "Bram Stoker's" Dracula; it's "Francis Ford Coppola's" Dracula. And Keanu Reeves just makes that movie so much worse with his horrible attempt at an English accent. And, to add insult to injury, Coppola made Godfather III to fund Dracula. So, not only do we have a horrible adaptation of one of the most famous Gothic/horror stories of all time, we have an abomination of a movie that took its cues in emotion from bad soap operas as a double reminder of how much Coppola sucked in the 90's.
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Twik

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Re: The worst movie you ever saw
« Reply #113 on: March 26, 2013, 10:56:00 AM »
Augh, I hate, hate, hate that version! Lucy is not promiscuous (that's kinda the *whole point* of her character), and Mina never had a thing for Dracula. Ever. I don't want to know why Coppola thought that was a good idea. So, no, Coppola, it's not "Bram Stoker's" Dracula; it's "Francis Ford Coppola's" Dracula.

That's what gets me. Dracula is actually a pretty interesting book all on its own, without additional sexing up. If you're going to claim you're producing "Bram Stoker's Dracula", and turn it into Mina+Vlad Tepes shipping, you completely abandoned Stoker's opinion on the matter, which was that Dracula was not a nice person.

(I recall one commentator on a modern trend in horror complaining, "You lose the power of the metaphor of the vampire's bite = sex, when the vampire and the victim are actually SHOWN having sex".)
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Thipu1

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Re: The worst movie you ever saw
« Reply #114 on: March 26, 2013, 11:03:38 AM »
'It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World'.  It's supposed to be funny but every character in it is repellant.  You can't  like any of them. The whole movie is about greed.   That isn't humorous.   

'A Fish Named Wanda'.  This is supposed to be an hilarious comedy but the treatment  of the stuttering character is so brutal that I couldn't watch the thing.


stargazer

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Re: The worst movie you ever saw
« Reply #115 on: March 26, 2013, 11:10:07 AM »
6 Days 7 Nights - I don't know WHO thought Harrison Ford and Anne Heche would have any chemistry but trust me - they don't.  And I hate to hate on any Harrison Ford movie, but it is just one big cliche after another.  I mean you could practically see the director ticking each one off as they go.  Really really bad.

*new*mommyagain36

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Re: The worst movie you ever saw
« Reply #116 on: March 26, 2013, 11:19:08 AM »
This was from 1991 I think.  Do you remember Other People's Money - starring Danny DeVito.
No, of course not, no one does.  I went with my BF at the time and another couple.  I remember the movie starting and being so unamused that I walked out.  BF and other couple wandered out about 10 minutes later.  I couldn't even begin to list what was wrong with it.  I can't remember any of the plot, I just recall feeling so bored and irritated that I walked out.
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cabbageweevil

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Re: The worst movie you ever saw
« Reply #117 on: March 26, 2013, 11:29:07 AM »
The English Patient. I didn't get through much of it before I turned it off, but I was really hoping he would hurry up & die so the torture would be over.
I've heard a joker give it the alternative title of "The Patient English"; implying that no other nationality could endure sitting through it.

Redneck Gravy

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Re: The worst movie you ever saw
« Reply #118 on: March 26, 2013, 11:33:17 AM »
I am a Tom Cruise fan, but he has made some stinkers too - Vanilla Sky, War of the Worlds and Minority Report, Eyes Wide Shut  ugh   :o    The Mission Impossible series are tolerable but I absolutely love him in Knight and Day.

I am not a huge Stephen King fan either but The Shining was awful - both versions.  (loved Firestarter)

I left the theatre while watching The Fog (1980), that was just a horrible movie. 

Another loser - Videodrome turned the tv off and ripped out the tape

 

athersgeo

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Re: The worst movie you ever saw
« Reply #119 on: March 26, 2013, 12:13:20 PM »
This was from 1991 I think.  Do you remember Other People's Money - starring Danny DeVito.
No, of course not, no one does.  I went with my BF at the time and another couple.  I remember the movie starting and being so unamused that I walked out.  BF and other couple wandered out about 10 minutes later.  I couldn't even begin to list what was wrong with it.  I can't remember any of the plot, I just recall feeling so bored and irritated that I walked out.

*waves a hand* I actually DO remember it. Not because I watched it, but because I saw the trailer (repeatedly) for it when Sky Movies got it as a premiere probably about six months later. And no, the trailer didn't make me want to see it!

Another "bad" movie for you: Netherworld

It's listed as a horror movie, but it's about as horrifying as a bowl of cornflakes. It stars the guy-who-isn't-johnny-depp-but-looks-like-him and that kinda sums the whole thing up. Weird little movie. I should also note that the only reason I watched it is for the soundtrack, which was written by a musician I'm rather partial to. To my complete amusement, he subsequently popped up IN the film playing...a pianist in a bar band. Talk about type-casting!