The worst movie you ever saw

[Shabooty]

Sherman's March, anyone?

[Twik]

The only movie I ever walked out of was King Solomon's Mines.

No, not the classic Stewart Granger one (you know, the one where they went to Africa and filmed on location? The one with some of the most riveting dance sequences ever recorded?) I mean the one with Richard Chamberlain and Sharon Stone, that appears to have been filmed using a highschool gymnasium as a soundstage, and a "recreated from the memory of a 13 year old fanboy" copy of the script from Raiders of the Lost Ark, with the name of Spielberg's characters whited out and Chamberlain and Stone edited in.

It is a truly ghastly movie. I think we left when Chamberlain brushed a rubber snake off Stone's neck, and said, with a perfectly straight face, "it's a jungle out here".

The odd thing was, Chamberlain had just come out of "The Thorn Birds" as a big star, and I think this film killed any chance of that continuing.

[magiccat26]

DH and I love stupid comedies/spoofs.  (Think Airplane, Blazing Saddles, etc).  So we went to see what we thought was a funny Kung-fu movie spoof called:  Kung Pow, Enter the Fist. 

Worse.Movie.Ever.

I never laughed, never smiled, nothing, nadda, nyt.  It was awful.  I cannot believe we spent money to see it.  We sat through the whole thing hoping it would get better.  No such luck.

[Ginger G]

'It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World'.]

I had to laugh when someone mentioned this movie.  I can't stand it and my significant other LOVES it, it's one of his favorite movies of all time!  Usually, I'm the type that if I know someone loves something that I hate, I will keep my opinion to myself to avoid offending the other person.  One day, he decided to criticize a TV show I like.  I got offended and went off on a 5 minute rant about everything I hate about Mad Mad World.  It was a long time before he criticized any of my favorites again!

[Piratelvr1121]

Austin Powers: Goldmember.   Full of disgusting humor that had me gagging several times.  Dh and the older 2 like it though so when they watch it I tend to find another room to hole away in.

Saving Private Ryan.  My dislike of the movie isn't so much because of the movie itself, as every time I tried to watch it I'd fall asleep as they were storming the beach in the beginning.  The dislike is because of the outrage my friends at the time expressed at my falling asleep.  "How could you fall asleep?  It's unpatriotic, and your boyfriend in the Marines!!!"    I wish I could say they were joking. 

Donkey. Watched this with a friend years ago and hated it.

[Diane AKA Traska]

Austin Powers: Goldmember.   Full of disgusting humor that had me gagging several times.  Dh and the older 2 like it though so when they watch it I tend to find another room to hole away in.

Saving Private Ryan.  My dislike of the movie isn't so much because of the movie itself, as every time I tried to watch it I'd fall asleep as they were storming the beach in the beginning.  The dislike is because of the outrage my friends at the time expressed at my falling asleep.  "How could you fall asleep?  It's unpatriotic, and your boyfriend in the Marines!!!"    I wish I could say they were joking. 

Donkey. Watched this with a friend years ago and hated it.

Goldmember is horrid, and this from someone that liked the other two.

I lie Saving Private Ryan, but I will say it took me til the third try to get past the beach.

[Piratelvr1121]

Austin Powers: Goldmember.   Full of disgusting humor that had me gagging several times.  Dh and the older 2 like it though so when they watch it I tend to find another room to hole away in.

Saving Private Ryan.  My dislike of the movie isn't so much because of the movie itself, as every time I tried to watch it I'd fall asleep as they were storming the beach in the beginning.  The dislike is because of the outrage my friends at the time expressed at my falling asleep.  "How could you fall asleep?  It's unpatriotic, and your boyfriend in the Marines!!!"    I wish I could say they were joking. 

Donkey. Watched this with a friend years ago and hated it.

Goldmember is horrid, and this from someone that liked the other two.

I lie Saving Private Ryan, but I will say it took me til the third try to get past the beach.

And I realize now the filter changed the name of my last movie.  It's Jack a**

[Snooks]

And if you accept the idea of being able to judge a movie after only 5 minutes:  Dude, Where's My Car?  My friend was dating "Hot Alien Chick #5" and made me watch it so he could show her off.  Oh dear Lord above, that's 5 minutes I'm never getting back.

My friends made me see that, I never forgave them.  My friends as a teenager had awful taste in films.

There's another film that I saw which was dreadful but I can't remember what it was called.  I'll come back if I remember but I think I'm repressing the memory.

Casshern.  The whole experience was so awful no-one spoke when we left the theatre.

[MerryCat]

No one's mentioned Sharktopus yet? I can't decide if it's so bad it's good or just so very, very bad. I wouldn't watch it again, but I couldn't stop watching it the first time.

[Library Dragon]

SNIP

Saving Private Ryan.  My dislike of the movie isn't so much because of the movie itself, as every time I tried to watch it I'd fall asleep as they were storming the beach in the beginning.  The dislike is because of the outrage my friends at the time expressed at my falling asleep.  "How could you fall asleep?  It's unpatriotic, and your boyfriend in the Marines!!!"    I wish I could say they were joking. 

SNIP

Ha!    This reminds me of the Seinfeld episode "Raincoats."  From Wikipedia:

Jerry and Rachel go to see Schindler's List but cannot help making out since they have not been alone in such a long time. Newman, also in the cinema, spots them and is aghast. 

Chaos ensues. 

[Yarnspinner]

John Cusack is one of my favorite actors.  Ditto John Malkovich.  That said, promise me that I never, ever have to see Being John Malkovich again.  Two hours of my life I will never get back.

Withnail and I is another flick that got raves for its flat out lunatic humor.  Well, it was flat out lunatic. 

Adaptation:  Nicholas Cage and....Nicholas Cage in what was supposed to be an adaptation of The Orchid Thief, but the film writer couldn't think of a way to adapt the original book so instead, wrote about himself (and his imaginary twin brother) trying to figure out a way to adapt it.  No.

Movie I eagerly awaited seeing because I had read a misguided review that praised it for it's 1970s charm and horror:  House of Seven Corpses.  Two hours of people talking about a curse they have invoked by accident (it's always by accident) but hardly any indication of there being a reason to worry until Pokey The Corpse shows up at the end.

Other movie I couldn't wait to see and purchased from Amazon on the strength of a couple of reviews on some obscure site:  Winter Lily.  Bad acting and brainless character decisionmaking do not a suspenseful film make.

Finally, for sheer awfulness:  The Emperor's New Clothes.  Bad songs, horrific acting from Sid Caesar and Red Buttons, not to mention a character who tries to play mentally challenged for laughs.  And then therre are those songs.....and the sound effects...and....yeah, this is the one that will be playing endlessly in Hades.

[Yarnspinner]

No one's mentioned Sharktopus yet? I can't decide if it's so bad it's good or just so very, very bad. I wouldn't watch it again, but I couldn't stop watching it the first time.

How can you not love a Shark that can not only swim, but crawl upon the land and chow down on generic native ethnics (WHERE was this movie supposed to take place anyway?) by hanging upside down from the trees?

Have to nominate the SyFy channel's brilliant offering from last month:  Heebie Jeebies.  The ghosts (and skeletons) of five asian miners somehow fuse themselves into one laughable creature that staggers around the countryside ripping to shreds anyone who has some of their cursed gold.  It had everything:  the strict Chinese grandma who reveals (conveniently) only at the end that she speaks and understands English PERFECTLY, the teens who are out at night looking for love in all the wrong places, criminals who just amble by so they can get killed, the crazed, gold obsessed mine owner, the monster fodder in the form of dozens of "famed" bounty hunters who go after the monster....the list is endless and hysterical.  It was a dreadful movie, but pure comedy gold.

[Yarnspinner]

Austin Powers: Goldmember.   Full of disgusting humor that had me gagging several times.  Dh and the older 2 like it though so when they watch it I tend to find another room to hole away in.

Saving Private Ryan.  My dislike of the movie isn't so much because of the movie itself, as every time I tried to watch it I'd fall asleep as they were storming the beach in the beginning.  The dislike is because of the outrage my friends at the time expressed at my falling asleep.  "How could you fall asleep?  It's unpatriotic, and your boyfriend in the Marines!!!"    I wish I could say they were joking. 

Donkey. Watched this with a friend years ago and hated it.

Goldmember is horrid, and this from someone that liked the other two.

I lie Saving Private Ryan, but I will say it took me til the third try to get past the beach.

And I realize now the filter changed the name of my last movie.  It's Jack a**

See, I was wondering how I missed a movie about "Donkey" from the Shrek flicks and couldn't imagine that it would be bad at all!

[diesel_darlin]

Ted.

Now I admit that I love crass humor and off color jokes. This movie was even too much for me. My friend's 19 year old told me that it was hilarious and that I should watch it. Since I have the maturity of a 19 year old boy sometimes, I gave it a whirl. Never again.

[Piratelvr1121]

Astronaut's Wife.   I absolutely adore Johnny Depp but I'm afraid he just couldn't save the movie.  The plot is rather similar to that of "The Devil's Advocate" in that you have a couple madly in love, the guy changes and becomes evil and the wife is made to think she's crazy.   Only in this case Johnny Depp's character is somehow possessed by an alien after he comes back from outer space. 

Also, Nick of Time.  Just kind of boring, really.