The worst movie you ever saw

[LazyDaisy]

Can't believe I made it through the whole thread and no one mentioned Waterworld or Robin Hood Prince of Thieves. Two of Kevin Costner's biggest stinkers.

In RH:PoT he can't maintain an English accent and gives up at some point and morphs into some kind of Brooklyn, NY accent, except that Costner is from California. The movie was trying to be dramatic and romantic but fails miserably on both fronts. It might have succeeded as a comedy; Alan Rickman as the Sheriff was hilarious -- but I'm not sure he was supposed to be.

Waterworld was just all kinds of stupid and Costner's character was so unlikable and his acting was so wooden he made Keanu Reeves look good by comparison.

[KenveeB]

Accent issues aside, I always rather liked Prince of Thieves. Totally with you on Waterworld, though.

[andi]

Oh! I remembered another one! "The Crawling Eye". This is one of those awful 50's-60's sci-fi movies that aren't worth the film they are printed on! The Eyes (aliens?) live on a mountaintop and slide down to sneak up on the unsuspecting townfolk. Their attacks are basically waving their tentacles and shrieking. They are heralded by fog creeping over the hills and eerie music. It was SO bad.

When my hubby and I are driving and see fog on the peaks we shout "The Crawling Eye"!

That is a MST3000 movie - awesomely bad!!

And  I think "Sharktapus" was supposed to be set somewhere in Mexico (love my bad SY-Fi movies!!)

[rose red]

The Scarlet Letter (Demi Moore version). 

[nuit93]

Can't believe I made it through the whole thread and no one mentioned Waterworld or Robin Hood Prince of Thieves. Two of Kevin Costner's biggest stinkers.

In RH:PoT he can't maintain an English accent and gives up at some point and morphs into some kind of Brooklyn, NY accent, except that Costner is from California. The movie was trying to be dramatic and romantic but fails miserably on both fronts. It might have succeeded as a comedy; Alan Rickman as the Sheriff was hilarious -- but I'm not sure he was supposed to be.

If you haven't seen "Robin Hood: Men In Tights"...see it!  Mel Brooks rips on the Costner movie something fierce.

[Gyburc]

The English Patient. I didn't get through much of it before I turned it off, but I was really hoping he would hurry up & die so the torture would be over.

I've heard a joker give it the alternative title of "The Patient English"; implying that no other nationality could endure sitting through it.

Oh, I love this. DH and I also tried to watch this but gave up. Plus also, the heroine is married to Colin Firth and has an affair?? How is that in any way realistic??! 

[Twik]

Pearl Harbor is a dreadful, dreadful movie. It's so transparently thinking "I will do everything Titanic did, but bigger and better! I will be the world's top grossing movie evah!"

Meanwhile, historical inaccuracies, and humongous plot holes abound. Why yes, in Michael Bay's world, someone so illiterate they cannot even recognize the "E" on an eye chart can become a navy pilot (meanwhile, I'm wondering how they can even use the compass). And then, a few scenes later, they write a heartfelt letter to their girl. Apparently, no one working on the production brought up that there was a small problem with juxtaposing those scenes.

[Piratelvr1121]

Pearl Harbor is a dreadful, dreadful movie. It's so transparently thinking "I will do everything Titanic did, but bigger and better! I will be the world's top grossing movie evah!"

Meanwhile, historical inaccuracies, and humongous plot holes abound. Why yes, in Michael Bay's world, someone so illiterate they cannot even recognize the "E" on an eye chart can become a navy pilot (meanwhile, I'm wondering how they can even use the compass). And then, a few scenes later, they write a heartfelt letter to their girl. Apparently, no one working on the production brought up that there was a small problem with juxtaposing those scenes.

I am one that does like Titanic, but I really didn't like Pearl Harbor.  It's been so long since I've seen it that I totally forgot about those bits you mentioned.  It just seemed like an impossibly long movie.  And well yeah, Michael Bay.

[Twik]

Actually, Pearl Harbor is a good movie for sharpening claws on. It's one thing to make a bad movie if you're Ed Wood, with a shoestring budget and only your own imagination to rely on. It's another to create a historically inaccurate, romantically mawkish, overblown monstrosity when you have almost infinite resources to draw upon. Michael Bay cannot complain, "well, it's not what I visuallized, but I didn't have the money/assistance/time to get it right."

It would be a good basis for a drinking game, though. At various points (starting in the first minute), you can say, "All right, what would be the most cliched outcome for this situation or character? Here, we have a young boy climbing into an old grounded biplane and pretending to pilot it - what will happen? Yes, there in the corner - he will accidentally start the motor, and show amazing piloting skills in landing it? YOU ARE A WINNER! Take a drink (but I'd advise a small one, it's a long movie....)"

[Last_Dance]

Pearl Harbor is a dreadful, dreadful movie. It's so transparently thinking "I will do everything Titanic did, but bigger and better! I will be the world's top grossing movie evah!"

Meanwhile, historical inaccuracies, and humongous plot holes abound.

I watched it with my dad, who is an amateur historian specialized in WWII. Hilarity ensued.

That year we also saw Enemy at the Gates: my dad had a lot less to complain about it. 

[Twik]

Pearl Harbor is a dreadful, dreadful movie. It's so transparently thinking "I will do everything Titanic did, but bigger and better! I will be the world's top grossing movie evah!"

Meanwhile, historical inaccuracies, and humongous plot holes abound.

I watched it with my dad, who is an amateur historian specialized in WWII. Hilarity ensued.

I was just astounded how someone could write a script for a WWII movie where a main character is participating in the Battle of Britain, yet never once mention "Hitler" or "Nazis".

If your character is going to make inspiring speeches about "fighting for our freedoms," it's not gauche to mention who is trying to take them.

[Redneck Gravy]

Magic Mike: these guys are supposed to be attractive? Other than that Joe Manginello (I spelled that wrong) the others were mediocre looking beefheads at best. I certainly wouldn't pay $$ to have them "dance" for me. Matthew McConnaughey is soooooo oily and sweaty in that movie I could almost smell the BO through the screen. And the plot...sooo stupid.

Aggh, the movie was horrible, I went to see it 3 times, the eye candy was good enough for me.  Was it supposed to have a PLOT?

It did however introduce me to Channing Tatum.   

 

[KarenK]

The only movie I ever walked out of was King Solomon's Mines.

No, not the classic Stewart Granger one (you know, the one where they went to Africa and filmed on location? The one with some of the most riveting dance sequences ever recorded?) I mean the one with Richard Chamberlain and Sharon Stone, that appears to have been filmed using a highschool gymnasium as a soundstage, and a "recreated from the memory of a 13 year old fanboy" copy of the script from Raiders of the Lost Ark, with the name of Spielberg's characters whited out and Chamberlain and Stone edited in.

It is a truly ghastly movie. I think we left when Chamberlain brushed a rubber snake off Stone's neck, and said, with a perfectly straight face, "it's a jungle out here".

The odd thing was, Chamberlain had just come out of "The Thorn Birds" as a big star, and I think this film killed any chance of that continuing.

This was one of the first movies we rented after we bought our first VCR, and is responsible for what's known in my house as "The Rule of Raiders of the Lost Ark." If a movie compares itself to Raiders, run away!

I know Pearl Harbor is an abomination, but for some reason, DH and I watch it every time it's on, which used to be a lot, when we had cable.

[snowflake]

For some reason I am sort of forgiving to dumb action movies.  (Even if I don't like them.)  My loathing hatred is saved for those movies that are supposed to be "soooooo good."

1) Dead Poet's Society.  Um yeah.  Way to seize the day!

2) Reality Bites.  Stop whining.  No really. Stop. Stop. Stop.  I hope your life gets worse.

3) Amadeus.  OK, that wasn't a bad movie.  But I hate it when watching with other people how everyone snickers derisively at the "too many notes" line and feels smug because they aren't that stupid.  Um hello - that is the principle that Rock n' Roll is based on!  Do I see you jamming to baroque or changing the channel peevishly when you hear the sound of non-resonant instruments?

4) Good Will Hunting.  Once again, it wasn't terrible but I hate listening to everyone who thinks they are the misunderstood genius.  No, you aren't full of quiet surprises.  You are full of loud, dull thoughts.

[LazyDaisy]

Can't believe I made it through the whole thread and no one mentioned Waterworld or Robin Hood Prince of Thieves. Two of Kevin Costner's biggest stinkers.

In RH:PoT he can't maintain an English accent and gives up at some point and morphs into some kind of Brooklyn, NY accent, except that Costner is from California. The movie was trying to be dramatic and romantic but fails miserably on both fronts. It might have succeeded as a comedy; Alan Rickman as the Sheriff was hilarious -- but I'm not sure he was supposed to be.

If you haven't seen "Robin Hood: Men In Tights"...see it!  Mel Brooks rips on the Costner movie something fierce.

I loved Men in Tights! I like most of Mel Brooks movies although Space Balls got to be a little too dumb for my taste.