Author Topic: The worst movie you ever saw  (Read 39341 times)

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Miss Misery

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Re: The worst movie you ever saw
« Reply #195 on: March 28, 2013, 11:32:38 AM »
Basic Instinct 2 -- The first one wasn't exactly high art to begin with, but it's a masterpiece compared to this steaming pile of dung. It doesn't help that David Morrissey looks like he's about to vomit during all of his scrabble scenes.

G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra -- Big, loud, overly long, dumbed-down, brainless crap made by Stephen Sommers aka the biggest hack in Hollywood who isn't Michael Bay. Dennis Quaid is slumming for an easy paycheck, while Channing Tatum and Sienna Miller were having a contest to see who could deliver the laziest half-@$$ed performance. Miller won a well-deserved 2009 Razzie Award for Worst Supporting Actress. Note that Miller and Quaid are nowhere to be seen in the sequel.

Exorcist II: The Heretic -- Takes everything that made the first movie a classic and pukes all over it.
« Last Edit: March 28, 2013, 01:07:52 PM by Miss Misery »

Piratelvr1121

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Re: The worst movie you ever saw
« Reply #196 on: March 28, 2013, 12:59:38 PM »
On the subject of fake history, Disney's Pocahontas.

Oh yes!! That atrocity!   I went to Jamestown a few times while growing up, and loved the story of Pocahontas so at first when I heard Disney was making a movie about it, I was stoked,  Then I saw it.  GAH!! It was terrible!

1) Um, there are NO cliffs in that part of Virginia, thank you.   
2) Pocahontas was maybe 10 when the colonists came, NOT 17!!!
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.  You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata

jaxsue

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Re: The worst movie you ever saw
« Reply #197 on: March 28, 2013, 01:10:09 PM »
On the subject of fake history, Disney's Pocahontas.

This.

I recently found out that one of my ancestors was in Jamestown in 1608 (he came over on a supply ship). So he would have known Pocahontas and Capt. John Smith. I think that's pretty cool!

KenveeB

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Re: The worst movie you ever saw
« Reply #198 on: March 28, 2013, 02:02:00 PM »
I forgot to mention the Wickerman remake. Holy macaroni!. It was bad. So so bad.

The original? Pure genius.

Ptooi! Do not mention that atrocity, even on a thread of bad films! The original Wicker Man was absolute genius. The Nicholas Cage monstrosity should not be acknowledged as even attempting to remake it. :P

Twik

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Re: The worst movie you ever saw
« Reply #199 on: March 28, 2013, 02:11:50 PM »
On the subject of fake history, Disney's Pocahontas.

Not much worse, I suppose, than the Colin Farrell version, with him groping a 14-year-old actress.
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Outdoor Girl

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Re: The worst movie you ever saw
« Reply #200 on: March 28, 2013, 05:23:28 PM »
Two Academy Award winners (or at least nominated):  Howard's End and Sling Blade.  Both horrible.

I can't think of the name but there was a period piece with Michelle Pfeiffer and Daniel Day Lewis.  First movie I didn't watch through to the end.

Black Rain.  It was some sort of thriller with Michael Douglas.  Or was it Kurt Russell?  I slept through the middle of it - in the theatre.

And the poster who mentioned Mullholland Drive?  I agree.  Still no idea what that was about.

That was The Age of Innocence.  I enjoyed that one despite that Michelle Pfeiffer isn't up to Daniel Day Lewis is ability.

That's the one!  Thank you.
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Thipu1

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Re: The worst movie you ever saw
« Reply #201 on: March 29, 2013, 11:10:43 AM »
Dear Miss Misery,

How convenient that 'G.I. Joe.  Rise of the Cobra' is offered on TV tonight.  We must at least take a look at it. 

helixa

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Re: The worst movie you ever saw
« Reply #202 on: March 29, 2013, 12:39:24 PM »
I disliked Inception too, even seeing it at the movies didn't help.

My worst movie pick ever has to have been Anaconda though  :'(
   

Elisabunny

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Re: The worst movie you ever saw
« Reply #203 on: March 29, 2013, 09:30:50 PM »
Dear Miss Misery,

How convenient that 'G.I. Joe.  Rise of the Cobra' is offered on TV tonight.  We must at least take a look at it.

Quotes from today's review of G.I. Joe: Retaliation: "If a big, dumb action movie knows it's a big, dumb action movie and revels in that fact, is that preferable to a big, dumb action movie making the mistake of thinking it's significant, relevant art?"  The answer is, in short, yes (the second movie referred to is Olympus Has Fallen).  Also, "That's not to say that this "G.I. Joe" is good, aside from a couple of dazzling action set pieces, but at least it's efficient in its muscular mindlessness."   ;D
You must remember this: a ghoti is still a fish...

Piratelvr1121

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Re: The worst movie you ever saw
« Reply #204 on: March 29, 2013, 09:35:29 PM »
The Nostalgia Critic reviewed Pearl Harbor recently and oh man did he let loose with quite the rant about Michael Bay's treatment of history. 
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.  You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata

catbug

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Re: The worst movie you ever saw
« Reply #205 on: March 29, 2013, 10:37:31 PM »
I have to say the worst movie I ever saw was suggested by my mum, and even she agrees that it was a huge mistake. The Gods Must Be Crazy. It was horrible. There used to be a reviewer on tv that mum worked out that any movie he gave two or three stars to ended up being right up my parents alley. The four and five stars were generally too "arty" for my parents, and the one stars were generally just bad. The reviewer gave the worst movie I had ever seen a three star. Every other critic around was giving it five stars, and talking it up as a masterpiece. In what universe was that movie a masterpiece? I fell asleep. Mum fell asleep. But since we had a three day rental, we tried to watch it again, and again. Each time we fell asleep, though I tried to stay awake the third time. It was then we realised we weren't tired, but it was actually putting us to sleep. Mum can fall asleep at the drop of a hat (the opening sequence of Gladiator springs to mind, you know the huge battle sequence, mum started snoozing about 5 minutes in, then woke up just as the tiger sprang out in the colleseum fight at the end) but I never fall asleep watching movies, unless I am really tired, or it's Peter Jackson's King Kong. I really want to watch that movie, but I always fall asleep. Don't know why. The Gods Must Be Crazy should be used as a treatment for insomnia. Works for me. But even worse they made sequels.

As for other terrible movies, have to agree with those that have said Alexander, and also add Marie Antoinette (Kirsten Dunst). I expected Twilight to be bad just on the basis of the novel being one of the worst pieces of fiction that I have ever read. A friend of mine raved about Rocky Horror Picture Show, but I have never understood the attraction. I will watch up to Sweet Transvestite, then turn it off. From that point I just can't watch anymore.

One of my favourite movies (in my top 5) is one of those so bad it's good. The Pirate Movie. It's definitely a family favourite, and I know every single line of that movie. Kristy McNichol and Chris Atkins in a Pirates of Penzance spoof, filmed in Victoria with Aussie actors. It is hilarious, especially when you see people in it that have gone on to bigger things, and it is a really, really bad movie.

andi

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Re: The worst movie you ever saw
« Reply #206 on: March 29, 2013, 11:06:08 PM »
I love "The Pirate Movie" - the ending musical sequence is one of my all time favorites.

afbluebelle

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Re: The worst movie you ever saw
« Reply #207 on: March 29, 2013, 11:31:34 PM »
I thought y'all were talking about the movie "Pirates" (NSFW).  That movie is... well, really hilarious during the acting parts. It was voted "Best Movie" when we had our MST3K inspired "Pron and Chicken Thursdays" event.
My inner (r-word) is having a field day with this one.
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Library Dragon

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Re: The worst movie you ever saw
« Reply #208 on: March 30, 2013, 01:22:54 AM »
I forgot to mention the Wickerman remake. Holy macaroni!. It was bad. So so bad.

The original? Pure genius.

Ptooi! Do not mention that atrocity, even on a thread of bad films! The original Wicker Man was absolute genius. The Nicholas Cage monstrosity should not be acknowledged as even attempting to remake it. :P

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stargazer

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Re: The worst movie you ever saw
« Reply #209 on: March 30, 2013, 10:27:42 AM »
Dante's Inferno - I actually enjoy the first half of this movie or so.  SPOILER ALERT.   

But as soon as the volcano erupts, the movie goes from fun fluff to "are you kidding me".  Each scene has something more unbelievable than the last - it's like they kept trying to out do themselves in the most unrealistic situation ever.  Newsflash - volcanic lava WILL melt your car, regardless of what this movie tries to tell you.