The worst movie you ever saw

[whiterose]

Odds and Evens? Cool World?

I left the 2nd and 3rd Pirates of the Caribbean movies wanting those hours of my life back!!!

[cheyne]

The second Pirates of the Carribean, Dead Man's Chest.  I adored the first movie and couldn't wait for the sequel.  I actually fell asleep when the crew was rescuing Jack from the cannibals.  Awful crap that was.  The only good part of the movie was the last two minutes or so when you realize Barbossa was back and will be in the third movie.

As for the "so bad they are deliciously good" catagory:  *Drumroll please*

Hands-down winner is The Scorpion King starring The Rock.

Second place is Time Cop with Jean-Claude Van Damme.
 
Honorable mention goes to The Devil's Advocate starring Al Pacino and Keanu Reeves

[gingerzing]

Second place is Time Cop with Jean-Claude Van Damme.
 

I had a roommate years ago who had a thing about Van Damme movies.    
Actually the movie Double Trouble (or some such) where he played his own twin...esh

Though the so bad it is good for me of Van Damme was the movie Hard Target - Only because of the scene early on:
Natasha : What kind of a name is Chance?
Chance : Well... my momma took one...
 
And Wilford Brimley had a part in it as well (around the time of the oatmeal commercials if memory serves me.)

[violinp]

Kingdom of Heaven and Troy. The person who thought Orlando Bloom was an acceptable warrior in the times of the Crusades or in Troy was sadly mistaken.

But, wait! There's more fail!

Kingdom of Heaven: No one of that time would have made an inclusive speech about how the Holy Land is really everyone's land, and one site is not more holy than another. They just didn't think that way back then. It was "my way or I will firebomb you into the Bad Place my religion says you will go." It was so pandering to modern sensibility that I wanted to gag.

Troy: If Paris had crawled back to his brother like that, Hector would have had no problems killing Paris, because a man in that time could never look "weak" in that way. Okay, there were probably atheists in Troy at some point, but no one of Hector's standing would have ever disparaged the gods in public - that was a good way to become a pariah at best and very dead at worst. Also, the names are "Men - uh - LAY - us," "PRY - am," and "Puh - TROK - lus." Not "Men - uh - LAOS," "PREE - um," and "PAT - rok - lus." It makes me want to shake whoever was consultant on that film every time I hear those names being mangled. I bet that next time a Greek myth movie comes out, I'll hear someone in a film unironically refer to "Her - ACK - uhls," (Herakles, pronounced "HAIR - uh - klees") and I will be on the floor, laughing so hard there are tears in my eyes.

[Piratelvr1121]

The second Pirates of the Carribean, Dead Man's Chest.  I adored the first movie and couldn't wait for the sequel.  I actually fell asleep when the crew was rescuing Jack from the cannibals.  Awful crap that was.  The only good part of the movie was the last two minutes or so when you realize Barbossa was back and will be in the third movie.

That movie is the only one of the series I don't particularly care for.  Only parts I liked is when Jack is running down the beach toward the Pearl screaming, and when you see Barbossa and he says "So tell me, what's become of my ship?"

I love the other 3 movies.

[FlyingBaconMouse]

The second Pirates of the Carribean, Dead Man's Chest.  I adored the first movie and couldn't wait for the sequel.  I actually fell asleep when the crew was rescuing Jack from the cannibals.  Awful crap that was.  The only good part of the movie was the last two minutes or so when you realize Barbossa was back and will be in the third movie.

That movie is the only one of the series I don't particularly care for.  Only parts I liked is when Jack is running down the beach toward the Pearl screaming, and when you see Barbossa and he says "So tell me, what's become of my ship?"

I love the other 3 movies.

I'm starting to wish I'd gone to see Dead Man's Chest with e-Hellions! When Barbossa showed up at the end, I whispered "Yes!" and it rang out in the theater like I had a megaphone. 

[Piratelvr1121]

I think the 2nd movie should have had more Barbossa.  As much as I love Jack, I also greatly enjoy the character of Barbossa, as well as the interactions between Jack and Barbossa.   

So when the character showed up at the end I was so pleased to know he'd be back in the next movie. 

[magicdomino]

. I bet that next time a Greek myth movie comes out, I'll hear someone in a film unironically refer to "Her - ACK - uhls," (Herakles, pronounced "HAIR - uh - klees") and I will be on the floor, laughing so hard there are tears in my eyes.

Nah, they'll just use the Romanized "Hercules."  Everyone has heard of Hercules, either in the animated movie, or that TV series with What's-His-Name.  No one has ever heard of this Hair-clues guy, except maybe people who watch Mystery on Public Television.   

[MerryCat]

Ooo.. I just thought of one - Prometheus! I'll admit I loved the scenery pron. So many long, slow, sweeping shots of gorgeous landscapes... *sigh*

But the movie made next to no sense (Spoilers!)



How is she running around after an emergency c-section held together only with staples? What xeno-biologist, when faced with a chance to study the remains of an alien species, decides instead to run away? And then, goes on to try and poke at evil looking black, oozy snake things? How is it the guy with the map makey things is the one that gets lost? Why was only one of them smart enough to figure that, if they just roll 4 feet (literally!) to the side, the big wheely thing won't crush them? So many dumbs!

[KimberlyM]

I know Pearl Harbor is an abomination, but for some reason, DH and I watch it every time it's on, which used to be a lot, when we had cable.

HaHa.  Isn't it odd that some bad movies are like that?  Mine is Flowers in the Attic.  That thing is so poorly done and doesn't even follow the book much, and yet I can't stop watching every time it's on.

Mine are Flowers int he Attic and The Stand.  Both awful, both irresistible.

Worst ever though was Nurse Betty, my sister recommended it and now we just never watch anything she suggests.  I watched to the credits waiting for itself to redeem itself, never happened.

Waterworld and Red Dawn top my lists too.  Granted the problem with Red Dawn may be more that my husband watches it every single time it's on!

[Diane AKA Traska]

I know Pearl Harbor is an abomination, but for some reason, DH and I watch it every time it's on, which used to be a lot, when we had cable.

HaHa.  Isn't it odd that some bad movies are like that?  Mine is Flowers in the Attic.  That thing is so poorly done and doesn't even follow the book much, and yet I can't stop watching every time it's on.

Mine are Flowers int he Attic and The Stand.  Both awful, both irresistible.

Worst ever though was Nurse Betty, my sister recommended it and now we just never watch anything she suggests.  I watched to the credits waiting for itself to redeem itself, never happened.

Waterworld and Red Dawn top my lists too.  Granted the problem with Red Dawn may be more that my husband watches it every single time it's on!

Invite me.  I'll be deliberately obtuse.

"Wolverines?  I call bull. I don't see ONE set of claws, and they're not even Canadian!"

[Verloona Ti]

OK, here's a really, REALLY bad movie I am bringing up mostly because I hope someone else will recognize it and give it a name:

Late 1960s-*maybe* 1970/71. It's about a newlywed couple who stumble upon a rundown hotel and roadside attraction , only to discover that the insane man running the place is holding a woman captive. She recounts her tale of woe to the young couple, and one of the torments to which her captor has subjected her to was ripped off from the MUCH better movie Whatever Happened to Baby Jane? :  He serves his starving captive a dead mouse to eat. Then it turns out that, among the more normal (reptile?) exhibits the man has on display is a hidden Ancient Evil From the Depths of the Earth. Then Something happens (Explosion? Fire?) and the AE, the man, and the captive are dead, leaving the newlyweds traumatized but alive and safe. The End.

Ring any bells?

[Last_Dance]

Okay, there were probably atheists in Troy at some point, but no one of Hector's standing would have ever disparaged the gods in public - that was a good way to become a pariah at best and very dead at worst.

Have these people even read the Iliad? The greek gods weren't exactly a forgiving lot!

[AnnaJane]

+1 on Troy and Kingdom of Heaven. I remember at the time the latter came out, one medieval historian quipped that you'd get a more accurate picture of the Middle Ages watching Monty Python and the Holy Grail!

[Gyburc]

I'm going to second the PP who suggested Prometheus. It was such a shame, because it could have been a really good film.

I have to take issue with the PP who suggested Kingdom of Heaven, though! I agree that it would have been very unlikely for anyone to make the exact speech that Bloom's character does, but the concept of peaceful coexistence wasn't unheard of.

For instance, the 13th-century German author Wolfram von Eschenbach is known for his sympathetic portrayal of the Saracens in his works, and for his argument that they are 'God's handiwork' just like the Christians. Wolfram himself was a knight who had almost certainly been on Crusade. I admit that Wolfram was in the minority, but these views certainly did exist.

If anything, I would say that the greater inaccuracy in the film was the portrayal of the Templars as evil thugs, when in fact they were one of the more enlightened factions in the Crusades (largely because they had travelled widely and had more knowledge of the different cultures they were encountering).

Sorry - this turned into a bit of a lecture!