Dear Miss Misery,
How convenient that 'G.I. Joe. Rise of the Cobra' is offered on TV tonight. We must at least take a look at it.
LOL?? Did you see it? Did you think that you could have replaced Channing Tatum and Sienna Miller with cardboard cutouts and tape recorders and nobody would have noticed?Color of Night
-- Bruce Willis' first and last foray into soft-core p0rn; it's hard to believe that Willis was in Pulp Fiction
, which was released the same year. Color of Night
is like a Skinemax movie with actual actors in it. The supporting cast consisting of Lance Henriksen, Brad Dourif, Lesley Ann Warren, Kevin J. O'Connor, Scott Bakula, and Ruben Blades are completely wasted. There's a "shocking" plot twist that any idiot can see coming from a mile away. As of 2013 it remains the first and only movie to win the Razzie for Worst Film and nothing else.Hannibal
and Hannibal Rising
--proof that you can't make good movies from bad novels.All The King's Men (2006)
--a painfully boring movie and huge box office flop with Kate Winslet, Jude Law, and Anthony Hopkins tragically miscast as good ole Louisiana folk. Was there a shortage of Americans during the casting? The only positive thing to come out this movie was that it got the ball rolling on Jackie Earle Haley's comeback.Halloween (2007) and Halloween II (2009)
--Lets see...apparently bullying turns you into a 7-foot-tall inhuman killing machine. Laurie is turned into such a loud, whiny, screechy, obnoxious brat that I hoped Michael Myers would disembowel her so she'd shut up. Dr. Loomis is turned into an arrogant scumbag. Everyone, and I mean everyone
, drops the f-bomb three times in every.single.sentence. And Rob Zombie writes teenage girls like he's never met a teenage girl in his life.