Author Topic: The worst movie you ever saw  (Read 39805 times)

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crankycat

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Re: The worst movie you ever saw
« Reply #315 on: April 09, 2013, 09:43:53 AM »
Buffalo '66 - I actually had to look up the plot summary for this movie.  All that I remembered is that the plot was thin, it was poorly written and boring, and at the time wished I could have left the theater. 
From Dusk till Dawn - Oh my, what a disjointed, violent movie.  They must have gotten green ooze and fake blood by the vat-full.  Ish.
Welcome to the Dollhouse and Napolean Dynamite - I was an awkward child/teen.  It made me uncomfortable watching the main characters' discomfort for fun.

Piratelvr1121

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Re: The worst movie you ever saw
« Reply #316 on: April 09, 2013, 09:50:49 AM »
Oh man, I forgot "Welcome to the Dollhouse" and I just didn't get what the big deal was about Napoleon Dynamite.  It had it's funny moments but I wasn't dying with laughter like many others were.
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athersgeo

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Re: The worst movie you ever saw
« Reply #317 on: April 09, 2013, 10:44:16 AM »
I have to admit, I tend to assume that if a film is labelled "comedy" I probably won't find it funny - and in the last twenty five years, I can't remember an instance where that thought's been wrong!

A new category: decent films with "who the heck thought that was a good idea" plots

Exhibit A: Seven Brides for Seven Brothers

The music is fun; the dancing is good; the plot is about kidnapping women and forcing them to marry you and the characters think the rape of the Sabine Women is a GOOD example. Wait. WHAT?!!!

LazyDaisy

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Re: The worst movie you ever saw
« Reply #318 on: April 09, 2013, 11:34:05 AM »
I have to admit, I tend to assume that if a film is labelled "comedy" I probably won't find it funny - and in the last twenty five years, I can't remember an instance where that thought's been wrong!

A new category: decent films with "who the heck thought that was a good idea" plots

Exhibit A: Seven Brides for Seven Brothers

The music is fun; the dancing is good; the plot is about kidnapping women and forcing them to marry you and the characters think the rape of the Sabine Women is a GOOD example. Wait. WHAT?!!!

I also remember having a class on biblical history or something in college that said the word "rape" meant something different in latin -- more like kidnap rather than specifically s*xual assault. In that way the movie does follow the biblical story -- the Sabine women were never assaulted and neither were the girls in the movie, and when they were "rescued" they refused to return home.

Quite a few of the romantic type movies if done in real life would result in prison time, I think. If I remember correctly, the brothers didn't force the girls to marry them at all. When the brothers and fathers came to rescue the girls, they heard a baby crying -- Millie's baby with her husband, the oldest brother, Adam. When asked whose baby it was, all the girls paused and then answered it was theirs -- why? if the fathers believed their daughters had had... um relations ... with the brothers, they would force the brothers into marriage (shotgun wedding) -- which is what the girls wanted after all.
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athersgeo

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Re: The worst movie you ever saw
« Reply #319 on: April 09, 2013, 11:43:45 AM »
I have to admit, I tend to assume that if a film is labelled "comedy" I probably won't find it funny - and in the last twenty five years, I can't remember an instance where that thought's been wrong!

A new category: decent films with "who the heck thought that was a good idea" plots

Exhibit A: Seven Brides for Seven Brothers

The music is fun; the dancing is good; the plot is about kidnapping women and forcing them to marry you and the characters think the rape of the Sabine Women is a GOOD example. Wait. WHAT?!!!

I also remember having a class on biblical history or something in college that said the word "rape" meant something different in latin -- more like kidnap rather than specifically s*xual assault. In that way the movie does follow the biblical story -- the Sabine women were never assaulted and neither were the girls in the movie, and when they were "rescued" they refused to return home.

I'm aware of the Sabine women not necessarily having been assaulted (I'm a part-time classicist!), but it's still not really a story to be emulated, and as for the women not wanting to be rescued, that just makes me think "Stockholm syndrome", which still makes it an extremely "wait WHAT?!" plot as far as I'm concerned.

nuit93

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Re: The worst movie you ever saw
« Reply #320 on: April 09, 2013, 11:46:05 AM »
I have to admit, I tend to assume that if a film is labelled "comedy" I probably won't find it funny - and in the last twenty five years, I can't remember an instance where that thought's been wrong!

A new category: decent films with "who the heck thought that was a good idea" plots

Exhibit A: Seven Brides for Seven Brothers

The music is fun; the dancing is good; the plot is about kidnapping women and forcing them to marry you and the characters think the rape of the Sabine Women is a GOOD example. Wait. WHAT?!!!

I also remember having a class on biblical history or something in college that said the word "rape" meant something different in latin -- more like kidnap rather than specifically s*xual assault. In that way the movie does follow the biblical story -- the Sabine women were never assaulted and neither were the girls in the movie, and when they were "rescued" they refused to return home.

I'm aware of the Sabine women not necessarily having been assaulted (I'm a part-time classicist!), but it's still not really a story to be emulated, and as for the women not wanting to be rescued, that just makes me think "Stockholm syndrome", which still makes it an extremely "wait WHAT?!" plot as far as I'm concerned.

Yeah, the whole plot of that movie made me twitchy too.

Elisabunny

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Re: The worst movie you ever saw
« Reply #321 on: April 09, 2013, 12:26:56 PM »
I have to admit, I tend to assume that if a film is labelled "comedy" I probably won't find it funny - and in the last twenty five years, I can't remember an instance where that thought's been wrong!

A new category: decent films with "who the heck thought that was a good idea" plots

Exhibit A: Seven Brides for Seven Brothers

The music is fun; the dancing is good; the plot is about kidnapping women and forcing them to marry you and the characters think the rape of the Sabine Women is a GOOD example. Wait. WHAT?!!!

I also remember having a class on biblical history or something in college that said the word "rape" meant something different in latin -- more like kidnap rather than specifically s*xual assault. In that way the movie does follow the biblical story -- the Sabine women were never assaulted and neither were the girls in the movie, and when they were "rescued" they refused to return home.

I'm aware of the Sabine women not necessarily having been assaulted (I'm a part-time classicist!), but it's still not really a story to be emulated, and as for the women not wanting to be rescued, that just makes me think "Stockholm syndrome", which still makes it an extremely "wait WHAT?!" plot as far as I'm concerned.

Yeah, the whole plot of that movie made me twitchy too.

I think it only works because it's already been established that the brothers aren't bad, just really, really clueless.  Once Millie got through lecturing them, they were very penitent.  Plus, the girls already liked them.
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KimberlyM

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Re: The worst movie you ever saw
« Reply #322 on: April 09, 2013, 01:02:57 PM »
On from Dusk Till Dawn:  I was watching that with my ex sister in law.  I got up to get something to eat and when I came back I thought she had changed movies or something...it was a normal (albeit boring) movie when I left the room and when I came back they're in the middle of a horribly violent bar brawl with the undead...just plain weird! 

mharbourgirl

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Re: The worst movie you ever saw
« Reply #323 on: April 09, 2013, 01:26:43 PM »
Oh man, my college roommates tried to get me to watch 'From Dusk til Dawn' - knowing full well my incredibly intense abhorrence of gore.  "Hey, there's this cool vampire movie on, want to watch it?"  I walked in at one of the goriest scenes in the movie and promptly bolted for the bathroom to barf.  It's still not the worse movie I've ever seen simply because I haven't actually seen more than 20 seconds of it.

Award for worst movie ever probably goes to 'Ghosts of Mars'.  DH and I watched it because, well, we'll watch anything with Ice Cube in it at least once, and I'm desperately in love with Jason Statham. :)  O..M..G.  We expected it to be cheesy, just because nobody seems to know how to make a decent sci-fi movie.  It quickly turned into a gratuitous gore-fest and the plot, such as it was, resembled the worst bits of, oh, a SAW movie or crap like that.

Honourable mentions go to Event Horizon, The Core, and that 'Volcano in L.A.' movie, whatever it was called.  Or any movie JJAbrams had his sticky, science-ignorant fingers on.

Do made-for-TV-movies count here?  Because they're all mostly terrible, but 'Doomsday Prophecy' is just awful.  The lead actress looks like a young Laura Dern, and she's not bad, but the writing and the plot were just ridiculous.

*sigh* I have to settle for fun, cheesy sci-fi movies if I want to watch anything at all - I adore 'Fifth Element' and 'Lost in Space', for example (Gary Oldman helps).  Someone make a movie from Rendezvous With Rama, or maybe The Stainless Steel Rat.  Just don't screw it up, please?

Diane AKA Traska

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Re: The worst movie you ever saw
« Reply #324 on: April 09, 2013, 01:53:05 PM »
Oh man, my college roommates tried to get me to watch 'From Dusk til Dawn' - knowing full well my incredibly intense abhorrence of gore.  "Hey, there's this cool vampire movie on, want to watch it?"  I walked in at one of the goriest scenes in the movie and promptly bolted for the bathroom to barf.  It's still not the worse movie I've ever seen simply because I haven't actually seen more than 20 seconds of it.

Award for worst movie ever probably goes to 'Ghosts of Mars'.  DH and I watched it because, well, we'll watch anything with Ice Cube in it at least once, and I'm desperately in love with Jason Statham. :)  O..M..G.  We expected it to be cheesy, just because nobody seems to know how to make a decent sci-fi movie.  It quickly turned into a gratuitous gore-fest and the plot, such as it was, resembled the worst bits of, oh, a SAW movie or crap like that.

Honourable mentions go to Event Horizon, The Core, and that 'Volcano in L.A.' movie, whatever it was called.  Or any movie JJAbrams had his sticky, science-ignorant fingers on.

Do made-for-TV-movies count here?  Because they're all mostly terrible, but 'Doomsday Prophecy' is just awful.  The lead actress looks like a young Laura Dern, and she's not bad, but the writing and the plot were just ridiculous.

*sigh* I have to settle for fun, cheesy sci-fi movies if I want to watch anything at all - I adore 'Fifth Element' and 'Lost in Space', for example (Gary Oldman helps).  Someone make a movie from Rendezvous With Rama, or maybe The Stainless Steel Rat.  Just don't screw it up, please?

I loved Event Horizon, but because of some of the more sanguine moments, I can't watch it too often.

The Core and Volcano are guilty, "shut my brain off and curl up" flicks.
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Firecat

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Re: The worst movie you ever saw
« Reply #325 on: April 09, 2013, 01:56:34 PM »
Oh man, my college roommates tried to get me to watch 'From Dusk til Dawn' - knowing full well my incredibly intense abhorrence of gore.  "Hey, there's this cool vampire movie on, want to watch it?"  I walked in at one of the goriest scenes in the movie and promptly bolted for the bathroom to barf.  It's still not the worse movie I've ever seen simply because I haven't actually seen more than 20 seconds of it.

Award for worst movie ever probably goes to 'Ghosts of Mars'.  DH and I watched it because, well, we'll watch anything with Ice Cube in it at least once, and I'm desperately in love with Jason Statham. :)  O..M..G.  We expected it to be cheesy, just because nobody seems to know how to make a decent sci-fi movie.  It quickly turned into a gratuitous gore-fest and the plot, such as it was, resembled the worst bits of, oh, a SAW movie or crap like that.

Honourable mentions go to Event Horizon, The Core, and that 'Volcano in L.A.' movie, whatever it was called.  Or any movie JJAbrams had his sticky, science-ignorant fingers on.

Do made-for-TV-movies count here?  Because they're all mostly terrible, but 'Doomsday Prophecy' is just awful.  The lead actress looks like a young Laura Dern, and she's not bad, but the writing and the plot were just ridiculous.

*sigh* I have to settle for fun, cheesy sci-fi movies if I want to watch anything at all - I adore 'Fifth Element' and 'Lost in Space', for example (Gary Oldman helps).  Someone make a movie from Rendezvous With Rama, or maybe The Stainless Steel Rat.  Just don't screw it up, please?

If you haven't seen them, try Forbidden Planet, and The Day the Earth Stood Still - the original, NOT the "remake."

Virg

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Re: The worst movie you ever saw
« Reply #326 on: April 09, 2013, 03:04:09 PM »
Reika wrote:

"Fortunately, I saw that long before Waterworld. It was quite good, but I can't face it again."

A college friend of mine with a lot of talent and a sick sense of humor did something that might rescue this for you.  He redubbed a number of Kevin Costner films using his own voice for Mr. Costner (including Field of Dreams) so that he spoke with a strong British accent.  The joke is funny, the overarching dig is very funny, and watching him say "No, it's Iowa" sounding like John Cleese is screamingly funny.

Virg

jedikaiti

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Re: The worst movie you ever saw
« Reply #327 on: April 09, 2013, 07:00:55 PM »
Come to think of it, The Chronicles of Riddick.  I one tried watching it, at an ex's advice.  I think I came down with a bad fever in the beginning of the movie and just didn't feel great, so I can't think of the movie without feeling horribly ill.  Maybe I'll give it another try one of these years...

I love the Riddick movies, but I love action and I love Vin Diesel. I wouldn't recommend it to anyone who doesn't love both.
What part of v_e = \sqrt{\frac{2GM}{r}} don't you understand? It's only rocket science!

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jedikaiti

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Re: The worst movie you ever saw
« Reply #328 on: April 09, 2013, 07:09:34 PM »
I have to admit, I tend to assume that if a film is labelled "comedy" I probably won't find it funny - and in the last twenty five years, I can't remember an instance where that thought's been wrong!

A new category: decent films with "who the heck thought that was a good idea" plots

Exhibit A: Seven Brides for Seven Brothers

The music is fun; the dancing is good; the plot is about kidnapping women and forcing them to marry you and the characters think the rape of the Sabine Women is a GOOD example. Wait. WHAT?!!!

I also remember having a class on biblical history or something in college that said the word "rape" meant something different in latin -- more like kidnap rather than specifically s*xual assault. In that way the movie does follow the biblical story -- the Sabine women were never assaulted and neither were the girls in the movie, and when they were "rescued" they refused to return home.

Quite a few of the romantic type movies if done in real life would result in prison time, I think. If I remember correctly, the brothers didn't force the girls to marry them at all. When the brothers and fathers came to rescue the girls, they heard a baby crying -- Millie's baby with her husband, the oldest brother, Adam. When asked whose baby it was, all the girls paused and then answered it was theirs -- why? if the fathers believed their daughters had had... um relations ... with the brothers, they would force the brothers into marriage (shotgun wedding) -- which is what the girls wanted after all.

I think you just described about 95% of all romantic comedies. I can't stand most rom-coms, I just sit there and yell at the girls to grow a spine and mace the loser, but of course in these movies, if they mace the criminally clueless idiot, they immediately apologize. Grrrrr. I usually find rom-coms neither romantic nor funny.

Actually, if it's a comedy and made in the US, I'll probably hate it. My sense of humor has decidedly British leanings.
What part of v_e = \sqrt{\frac{2GM}{r}} don't you understand? It's only rocket science!

"The problem with re-examining your brilliant ideas is that more often than not, you discover they are the intellectual equivalent of saying, 'Hold my beer and watch this!'" - Cindy Couture

jedikaiti

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Re: The worst movie you ever saw
« Reply #329 on: April 09, 2013, 07:11:52 PM »
Oh man, my college roommates tried to get me to watch 'From Dusk til Dawn' - knowing full well my incredibly intense abhorrence of gore.  "Hey, there's this cool vampire movie on, want to watch it?"  I walked in at one of the goriest scenes in the movie and promptly bolted for the bathroom to barf.  It's still not the worse movie I've ever seen simply because I haven't actually seen more than 20 seconds of it.

Award for worst movie ever probably goes to 'Ghosts of Mars'.  DH and I watched it because, well, we'll watch anything with Ice Cube in it at least once, and I'm desperately in love with Jason Statham. :)  O..M..G.  We expected it to be cheesy, just because nobody seems to know how to make a decent sci-fi movie.  It quickly turned into a gratuitous gore-fest and the plot, such as it was, resembled the worst bits of, oh, a SAW movie or crap like that.

Honourable mentions go to Event Horizon, The Core, and that 'Volcano in L.A.' movie, whatever it was called.  Or any movie JJAbrams had his sticky, science-ignorant fingers on.

Do made-for-TV-movies count here?  Because they're all mostly terrible, but 'Doomsday Prophecy' is just awful.  The lead actress looks like a young Laura Dern, and she's not bad, but the writing and the plot were just ridiculous.

*sigh* I have to settle for fun, cheesy sci-fi movies if I want to watch anything at all - I adore 'Fifth Element' and 'Lost in Space', for example (Gary Oldman helps).  Someone make a movie from Rendezvous With Rama, or maybe The Stainless Steel Rat.  Just don't screw it up, please?

I loved Event Horizon, but because of some of the more sanguine moments, I can't watch it too often.

The Core and Volcano are guilty, "shut my brain off and curl up" flicks.

I call Event Horizon "Creepy Things Sound Creepier in Latin." It's one of the few movies that can actually creep me out, and Sam Neil does creepy really rather well.
What part of v_e = \sqrt{\frac{2GM}{r}} don't you understand? It's only rocket science!

"The problem with re-examining your brilliant ideas is that more often than not, you discover they are the intellectual equivalent of saying, 'Hold my beer and watch this!'" - Cindy Couture