Author Topic: The worst movie you ever saw  (Read 44441 times)

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Piratelvr1121

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Re: The worst movie you ever saw
« Reply #330 on: April 09, 2013, 07:36:34 PM »
I have to admit, I tend to assume that if a film is labelled "comedy" I probably won't find it funny - and in the last twenty five years, I can't remember an instance where that thought's been wrong!

A new category: decent films with "who the heck thought that was a good idea" plots

Exhibit A: Seven Brides for Seven Brothers

The music is fun; the dancing is good; the plot is about kidnapping women and forcing them to marry you and the characters think the rape of the Sabine Women is a GOOD example. Wait. WHAT?!!!

I also remember having a class on biblical history or something in college that said the word "rape" meant something different in latin -- more like kidnap rather than specifically s*xual assault. In that way the movie does follow the biblical story -- the Sabine women were never assaulted and neither were the girls in the movie, and when they were "rescued" they refused to return home.

Quite a few of the romantic type movies if done in real life would result in prison time, I think. If I remember correctly, the brothers didn't force the girls to marry them at all. When the brothers and fathers came to rescue the girls, they heard a baby crying -- Millie's baby with her husband, the oldest brother, Adam. When asked whose baby it was, all the girls paused and then answered it was theirs -- why? if the fathers believed their daughters had had... um relations ... with the brothers, they would force the brothers into marriage (shotgun wedding) -- which is what the girls wanted after all.

I think you just described about 95% of all romantic comedies. I can't stand most rom-coms, I just sit there and yell at the girls to grow a spine and mace the loser, but of course in these movies, if they mace the criminally clueless idiot, they immediately apologize. Grrrrr. I usually find rom-coms neither romantic nor funny.

Actually, if it's a comedy and made in the US, I'll probably hate it. My sense of humor has decidedly British leanings.

I used to really like Rom Coms but just don't like them as much as I used to because of that.  In fact, the two rom coms I still like are While You Were Sleeping and Love Actually.  The first because I just enjoy Sandra Bullock and the second because I enjoy the British humor and many of the actors. 
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violinp

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Re: The worst movie you ever saw
« Reply #331 on: April 09, 2013, 07:58:05 PM »
Maybe this isn't the worst movie I ever saw, but it's the best movie I never want to see again: Quills. It has Geoffrey Rush, Joaquin Phoenix, Kate Winslet, Stephen Moyer...how could it possibly go bad?

Oh, wait. It's a movie about the Marquis de Sade, and Geoffrey Rush is playing him. The Marquis is in a mental institution run by a priest (played by Joaquin Phoenix), and Kate Winslet is a laundress who helps the Marquis smuggle his perverted stories out to be published. The summary of the plot is totally NSF work or the squeamish, but I will provide a link to those who want to know and have iron stomachs: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0180073/synopsis?ref_=tt_stry_pl

All the performances are masterful, and the story was beautiful in its horror, but I never, never, ever want to watch it again. It's a movie that stays with you forever and gives you a lot to think about, but it will mess you up in so many ways.
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nuit93

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Re: The worst movie you ever saw
« Reply #332 on: April 10, 2013, 12:57:02 AM »
Maybe this isn't the worst movie I ever saw, but it's the best movie I never want to see again: Quills. It has Geoffrey Rush, Joaquin Phoenix, Kate Winslet, Stephen Moyer...how could it possibly go bad?

Oh, wait. It's a movie about the Marquis de Sade, and Geoffrey Rush is playing him. The Marquis is in a mental institution run by a priest (played by Joaquin Phoenix), and Kate Winslet is a laundress who helps the Marquis smuggle his perverted stories out to be published. The summary of the plot is totally NSF work or the squeamish, but I will provide a link to those who want to know and have iron stomachs: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0180073/synopsis?ref_=tt_stry_pl

All the performances are masterful, and the story was beautiful in its horror, but I never, never, ever want to watch it again. It's a movie that stays with you forever and gives you a lot to think about, but it will mess you up in so many ways.

I love that movie, but they made the actual works of the Marquis de Sade seem relatively tame.

violinp

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Re: The worst movie you ever saw
« Reply #333 on: April 10, 2013, 01:17:26 AM »
Maybe this isn't the worst movie I ever saw, but it's the best movie I never want to see again: Quills. It has Geoffrey Rush, Joaquin Phoenix, Kate Winslet, Stephen Moyer...how could it possibly go bad?

Oh, wait. It's a movie about the Marquis de Sade, and Geoffrey Rush is playing him. The Marquis is in a mental institution run by a priest (played by Joaquin Phoenix), and Kate Winslet is a laundress who helps the Marquis smuggle his perverted stories out to be published. The summary of the plot is totally NSF work or the squeamish, but I will provide a link to those who want to know and have iron stomachs: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0180073/synopsis?ref_=tt_stry_pl

All the performances are masterful, and the story was beautiful in its horror, but I never, never, ever want to watch it again. It's a movie that stays with you forever and gives you a lot to think about, but it will mess you up in so many ways.

I love that movie, but they made the actual works of the Marquis de Sade seem relatively tame.

Well, what he actually wrote and did would have been a funhouse for something on the level of Saw or Hostel, so I don't blame them.  :-X
"It takes a great deal of courage to stand up to your enemies, but even more to stand up to your friends" - Harry Potter


Piratelvr1121

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Re: The worst movie you ever saw
« Reply #334 on: April 10, 2013, 07:16:56 AM »
I read that synopsis of the plot and now I think I need a shower.
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.  You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata

Twik

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Re: The worst movie you ever saw
« Reply #335 on: April 10, 2013, 11:32:44 AM »
Maybe this isn't the worst movie I ever saw, but it's the best movie I never want to see again: Quills. It has Geoffrey Rush, Joaquin Phoenix, Kate Winslet, Stephen Moyer...how could it possibly go bad?

Oh, wait. It's a movie about the Marquis de Sade, and Geoffrey Rush is playing him. The Marquis is in a mental institution run by a priest (played by Joaquin Phoenix), and Kate Winslet is a laundress who helps the Marquis smuggle his perverted stories out to be published. The summary of the plot is totally NSF work or the squeamish, but I will provide a link to those who want to know and have iron stomachs: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0180073/synopsis?ref_=tt_stry_pl

All the performances are masterful, and the story was beautiful in its horror, but I never, never, ever want to watch it again. It's a movie that stays with you forever and gives you a lot to think about, but it will mess you up in so many ways.

I love that movie, but they made the actual works of the Marquis de Sade seem relatively tame.

Well, what he actually wrote and did would have been a funhouse for something on the level of Saw or Hostel, so I don't blame them.  :-X

I just read a quote of his in another book, and it turned my stomach.
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violinp

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Re: The worst movie you ever saw
« Reply #336 on: April 10, 2013, 11:46:58 AM »
I read that synopsis of the plot and now I think I need a shower.

Yeah, it does that to ya. *shudder*
"It takes a great deal of courage to stand up to your enemies, but even more to stand up to your friends" - Harry Potter


SDG31000

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Re: The worst movie you ever saw
« Reply #337 on: April 11, 2013, 08:48:58 AM »
There are many films posted about here that I agree with......Titanic and anything "starring" Tom Cruise to start with.

I also have to add-

Casino Royale (The Daniel Craig version)  I can recall plots and info on movies that I watched 20 odd years ago, but it took me 4 attempts to watch this all the way through and I can't remember any of it.

Another Stakeout starring Richard Dreyfuss and Rosie O'Donnell.  DH and I went to see this when I was pregnant with DS1 and both of us fell asleep in the cinema.  I remember there was a big dog in it and that's all.

Virg

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Re: The worst movie you ever saw
« Reply #338 on: April 11, 2013, 03:24:48 PM »
SDG31000 wrote:

"There are many films posted about here that I agree with......Titanic and anything "starring" Tom Cruise to start with."

I've always found that most actors can be good at something, even if they're bad a lots of things, and that the perfect role is out there for them (with notable exceptions for people who just shouldn't be actors like Paris Hilton).  So whenever I see a comment about hating everything that a particular actor is in, I look through their credits to see if there's something in there that rescues them from abject and complete failure.  For Tom Cruise, that credit is Risky Business.  I personally liked Jerry Maguire but I still can't decide whether I liked his performance or whether I liked it enough that I didn't find his performance annoying.  But Risky Business was a good film, and it was good because of him.

"Another Stakeout starring Richard Dreyfuss and Rosie O'Donnell."

I'm with you on this one.  I enjoyed the first one a lot, but as soon as I saw the trailers I knew the second one would be a horror show, and it really was.

"I remember there was a big dog in it and that's all."

Now, now, this is Etiquette Hell, so it's not polite to talk about actors like that...  ;D ;D

Virg

Piratelvr1121

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Re: The worst movie you ever saw
« Reply #339 on: April 11, 2013, 03:45:31 PM »
The only thing I don't mind Tom Cruise in is A Few Good Men because there are other actors that make it enjoyable to watch and Cruise does have a few funny lines. 
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.  You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata

LazyDaisy

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Re: The worst movie you ever saw
« Reply #340 on: April 11, 2013, 03:53:28 PM »
Some actors just play the same character over and over no matter what film they're in. The first time or few times, it works because they're actually acting according to the role. They receive acclaim for it and think, "I was loved for it last time, I'll do it again!" Among those for me are Kevin Costner, Tom Cruise, and Keanu Reeves.

Kevin Costner: It doesn't matter if he's dropped on an alternate Earth, into the post Civil War American West, or medieval England -- Kevin Costner will play a self absorbed wounded soul with antisocial tendencies who, despite whining and pouting about it (and maybe quitting or running away once or twice), will do something somewhat heroic, learn nothing in the process, and go back to his pouting as soon as the crisis is over.

Tom Cruise's characters: a cocky jerk with a few actual skills/talent which allow him to succeed despite usually causing most of his own problems, learns nothing throughout the process, still a cocky jerk at the end.

Keanu Reeves -- a cyborg with the personality of tofu. I think his best work was Ted because it's the only time he showed something close to human emotion -- dude, bogus.




edited because I do know the difference between the Revolutionary War and Civil War
« Last Edit: April 12, 2013, 10:49:53 AM by LazyDaisy »
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Piratelvr1121

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Re: The worst movie you ever saw
« Reply #341 on: April 11, 2013, 03:59:21 PM »
Laughing about Keanu Reeves because that is so true. I used to have a crush on him in the days of "Speed" but look back now and think "what was I THINKING????????"
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.  You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata

LazyDaisy

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Re: The worst movie you ever saw
« Reply #342 on: April 11, 2013, 04:06:13 PM »
You want to really see a train wreck of acting from Keanu Reeves, he played Don John in Much Ado About Nothing (1993). Oooof, Keanu Reeves trying to deliver Shakespeare is just about as bad as it gets. The rest of the movie was surprisingly just fine -- they cast real people for the other roles.
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violinp

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Re: The worst movie you ever saw
« Reply #343 on: April 11, 2013, 04:10:02 PM »
You want to really see a train wreck of acting from Keanu Reeves, he played Don John in Much Ado About Nothing (1993). Oooof, Keanu Reeves trying to deliver Shakespeare is just about as bad as it gets. The rest of the movie was surprisingly just fine -- they cast real people for the other roles.

With apologies to Shakespeare, Much Ado About Nothing sounds like the story of Keanu Reeves' career.
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Slartibartfast

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Re: The worst movie you ever saw
« Reply #344 on: April 11, 2013, 04:21:20 PM »
You want to really see a train wreck of acting from Keanu Reeves, he played Don John in Much Ado About Nothing (1993). Oooof, Keanu Reeves trying to deliver Shakespeare is just about as bad as it gets. The rest of the movie was surprisingly just fine -- they cast real people for the other roles.

Was just thinking of that one  :)  It's particularly bad because he's up there against people like Denzel Washington, Kenneth Branagh, and Emma Thompson - Keanu Reeves spends the whole thing looking like he has something uncomfortable lodged in his posterior and someone took away his favorite toy.