Author Topic: No, Really, I'm Happy For Them  (Read 5883 times)

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It's good to be Queen

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Re: No, Really, I'm Happy For Them
« Reply #15 on: March 26, 2013, 07:05:53 PM »
I think if they perist you should just say something like "Seriously, I hope you don't think I'm that petty!"  Then they are in the position of  not being able to musch else but "of course not".

kckgirl

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Re: No, Really, I'm Happy For Them
« Reply #16 on: March 26, 2013, 07:12:01 PM »
I have three cousins born the same year, two in June, one in October, and my birthday is in November. We always thought it was cool that we were all so close in age. Our children are all similar in age, but don't know each other well because we all eventually settled in different parts of the country.
Maryland

scotcat60

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Re: No, Really, I'm Happy For Them
« Reply #17 on: March 27, 2013, 07:42:04 AM »
One person even said, "she stole your spotlight once when you were born, and now she's doing it again!"

As if your cousin deliberately chose to be born when she was. She had noc ontrol over that.
Just say, "Did she? I wasn't aware of it."
And you will have someone who will really understand what you are going through when it comes to the less fun aspects of pregnancy, and maybe you can help each other out.

lolane

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Re: No, Really, I'm Happy For Them
« Reply #18 on: March 27, 2013, 02:13:05 PM »
Thank you all for your replies. I apologize for not jumping back on here sooner. In response to the question about who is making these sorts of comments - it seems to mostly be family members of my parent's generation. Which is interesting, because I have heard of mothers-to-be and brides having this type of attitude (of being mad if they aren't the center of attention), but I thought it was a relatively new thing.

I think going forward I'll just continue to show enthusiasm, and if people press, use something along the lines of, "I'm surprised you have such a low opinion of me."


laceandbits

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Re: No, Really, I'm Happy For Them
« Reply #19 on: March 28, 2013, 09:45:57 AM »
I have one cousin exactly nine months older than me, and another exactly nine months younger.  They are the children of my father's two sisters.  It gave me great innocent pleasure once I nearly understood the birds and the bees to think that my paprents had celebrated the birth of my older cousin, and that my other aunt and uncle had celebrated my birth.

CakeEater

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Re: No, Really, I'm Happy For Them
« Reply #20 on: March 28, 2013, 06:24:47 PM »
One person even said, "she stole your spotlight once when you were born, and now she's doing it again!"

As if your cousin deliberately chose to be born when she was. She had noc ontrol over that.
Just say, "Did she? I wasn't aware of it."
And you will have someone who will really understand what you are going through when it comes to the less fun aspects of pregnancy, and maybe you can help each other out.

Yes! What a bizarre suggestion that she stole your thunder by being born!

ClaireC79

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Re: No, Really, I'm Happy For Them
« Reply #21 on: March 30, 2013, 05:52:53 AM »
Have you ever suggested something along those lines before? (ie you didn't throw a strop when you were 4 that 'cousin got to share my Barbie cake and i's NOT FAAAIIIIIIRRRR) obviously even if you did they should have grown up.

I know when my SIL was pregnant and due 3 weeks after me I did make some sort of comment after her scan about it not being fair that she leap frogged me and went to being due 3 weeks before me, but it wasn't serious (and no one took it as serious) - In our case things didn't work out but it would have been lovely having 'twin cousins' (almost) growing up together

citadelle

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Re: No, Really, I'm Happy For Them
« Reply #22 on: March 30, 2013, 08:59:47 AM »
Thank you all for your replies. I apologize for not jumping back on here sooner. In response to the question about who is making these sorts of comments - it seems to mostly be family members of my parent's generation. Which is interesting, because I have heard of mothers-to-be and brides having this type of attitude (of being mad if they aren't the center of attention), but I thought it was a relatively new thing.

I think going forward I'll just continue to show enthusiasm, and if people press, use something along the lines of, "I'm surprised you have such a low opinion of me."

I thought that this must be a more recent phenomenon as well. To be blunt, I really can't relate to thinking of pregnancy as a time to be the center of attention. Is validation from others such an important part of pregnancy? Did mothers in colonial times expect that they would have "thunder" that could be "stolen"? Is there someone here who feels this way willing to explain?

I've been pregnant twice and always grateful for good wishes. But if my cousin were having a baby around the same time? Wouldn't have shown up on my radar as a problem.

Keep it up, OP. Maybe these people have noticed the trend toward feeling proprietary and are expecting that you will feel the same. Hopefully, they will be pleasantly surprised when realizing that you don't.