I think I'm going to "flake" as I'm sure the seller expected.
Can you tell me if the following sounds very rude?
Dear [seller] and [daughter],
Thank you for your willingness to accomodate me in purchasing this wheel. The transaction has now become too frustrating to continue.
[Daughter] requested that I pick up the wheel yesterday, and I was willing and able to do so, however, no pickup address was given. I sent 3 emails requesting a specific location (my first one early in the morning in reply to her suggestion, my second an hour after she said she would be home from work, and my third shortly before the latest I would have been able to leave my house and be back at a reasonable time), but did not receive a reply.
My last email consisted of 3 suggestions for alternate pickup days and even suggested meeting at a [coffee shop] if she's not comfortable giving her address (something I would understand entirely - I am, after all, a complete stranger). I still have received no reply.
I am sorry for any inconvenience this may cause and wish you the best of luck in selling this wheel in the future.
So tell me.... how does that sound?
I am giving the daughter until tonight to reply with specifics for pickup and then I'm going to back out of the transaction.