Hostesses With The Mostest > Entertaining and Hospitality

Asking for an item before it's served

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Mammavan3:
If a guest told me that they had to leave early, I would immediately ask if they had time for dessert first or if they'd like to take some with them. And if this were an older relative, I'd be doubly sure that they were served or given some. I'm not the most organized hostess in the world but I do have whatever serving implements are necessary ready, as well as containers for left-overs, so it would take only a few minutes to do so and would not take me away from the party for very long. And I am one of those from-scratch, days-of-preparation cooks.  I take my hostessing responsibilities very seriously.

OTOH, if it were a request from someone of whom I am not particularly fond and who always needed special attention, I would have been somewhat put-out.

TootsNYC:

--- Quote from: TurtleDove on March 27, 2013, 11:55:48 AM ---
--- Quote from: WillyNilly on March 27, 2013, 11:52:55 AM ---
--- Quote from: Zilla on March 27, 2013, 11:30:38 AM ---To me rude would be a sit down dinner with courses being served.  While people are all sitting formally at the table one gets up and asks for dessert.  That I could see as that would disrupt the flow.  But in the scenario the OP portrays?  Nope.

--- End quote ---

If the dessert wasn't already set out, ready to be served, I see no difference between a sit down dinner and buffet really.
(And if the dessert was already set out and ready there would no reason to ask, as it was there ready for those who'd finished their dinner.)

--- End quote ---

For me I think it was weird to not have it all set out.

--- End quote ---

I don't!
Because there might not be room. Or, because you might want to change the vibe of the event when you change the food!

Miss Tickle:
The thing that I find off is being treated like a restaurant. If your guests aren't feeling well they should make their excuses and just go, not stop the hostess serving dinner to ask for a doggy bag. That's not asking for something they need it's just something they want. It's so incredibly self-centered.

Since the two guests were playing against each other (sending the wife to ask for the husband) think I would sympathetically grab their coats and bags, invite them to return when she was feeling better and completely ignore the catering request since I wouldn't want to delay their departure another second.

bloo:

--- Quote from: Miss Tickle on April 07, 2013, 01:11:27 PM ---The thing that I find off is being treated like a restaurant. If your guests aren't feeling well they should make their excuses and just go, not stop the hostess serving dinner to ask for a doggy bag. That's not asking for something they need it's just something they want. It's so incredibly self-centered.

Since the two guests were playing against each other (sending the wife to ask for the husband) think I would sympathetically grab their coats and bags, invite them to return when she was feeling better and completely ignore the catering request since I wouldn't want to delay their departure another second.

--- End quote ---

In practice, I'd agree with you. That's why in my earlier post I mentioned about a previous couple of guests' consistent, rude behavior made me feel like a short-order cook.

But there's no reason I gleaned from either the OP or subsequent updates to it to head towards the advice shared in your second paragraph. If I could bring myself to treat two guests in my home that way, I certainly could bring myself to not invite them in the first place. These are people that are actually liked, even by the peeved hostess in the OP.

Sharnita:

--- Quote from: Miss Tickle on April 07, 2013, 01:11:27 PM ---The thing that I find off is being treated like a restaurant. If your guests aren't feeling well they should make their excuses and just go, not stop the hostess serving dinner to ask for a doggy bag. That's not asking for something they need it's just something they want. It's so incredibly self-centered.

Since the two guests were playing against each other (sending the wife to ask for the husband) think I would sympathetically grab their coats and bags, invite them to return when she was feeling better and completely ignore the catering request since I wouldn't want to delay their departure another second.

--- End quote ---

See, I think the reaction that you won't give it to them is waht makes it feel restaurant - y to me.  I mean, if  I am the host and my purpose in preparing the food is love for my guests and the simple desire to see them enjoy it then I want to make sure they get the chance to do so.  That means that when I hear they need to leave early I give them dessert or send it home for them.  Withholding it defeats my whole purpose.  Now if I intended to make a profit, it would make sense to refuse to give somebody food if they didn't pay in money, time or whatever else I was charging.

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