General Etiquette > Life...in general

Sales party: the bait and switch! Update #42, #48, #90, #109, FINAL #134

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Emmy:
Not over-reacting at all.

Your friend did so many rude things here.  First of all, she is pulling a bait and switch.  Second of all, she is not taking 'no' for an answer.  It is very rude for her to push you into going to the party, even if the reason was you simply did not feel like going.  The fact she knows you have a high risk pregnancy and are on bedrest by doctor's orders and is still pushing you to attend a sales party shows that she thinks she is the center of the universe and thinks very little of your situation. 

If she is pulling that kind of pressure on you, I imagine when other guests victims go to this 'friendly get together', she'll apply a lot of pressure for them to buy cosmetics.  It really seems she values the money or goodies she'll get from selling the make-up over the well being and comfort of her friends. 

zyrs:
You are not overreacting.  What she did is just  :o.

Hopefully she will realize just what she did and apologize to you.

 

Nemesis:
Op here.

Thank you to everyone who responded, for the reassurances that I am not overreacting. I was hypersensitive during my last pregnancy so this time, I wasn't sure if my hurt and anger is actually rational and justified.

Waterlight, I read about your "friend" in your thread and she is just awful. Unbelievably terrible. I am so sorry about your dad. And I hope that "friend" will someday learn that the world does not revolve around her!

Peaches, you brought up something that I did not consider - that emails can last forever. You are absolutely right. I was so tempted to blast away, but now I will definitely refrain from a written response.

I will send her a text message tomorrow. What do you think of the wording below:

Hi, I discussed your party with Mr. Nemesis and we decided that the trip will be too risky for me and the baby. Thanks for the invitation anyway, and I hope you guys have a good time!

Personally, I think it is too nice and polite. But then again, I am still angry and hurt. I will sleep on it and see if my opinion changes tomorrow.

KB:

--- Quote from: Nemesis on March 26, 2013, 06:01:24 AM ---I will send her a text message tomorrow. What do you think of the wording below:

Hi, I discussed your party with Mr. Nemesis and we decided that the trip will be too risky for me and the baby. Thanks for the invitation anyway, and I hope you guys have a good time!

--- End quote ---

I must admit I'd be inclined to say something like '[Beginning as is.] Thanks for the invitation anyway, and I hope the make-up party goes really well.'

That tells her you know exactly what is going on and why without sounding at all nasty or negative. Should she have a guilty conscience, that might wingadingdingy it, which is all to the good. If she doesn't, she most likely won't even notice, but you will have said your piece, which I imagine will make you feel better.

Twik:
I wouldn't place the "blame" on a spouse - she'll just respond about how you have to live your own life, and your spouse shouldn't be so controlling.

Also, I think it is justified to let her know that *you* know that it is a sales party. That may, eventually, make her realize she has done a shameful thing.

So, here's my draft,

"Hi, I've checked with my doctor, and s/he says that bedrest is non-negotiable for me for the next couple of months. I'm sorry I can't attend, but I hope you and your guests have a blast, and that you get to sell a lot of product. Best wishes, Nemesis"

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